You know, I keep meaning to read 'The Hobbit.' People tell me that I should, and I pick it up occasionally to make that old college try, but other things keep me from it, like writing my dissertation about Eric Rohmer. Well, and those new episodes of 'Mad Men.' Okay, and arguing on message boards about plot inconsistencies in the 'Saw' movies. Plus, it's 320 pages long, and I'm sort of busy a lot of the time! (Okay, not really.)

Fortunately, 'The Hobbit' has now been condensed for you and me all 'Reader's Digest'-like, by the Brothers Grim and Grimy, who previously compacted Dante's 'Inferno' and 'Call of Cthulu' in a similar fashion.

It's a great primer for the in-the-works Peter Jackson film version of the book, giving you all the basics about the little dude who finds a magic ring, tries to pass himself off as a ninja from the future, fights giant spiders, and pisses off a dragon when he tries to steal a "totally pimp cup." And that's just the first half!

Really, I can't believe I never read this. It sounds awesome! The little dude abides. Watch the video after the jump.
The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey Movie Poster
The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey
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Bilbo Baggins (Martin Freeman) lives a simple life with his fellow hobbits in the shire, until the wizard... Read More

categories Movies, Cinematical