10. Sandra Bullock

2009 audiences have been especially kind to Sandra Bullock, with her equally stuck-up performances in The Proposal and The Blind Side paying off something fierce and re-establishing her star status in the meantime. However, in All About Steve, she opted to change things up by playing a batsh*t insane crossword designer/stalker who chased Bradley Cooper's cameraman across the country. With hair like a Pomeranian and a pair of gaudy redboots that make her toes "feel like ten friends on a camping trip," she demonstrated why someone might be sent away from the spotlight before they can stage a comeback. -- WG

. Christian Bale's Anger Issues
The internet blew up earlier this year when a tape was released featuring an extremely angry Christian Bale going absolutely apeshit on the set of Terminator Salvation. This was less than a year after the dude found himself arrested following a domestic dispute with his mother and sister. Either someone needs to give Batman a set of chill pills, or in 2010 we'll be expecting the real "American Psycho" to step out from behind the curtain. -- ED

8. Motion-Capture
We get it, Mr. Zemeckis. You remain a remarkably flexible director who's not above raising the bar on technical effects in order to achieve your desired vision. But if you're going to surround Jim Carrey with endless computer-generated imagery in A Christmas Carol without making him look much more different than Jim Carrey with each ghost he plays, why not just stick him in front of a green screen and avoid that creepy doll-eyed look altogether? The 3-D's nifty and all, but this mo-cap technology is what's keeping your holiday tschotske from becoming a true classic. -- WG

7. Katherine Heigl
It's hard to be America's Future Sweetheart when you're constantly enjoying the taste of your own foot. Heigl famously slammed her breakout role in Knocked Up as being demeaning to women, but promptly signed up for every fluffy rom-com she could. (If you failed to see the feminist message in 27 Dresses or The Ugly Truth, you're not alone.) I'm willing to excuse that as an awkward slip, but let's consider the poor crew of Grey's Anatomy. Depending on Heigl's mood, they either fail to give her enough to do, or work her too hard. She may pride herself on being outspoken, but the ugly truth is that she's just behaving badly. -- ER

6. Failed Novel Adaptations
If it's any indication that Hollywood needs to FIND BETTER MATERIAL ALREADY, 2009's high profile book adaptations mostly fell flat on the big screen, with one sparkly, vampiric exception. (Even with a gazillion-dollar box office, The Twilight Saga: New Moon didn't score with critics.) Angels & Demons, The Time Traveler's Wife, The Lovely Bones,He's Just Not That Into You... so many literary bestsellers proved to be best-snoozers or misfires that we'd be happy if no more are made until 2011, when Peter Jackson returns to Middle-earth with The Hobbit to show everyone again how it's done. -- JY

5. White Guilt
Precious and The Blind Side were probably made with good intentions. But their parallel stories -- poor, obese, black teenagers are rescued by kindly white folks -- left a bad taste in some viewers' mouths because they felt patronizing. Add District 9 to that mix, with its Apartheid allegory, and you've got three movies that might have been made to soothe white people's guilty consciences. Where's Dave Chappelle to make fun of all this? -- ES

4. Film Blogger Twitter Fights
On any given day throughout 2009, you could easily find at least one or two idiotic film blogger feuds on Twitter, complete with stupid insults, cheap threats and promises to, like, totally fight outside the Comic Con convention center at 3pm. Some bloggers are convinced they know more about film than anyone on the planet, while others are convinced they know enough to please their readership. It's all rather pointless and, at times, kinda entertaining -- sorta like your seventh grade cafeteria table, only not as creative -- and at the end of the day it's really just a big old sloppy d*ck measuring contest. Eventually we hope these folks grow up, realize they write about movies on the internet for a living and aren't exactly curing world hunger, but chances are it'll be business as usual come Monday morning. -- ED

3. Michael Bay vs. Megan Fox
She compared him to Hitler, and he posted a foul-mouthed, scandalous hate letter from anonymous "crew members" on his website. At first glance this dispute had all the markings of a mildly amusing mid-season sitcom ... except it really happened and it was really embarrassing for all parties (because both Fox and Bay acted like a couple of jaded teenage girls on the rag). But aside from the antics on MTV's Jersey Shore, it was probably the second most amusing white-trashy fight of the year. -- ED

2. The Roman PolanskiSituation
Switzerland finally decided to grow a pair earlier this year when they arrested Roman Polanski on that decades-old sex charge, hoping to eventually extradite him to the United States to face charges and complete his sentence. Though he's already spent time in jail, as well as a number of years living with that one act of bad judgment, apparently law enforcement doesn't have anything better to do with their time than to chase a accused sex offender whose victim doesn't even want him to be in trouble. I wonder, if the roles were reversed and it was some famous actress in this position -- would we still care about this case all these years later, or would college boys have the actress' poster hanging in their dorm rooms? -- ED

1. The Twilight Phenomenon

Ladies and gentlemen, Hollywood has finally found a way to legally sell porn to young teenage girls, and it's come in the form of shirtless vampires and werewolves who boast six-pack abs and totally swoon over some regular Plain Jane from Forks, Washington. Those who thought this whole Twilight thing was nothing but a fluke had their stupid beliefs body-slammed in 2009 when The Twilight Saga reached new heights of absolute f**king hysteria. It's sorta like Beatles Mania ... if The Beatles churned out two really mediocre movies that would almost certainly go direct-to-DVD if they didn't contain some mysterious drug that causes every single teenage girl on the planet to cry and shout and freak out. While the films continue to break box office records, the rest of Hollywood will shovel vampires down our throats and up our ... noses until they figure out how to duplicate Twilight's success. Meanwhile, can't someone just explain why these vampires don't have fangs? -- ED

categories Cinematical