When a big property like Conan is finally cast, that initial moment of excitement (or despair) is matched only by watching the subsequent waves of fan reaction. It's one reason I enjoy my job so much. It's people watching on a global and digital scale, and it's especially enjoyable if you're not particularly invested in the character. So much about fandom, fantasy, and imagination is revealed in people's knee-jerk reactions. (And yes, I've been guilty of them myself. Who isn't?) I couldn't care less who plays Conan the Barbarian. The only thing I wish for is a good sword-and-sorcery movie so that someone will put together a Red Sonja movie. A real Red Sonja movie. Not the cultish cheese that was Brigitte Nielson's attempt, nor the elaborate piece of fan fiction that Robert Rodriguez is cooking up.

In fact, I nearly scrapped the piece when I learned Rodriguez's film was still faintly breathing. (I'm sure readers wish I had.) I've actually tried to be kind about that, but let's face it, it was always an excuse to put Rose McGowan in a chain mail bikini. Well, she already took the photos in it, so why not just leave it at that? Leave it as a nice, sexy piece of pop art that men and women snapped up at ComicCon 2008, and allow the t-shirts to live on as a geeky relic. There's no need to waste millions on a script, casting, and special effects just to see McGowan moving around in the bikini unless you're a die hard McGowan fan or Rodriguez himself. Scrap it. Start over.
categories Cinematical