Look, I know the American economy is in a recession right now. Financial times are tough and everyone's pulling back on their spending, but can you really put a limit on protecting the lives of your family and friends? No, of course not, which is why you owe it to yourself to spend a measly $1,500 or so on an authentic vampire killing kit from the 19th century.

It just so happens that Steven's Auction Company based out of Mississippi will be putting one such kit up on the bidding block on October 31st (what a coincidence!). And if you're not in the vicinity of the Port Gibson auction house, fret not, because they do take phone bids.

And this is no chintzy, simple box with a bit of pointy wood in it, either. According to the Collector's Quest blog, "These are expensive kits, made for the wealthy; not some cheap and cheesy plastic novelty items. Such luxury concedes a seriousness - a deadly seriousness. These items were made to address deep, dark, primal fears. And then, like our fears often are, they were not thrown away but stored in equally dark and out of the way places... Antique wooden killing kits in the attics of old houses, just waiting for the day when the creatures creep from the attics of our minds."

If it was good enough to protect a rich slave owner living on a plantation in the 1800s (my own conjecture), then it's certainly going to be good enough to stave off hordes of the undead in 2009. Now please, don't put such earthly things like price above the value of the sanctity of your soul. Don't be a cheapskate, spend the cash and guarantee that you die human.
categories Horror