Have you ever wanted to smell like a sweating green mass of anger? If so, your dreams have finally come true.

The fragrance company JADS International has just created four new scents based on the superheros of "The Avengers." JADs doesn't actually call out the actual characters each cologne is named for, however, you can probably figure them out yourself.

For those wanting an extra dose of apple pie, there's "Patriot," "A cologne that pays homage to the confident, stand-up-to-bullies, hard working average Joe in every man." It has "fresh notes of green lime and white pepper ... with dry oak wood, sandalwood and tequila accords." Tequila? How decidedly un-American.

The Tony Stark-wannabes will be most interested in "Mark VII," "A resolutely sophisticated cologne forged from the sea, the sun, the earth, and a touch of devil-may-care whimsy." It combines "mandarin, neroli, nasturtium and jasmine layered with light patchouli."

The "Smash" is "a woody aquatic cologne evoking both a serene sense of timeless freedom and a single-minded, unbridled passion for life." This hulking (get it?) scent has "Yuzu, bergamot and tarragon ... [with] water lily and nutmeg ... enriched with Indian sandalwood, vetiver, musk and sharp cedar."

Last but not least is the otherworldly "Worthy" cologne. It's a "woody citrus cologne [with] a unique, meaningful combination of bergamot, frozen ginger and wheatgrass blended with a hint of fresh natural grapefruit and layered deeply with aromatic cypress." Thor hammer not included.

Although the designs for each of the bottles feature their respective hero, there is a disclaimer underneath stating, "Design subject to change. Pending licensor approval," leading us to believe Marvel might not have sanctioned these smells from S.H.I.E.L.D. (Then again, the Marvel logo is at the bottom of the page, so, maybe?) JADS has yet to release scents for Nick Fury or Hawkeye (may we suggest the names of "Furious" and "Arrow").

Unfortunately, there's no directions about how to use the cologne, though you should probably just spray all four on at the same time and scream "Assemble" as loud as you can. Marvel's "The Avengers" hits theaters May 4.

[via io9 and JADS]
Marvel's the Avengers Movie Poster
Marvel's the Avengers
Based on 43 critics

When Thor's evil brother, Loki (Tom Hiddleston), gains access to the unlimited power of the energy cube... Read More

categories Movies