According to The Hollywood Reporter's Heat Vision blog, Summit Entertainment may not be done ruining vampires forever. Not content simply unleashing the-franchise-that-must-not-be-named, apparently they've decided to hash together their own interpretation of the story of Vlad the Impaler in which they want to, and this is a quote, "break a new talent." For those who fell asleep in Medieval Hungarian History, Vlad the Impaler was a badass ruler who served as the inspiration for Bram Stoker's Dracula. The film is to be directed by music video director Anthony Mandler and Summit somehow roped Brad Pitt's Plan B Entertainment into co-producing the project.

This royally sucks. If you love the character of Dracula, or just vampires in general, this should turn your stomach. Vlad the Impaler was a scary mofo and the story of his life is truly the stuff of legends. His father was murdered, his brother's eyes were sealed shut with hot pokers and he was then buried alive, and he spent the rest of his life reclaiming and losing the throne. His reign involved unspeakable torture and bloody, bloody conflict. A movie about this guy should be directed by someone like Ridley Scott and involve the assistance of Peter Jackson's Weta Digital. This is the tale that may have given birth to the conceptual blueprint of the modern vampire and it's in the hands of these morons? The studio that fell apart after Once and haven't released a decent film since?

What we will likely get instead is a whiny, shirtless Vlad who never ages past age 16 and the film will focus on his love life; such as it was. I have no faith in a project that lists breaking a "new talent" as one of its major goals. All that means is that they will nab one of Rhianna's backup dancers or scour the WB for the least talented hunk-chest they can find. I swear to Vorhees if I see one sparkle on Vlad's cheek, I will slice throats.
categories Movies, Horror