By now, you've probably seen the trailer for The Vow. It may very well be a decent movie. After all, Rachel McAdams has a solid track record of picking good flicks, and the subject matter is actually pretty interesting -- it's inspired by a true story about a woman who woke up after a car accident and didn't remember her husband.

But here's the rub: the trailer is so unbelievably cutesy and irritating, I'll never see it. Think I'm overreacting? OK, I probably am. I know these sappy romantic tear-jerkers appeal to a large audience (especially around Valentine's Day), but I also know I wasn't the only one groaning in the theater when The Vow trailer played. Let's take a closer look at what exactly made this trailer so annoying.

1. It opens with a super-cheesy hipster wedding in an art gallery. If the vows weren't enough to make you roll your eyes ("I promise to live within the warmth of your heart"), then their goofy friend's ridiculous top hat surely was.

2. He asks her to move in with him with blueberries spelled out next to a pancake. Who does that? Do people actually like that? She was obviously confused. Don't people just talk anymore? Why does everything have to be such a big production!?

3. Channing Tatum is clearly wearing a women's cable-knit sweater in the aforementioned pancake scene. Is this supposed to make him seem more sensitive? Cuz it just looks goofy.

4. At one point, Rachel McAdams is sitting on a table going through photos. Are there no chairs available?

5. The music. 'Nuff said.

6. This many tears in a trailer is a big red flag. Is the movie itself going to be one big tearjerker? Will everyone be bawling? If the theater is going to be full of sappy romantics blubbering the whole time, count me out.

7. There are too many cheesy lines in the trailer to list here, but here are a few to illustrate my point: "I hope that one day I can love the way that you love me!" (With tears, of course.) And: "How do you look at the girl you love and let yourself walk away?" The worst offender? When the trailer asks, "Can a once-in-a-lifetime love find a second chance?" I mean, come on. Who talks like that?

8. Scott Speedman gets punched in the face. Nobody wants to see that.

9. Rachel McAdams sports a series of really bad haircuts. Is this supposed to dial down her beauty a smidge to make her more relatable?

10. This was clearly concocted for a Valentine's Day release. It essentially says so right in the trailer. Not that there's anything wrong with that. But it could explain why the trailer is so over-the-top. That's what the studios think we want on Valentine's Day -- lovey-dovey mush.

To each his own, I suppose.

categories Movies