Our pal Jason is having one hell of a big DVD day, with no less than six different releases dedicated to the masked masher. With that in mind, we dig up a piece from last February and reminisce over our favorite slasher's greatest hits.
To commemorate the re-re-reawakening of good ol' Jason Voorhees, I thought it'd be fun to toss out seven of my favorite kills from the hulking lunatic. And so I did. To find out if the new Friday the 13th has any kills worth considering, well, I guess you'll have to buy a ticket. Or wait for the DVD. Or cable.
Mark (Friday the 13th Part 2) -- This is where we learned that all bets were off: Not only would Jason gladly kill a good-looking handicapped guy who was about to get sexed up ... but he'd also give the wheelchair-bound lothario one of the series' most diabolical demises! Yep, poor Mark got a machete in the face before his wheelchair bounced (backwards!) down a giant staircase. Simple, creepy, effective.
Andy (Friday the 13th Part 3) -- Why would a guy spend his after-sex time walking around on his hands? So that Jason can chop him (downward!) from the groin to the ... I dunno really, but in a movie filled with cheesy FX and unconvincing kills, this one still comes off as impressively nasty. I was gonna go with "Jeff & Sandra's post-coital dual-skewer" scene, but the MPAA gutted most of that creativity.
Jack (Friday the 13th) -- Most hardcore fans would probably pick Annie (nasty throat slice) or Marcie (axe to the face!), but there's something about that hand popping up from beneath Kevin Bacon that always freaked me out. Plus the "arrow throat" gag works exceedingly well, whether you're watching the American version or the slightly messier UK edition.