This weekend, Denzel Washington (Virtuosity) shows a young punk, played by
Q: How many safe houses are in Safe House?
Q: Why is a safe house needed in Safe House?
A: Denzel Washington plays Tobin Frost, a former CIA agent who has been "off the grid" for the last nine or ten years (depending on which character that you get your exposition from). He turns himself in at the American embassy in Cape Town, South Africa. From there, Tobin Frost is taken to a safe house for interrogating.
Q: Why would Tobin Frost turn himself in?
A: During the opening scenes, Frost is ambushed by gunmen. His only option is to turn himself in because the gunmen cannot follow him into the embassy.
Q: Is Tobin Frost a dangerous man?
A: When enough characters scream, "This is Tobin Frost!" or surprisingly state, "That's Tobin Frost," there's a general sense that Tobin Frost presents some sort of threat.
Q: What threat does Tobin Frost present?
A: The first is his knowledge of CIA intelligence that he's been allegedly sharing with terrorists, which includes a mysterious computer chip.
Q: Is there a second threat?
A: Only the threat of continuing to erase our memories of a time when Denzel Washington appeared in worthwhile movies.
Q: Didn't Safe House sing "Don't Dream it's Over"?
A: No. You're thinking of Crowded House.
Q: Wait, what does Safe House have to do with The Phantom Menace? I thought that was the only movie you were allowed to write about this week.
A: (Shhh! They'll hear you!)
Q: Who is in charge of the safe house?
A: That would be Matt Weston, played by Ryan Reynolds (Blade: Trinity).
Q: Is Weston a no-nonsense expert on interrogations?
A: Again, Matt Weston is played by Ryan Reynolds.
Q: So, then, what is Matt Weston's demeanor?
A: Weston is a low-level CIA agent who spends most of his nights throwing a tennis ball against the walls of his safe house. Unfortunately, the team that brings Frost to the safe house is ambushed and killed, leaving Weston solely responsible for Frost.
Q: Wait, didn't Safe House sing "Electric Blue?"
A: No, you're thinking of Icehouse.
Q: How many times so far have you typed "Tobin Bell" instead of "Tobin Frost"?
A: Four times.
Q: In what year is Ryan Reynolds' Safe House character, Matt Weston, born?
Q: In what year is Ryan Reynolds' Green Lantern character, Hal Jordan, born?
Q: In what year is Ryan Reynolds born?
A: 1976. (Yes, we are still one 1982-born Ryan Reynolds character away from a trend.)
Q: What's the best thing about Safe House?
A: Joel Kinnaman.
Q: What did you find odd about Safe House?
A: There are at least five scenes in which characters get shot when you're not expecting it to happen. By the end of the movie, any time there was a quiet moment, I was expecting a gunshot to sound off at any moment. And quite a few times, I was correct. It happened so often that it started to feel like an SNL sketch. [Ed. note: That is a good idea for an SNL sketch.]
Q: Did you enjoy Safe House?
A: I actually did enjoy Safe House -- though I did so in a "no reasonable person should be enjoying this, yet I am" kind of way. To be honest, between all of the heads exploding from gunfire and Denzel being Denzel, I found it entertaining if absurd.
Q: If you're going to be blurbed in this weekend's commercials for Safe House, what quote do you hope is used?
A: "No reasonable person should be enjoying this, yet I am." Mike Ryan, Moviefone
Q: Did the person sitting next to you during the Safe House screening briefly fall asleep during Safe House?
A: Yes. But, to be fair, she was sick.
Q: How many times is the term "safe house" used in Safe House?
A: I lost count around 13.
Q: Is the term "safe housekeeper" used in Safe House?
Q: Will the ending of Safe House shock or surprise me?
A: If you have yet to reach the 8th grade, it might do both.
Q: With every movie, how much closer is Denzel Washington to becoming the Jay Pharoah parody of himself?
A: Twenty-six percent closer. Each time.
Mike Ryan is the senior writer for Moviefone. He has written for Wired Magazine, VanityFair.com, GQ.com, New York Magazine and Movieline. He likes Star Wars a lot. You can contact Mike Ryan directly on Twitter