In honor of Friday's release of The Expendables, we're taking a week-long look at the action films of Sir Sylvester Stallone -- which is to say we're skipping his comedies. Out of respect.
Setting: Present-day 1986. Los Angeles.
Our hero: Strong, silent but surprisingly witty Marion "Cobra" Cobretti, a cop who works for the "zombie squad," the police's unofficial (or hell – maybe it's official) name for the guys who deal with the dregs of society, unlike other cops who only do desk work or get cats out of trees.
Our villain/s: The Night Slasher, played by Brian Thompson, who was perfectly cast as a crazy homicidal killer. Although he says almost nothing in the film (except for a surprisingly persuasive campaign speech to Cobra during the climax), he's apparently the leader of an equally crazy, homicidal cult. And just for good measure, there's also a bleeding-heart desk-jockey (ironically played by former Dirty Harry villain Andrew Robinson) who devotes the majority of his screen time explaining why Cobra should have used more subtle measures than machine guns, breakneck car chases and one-liner showdowns to apprehend bad guys. (What a pussy.)