The only thing more annoying than all the non-stop coochy-coo romance of Valentine's Day is the endless deluge of complaints from those cleverly cynical folks who just realized that, hey, Valentine's Day is sponsored by Hallmark Cards ... but since I'm single these days, I actually side with the cynical grouches. So in celebration of all things unlovable and anti-romantic, we offer this: Five Flicks to Avoid If You Actually Like Valentine's Day. (Yep, just like in the headline.)

'War of the Roses' -- Still the finest anti-romantic comedy of the modern era, Danny De Vito's twisted masterpiece reunites the three leads from 'Romancing the Stone' and 'The Jewel of the Nile,' but replaces adventure tropes and witty quips with venomous nastiness and overt unpleasantries. Plus it's funny as hell, provided you're watching the flick in the proper (cynical) state of mind.
categories Columns, Cinematical