August is obviously the worst. As if the rampant humidity and the complete lack of hockey weren't enough to convince you, there's also... (please hold as I Google "Worst things to have ever happened in August...") the perennially tragic anniversary of August 8th, the day on which Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman were divorced in 2001. But August's most damning flaw is obviously its horrific dearth of worthy new films to see. Multiplexes become ghost towns -- Jennifer Aniston films play to tumbleweeds as we huddle around our computers, basking in the warm glow of trailers for the Oscar bait and festival sensations that await us in the fall.
But there is hope in the darkness. There are bastions of potential quality out there in the dreck, films imploring you to grab a 293-gallon Coke and venture forth to the cinema. Here are 5 movies to get excited about before The American comes out and shit gets real.
5.) Step Up 3D (8/6)
I haven't seen either of this hallowed trilogy's first two films, but methinks If I clench real hard I might be able to keep up with the latest installment. My dismissive snark notwithstanding, I must admit that this film is something of an event for me, as it's the first film this year I'll be seeing because it's in 3-D, rather than in spite of that fact. If the uncomfortably awesome trailer is any indication, director / choreographer Jon Chu has made tremendously visceral use of the technology, fiddling with depth of field to bring dance battles more evocative of the Shaw Brothers than Strictly Ballroom into the third dimension. A fair price to pay for 90 minutes of Flo Rida.