Get your pitchforks ready -- those wackos in Hollyweird are trying to brainwash your children into thinking terrible evil things. Using their agents of propaganda, they are attempting to corrupt an entire generation of impressionable viewers with false information, in an effort to lead this country's future into a perilous decline. Parents take heed: to protect your children, you must not take them to see 'The Muppets'; it may appear to be a holiday comedy for the whole family, an attempt to carry on the message and spirit of its creator Jim Henson, but that is mere deception. It is actually a weapon designed to trick your children into thinking that the oil industry -- and by proxy capitalism and America -- is evil. You can thank the good people at Fox Business Report for alerting us all to their dastardly motivation.