Last night on "Conan," after doing an odd "make it rain" gesture while blowing kisses to the audience, awkwardly mentioning that time he fell into a coma and trying to look excited about the fact that he was on the show to promote his horrible-looking FX series "Partners," Martin Lawrence did talk about something of note -- the possibility of a "Bad Boys III."

When O'Brien brought up the third film in the "Bad Boys" saga (I like to call it a "saga"), Lawrence seemed genuinely optimistic. "I just talked to Jerry Bruckheimer yesterday and he said it's real, they're working on the script. They're getting close to this, and it all looks good."

Well, it's good that Lawrence is so positive, because the logistical impossibilities of a "Bad Boys III" do a lot to dampen our spirits. First there's the fact that the salaries demanded by Lawrence and his costar, Will Smith are cost-prohibitively expensive, which is to say nothing of the fact that getting Smith to commit to just about anything is a giant pain-in-the-ass. Plus there are the astronomical fees that producer Bruckheimer and Bay collect. Also, the last movie, 2003's "Bad Boys II," grossed just $138 million domestically, on a budget of $130 million. (It did less than that overseas, where American action movies tend to flourish.) As Vulture points out, the last movement on "Bad Boys III" was when they hired Peter Craig, who wrote "The Town." That was back in 2009.

This isn't to say that we wouldn't love to see a "Bad Boys III." The first "Bad Boys," released back in 1995, was Bay's first movie and introduced his patented rococo visual sensibilities to the masses in a big, big way. (Also, for a movie that only cost $19 million, it looks gorgeous.) It also proved the viability of Will Smith as a big time movie star, back when he was still thought of as a clean-cut rapper and sitcom staple. The sequel, a movie that is even more grandiose and violent (so, so violent) than the first is also a nifty meta-textual commentary on the bloated nature of sequels. Whether or not Bay intended this is beyond me. But it works.

So yes, we want the trilogy to come to a brain-matter-encased end. Hopefully soon. Oh, and if it does happen, Lawrence has the perfect role for Conan: "You could play a crooked cop on crack."

categories Movies