In honor of Friday's release of The Expendables, we're taking a week-long look at the action films of Sir Sylvester Stallone -- which is to say we're skipping his comedies. Out of respect.
Setting: The Rocky Mountains, which I can only assume is an inside joke on Stallone's part.
Our hero: The disgraced Gabe Walker, who (infamously) failed to prevent a young woman's death, but he's back after nine months to pick up the pieces, only to show up just as a bunch of horrific villains have hit the scene. (To the film's credit, Michael Rooker is on hand as co-hero Hal Tucker.)
Our villain/s: Hoo boy, plenty: we have a big Australian one, a rather unpleasant black guy, a vicious lady pilot, a constantly shrieking treasury agency turned bad, and John Lithgow, oozing his way through an intermittent (yet evil) British accent.
The stakes: The lives of Gabe, Hal, an annoying ex-girlfriend, an even more annoying pair of surfboarder dudes, and a really nice old helicopter pilot who deserved better. (Oh, and the several million dollars the bad guys are after.) Also Gabe's redemption from the (ultimately pointless but really shocking) prologue.