There's a little movie opening tomorrow called The Human Centipede (First Sequence) that I think has wrestled its way into the spotlight for longer than most could have predicted. Even if you have no interest in actually seeing it, once you know the premise of Tom Six' film, you can never forget it: a crazed doctor kidnaps three people, surgically removes their kneecaps so they physically cannot stand, and then grafts them together in a mouth-to-anus chain to form the titular abomination. That's the kind of premise that you just have to tip your hat to. It's so absurd, so ghastly that it demands to be seen by anyone with a sweet tooth for the morbid.
Trouble is, The Human Centipede isn't a very good movie. I know, what a shocker, right? But even beyond the dreadful acting that would warrant a walkout from anyone without prior knowledge of the plot, Six' film falls short because it's all concept with little-to-no follow-through. The only reason anyone would want to see it is because of how curiously disturbing it promises to be, but the actual execution is pretty tame. The only remotely bothersome moment arrives when their newly united digestive system starts to function for the first time, but beyond that it's a surprisingly run-of-the-mill horror movie delivery.
So I'd like to log The Human Centipede as the first film in my Cinematical Seven list of movies that are all concept, no follow-through. Joining it are: