Us critics, we don't hate Michael Bay. Well, not all of us, and not all the time. I wasn't a fan of his Transformers, nor Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen, and I haven't watched The Rock or Armageddon in their entirety in years, but I distinctly enjoyed 2005's The Island during its ill-fated theatrical run (gross: $35 million, cost: between three and four times that), and I still do as a decent sci-fi/action matinee outing.

But how?, I've been asked. It does after all bear every other trademark of a Michael Bay outing: explosions, rampant product placement, blatant racial stereotypes, explosions, perpetual dusk lighting, explosions, and a female lead constantly flattered by her wardrobe (yeah, a real woe-is-us scenario).