The panel for Resident Evil: Afterlife was so painful that the guy who got stabbed in the eye immediately afterward was probably feeling relief more than anything else (although the unimaginable agony coming from the new hole in his face was probably a close second. also, the guy really should have kept his 3-D glasses on. I mean, the knife lunging at him would have looked so cool). Okay, and now that I've fulfilled my requisite duty of sarcastically mentioning the Great Comic-Con Stabbing of 2010, I must apologize (and express my sympathies) to everyone involved, and clumsily segue to the the Resident Evil panel itself, which indelibly reaffirmed my belief that no one involved in the making of these films has any understanding as to what makes the videogames so effective.

Methinks I'm particularly bummed by this because the videogames - especially the first two installments - provide such rich source material for a mysterious and deeply terrifying series of cold and calculated horror films. But the chance for the likes of Ti West to steer this franchise has come and gone, and though I must accept that Paul W.S. Anderson's films have found a rather large audience, I can't help but be baffled as to why. Having said that - and with all due respect to those who enjoy these flicks - here are my pure, unadulterated thoughts from the panel that broke Comic-con.