I'm sure you've heard by now. After nearly three months, BP has finally managed to cap the original Gulf oil spill, preventing further Dinosaur Ghosts from setting up shop off the coast of the United States. It looks like it's holding. For now. Just don't start celebrating. This could be the dramatic calm before the storm, the quiet before the mayhem of the third act.

Let's hope for the best. Let's hope that the cap holds and the oil is officially and finally stopped and that BP exec can get his life back. Heck, maybe some of the crabs and birds and fish and dolphins who've been ingesting Texas Tea for the past 90 days or so can their lives back, too. Let's not get selfish here. Animals are people too, right?

But are we really safe? Are we really? Have things gone too far? Maybe. Maybe not. All I know is that the theory of an apocalyptic methane bubble forming in the Gulf of Mexico thanks to BP's little whoopsie-daisy is the most terrifying thing I've read about since I started this column. The only thing keeping my brain from breaking is the writer's nutty, conspiracy theorist, Woody-Harrelson-in-2012 tone that has me convinced that he's something of a crazy person. Even then...

categories Features, Sci-Fi