Sylvester Stallone and Arnold Schwarzenegger may be known for their action films, but at this point in their career, someone should just give them a multi-camera sitcom.
Last night in San Diego, the two stars made their way to Comic-Con to introduce their new film, "Escape Plan." Starring Stallone as Ray Breslin, a man who escapes from prisons in order to... honestly, the plot doesn't matter all that much. All you need to know is that the movie features Stallone and Ah-nuld throwing punches, firing machine guns, and yelling a ton (aka the stuff people pay to see in a Schwarz-allone™ movie). Watch out, because these are two sexagenarians you don't want to mess with.
Before the film got underway, Stallone and Schwarzenegger took some time to talk about the movie -- though they spent most of their time sassing one another, much to the crowd's delight. Below is a transcript of their brief but hilarious conversation.
"Escape Plan" hits theaters on October 18.
Director: "I had the opportunity to come here to Hollywood and work with some interesting newcomers in the business and I brought them here for you today -- they need to come out in the limelight more. Mr. Sylvester Stallone..."
Stallone: "Arnold Schwarzenegger and Rocky!"
Schwarzenegger: "Only our mother can tell us apart."
Stallone: "Why are you dressed like this? You're looking so dapper and intellectual. You look like Mark Twain. You look like somebody who should be, I don't know, shooting a horse."
Schwarzenegger: "He looks like he's dressed by FEMA."
Stallone: "That's what I ... You're right. Now, any questions?"
Schwarzenegger: "First of all, let's just say that we are very appreciative that all of you have been showing up and have shown such great enthusiasm ...
Stallone: "I am not. I am not at all."
Schwarzenegger: "...because we are here..."
Stallone: "Speak for yourself."
Schwarzenegger: "We ... OK, I am here at Comic-Con because I love the Comic-Con fans. The media out there said 'Why do you like to come here' and I said 'Because we have the most passionate and the most energetic fans you can have anywhere in the world, right here at Comic-Con.' We love your enthusiasm and your passion for the movie industry, and our movies, we are only at the place we are in our stardom because of fans like you. So we just want to say thank you to all of you."
Stallone: "Now, I believe the opposite, but that's OK. I am here because of Lionsgate and Summit and studios that make these great films. And Arnold is absolutely right. You are fantastic film lovers. I actually thought that they should now make this the actual Hollywood, Hollywoodiego. I am serious. Because you guys are real passionate about movies, the way Hollywood people used to be, but things have changed. So thank god you guys are bringing it back together and keeping us around, because we love what we do. And god knows I have been wanting to fight this dude for how long? At least two or three months."
Schwarzenegger: "Since we were one."
Stallone: "Yes, we were born to fight each other. Anyway, I think this film is wonderful, this director is incredible, we all got along, there were no issues, which is very rare. And if you don't like this movie, I am going to personally come up there and beat your brains."
Schwarzenegger: "It was Sly who asked me to be in, and [unintelligible]."
Stallone: "[unintelligible]. It's like Desi and Lucy over here. I am Lucy. When you win Mr. Olympia 8,000 times you're Desi. Anyway, thank you. Keep punching."
Schwarzenegger: "I'll be back!"
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