Quentin Tarantino may not have won an Oscar last Sunday, but according to IGN, he won a role in Raja Gosnell's live-action movie The Smurfsinstead. Small consolation, there, I guess. Tarantino will be joining a cast that includes Neil Patrick Harris, certifiably insane comedy legend Jonathan Winters as Papa Smurf and part-time lesbian Katy Perry as Smurfette. Tarantino will of course be playing the most annoying smurf of them all -- Brainy Smurf.

I could not stand Brainy Smurf when I was a kid. The bespectacled know-it-all demanded respect from the other smurfs in a whiny, nasal twang, always warning against some calamity that was sure to befall the smurfs, or thinking of himself as the second-in-command to Papa Smurf. The other smurfs never seemed to like him much, and who can blame them? He could've ended up in the bottom of Gargamel's kettle, and I wouldn't have cared.

The obvious joke here is to re-imagine Tarantino's trademark dialogue, replacing "smurf" (as smurfs do) for some of his choice expletives, so please allow me to make the obvious jokes now.

"Lemme tell you what 'Like a Smurfette' is about. It's all about this smurf who's a regular smurf machine, I'm talking morning, day, night, afternoon, smurf, smurf, smurf, smurf, smurf, smurf, smurf, smurf, smurf." (from Reservoir Smurfs)

"I don't need you to tell me how smurfing good my coffee is, okay? I'm the one who buys it. I know how good it is. When Smurfette goes shopping, she buys SMURF. I buy the gourmet expensive stuff because when I drink it, I want to taste it. But you know what's on my mind right now? It ain't the coffee in my kitchen, it's the dead smurf in my garage." (from Smurf Fiction)

Or you could just watch someone's homemade parody video after the jump.

categories Movies, Cinematical