I know that most movie bloggers would tell you to shush anyone who talks during a movie. I won't do that. Here's why: if you shush someone in a movie theater these days, you're likely to get a meat thermometer jammed into your neck! Whaaaaat?

A man fell into a coma after being stabbed in the neck with meat thermometer -- all because he asked a woman to turn off her cell phone during a packed screening of Scorsese's Shutter Island. After he approached the woman, she left with two men and returned a few moments later, stabbed the victim and took off. Two other moviegoers were injured in the altercation and all are expected to survive, but the biggest question is: why the hell was she carrying a meat thermometer? Did she leave and get it out of her car? And why was it in her car? Perplexing!

It's bad enough that city dwellers have to deal with random shootings and stabbings that happen at theaters, now we get to worry about a new rash of crazies getting all turkey lurkey on us. Here's hoping Eli Roth uses this story as inspiration for a full length version of Thanksgiving. Check out the news story and Roth's trailer (NSFW) after the jump.