We've seen the dirtiest and eFilmCritic's Criticwatch has laid out the full year in quotes. But what were the dumbest things to appear in film ads and commercials in 2009? Other than a recommendation for Old Dogs, of course. What puns made you smack your head or lines that you couldn't believe someone would say, let alone get repeated? Here are fifteen to get you started that topped my list.
15. "He's still a thriller." (Michael Jackson's This Is It) - Richard Corliss
- We'll ignore one of the biggest news stories of the year that suggested Mr. Jackson is "still" anything and just focus on the incredibly lame pun cooked up by Time magazine's chief critic. A more discerning follower of the singer's career over the year might have chosen his follow-up album to describe what he was over the past few decades. But to each his own. Too soon?
14. "Locked and loaded for funny." (Paul Blart: Mall Cop) – Todd Hill, Newhouse Syndicate
- Something we learned from both mall cop films of 2009 (the other being the far superior Observe & Report) is that this security force isn't allowed to carry guns. So Paul Blart couldn't be "locked" or "loaded" for anything, let alone "funny."
13 (tie). "Nine is a ten!" - Larry King - & - "Nine looks like a million." (Nine) - Gene Shalit
- Do we blame Spinal Tap for this particular wit of escalating numerical value when a clear ceiling has been established? Was someone on the junket for Blake Edwards' 10 and beat Nigel Tufnel to the punch? Nine is actually a thirty-seven at the moment. That's the current rating at Rotten Tomatoes making King & Shalit's hyperbolic recommendations all the more suspect and silly.