Now that David Clarke finally knows that Emily Thorne is actually Amanda, the time has come for them to stare tragically at each other and bond over their mutual love for murdering people. That's right, this week's episode of "Revenge" was basically a double infinity sized bonding session between Emily and her dad, and let's just say there's more to this dude than terrible facial hair and equally terrible judgement. Why didn't David step in and help Emily if he knew she was alive? And where has he really been hiding all these years? Read our recap to find out!

Emily Gets More Answers, Victoria Gets More Crazy
Last week, Victoria up and electrocuted herself on a power line (happens to the best of us), and this week she spent most of her time passed out in a hospital bed. We'll remain in panic mode until Victoria's back to trolling Northampton's finest strip clubs, but her stint in the hospital gives David and Emily a much-needed opportunity to catch up. The problem? Even when semi-dead, Victoria is a master manipulator, and manages to interrupt a conversation between David and Emily by unplugging herself from her heart monitor. Like, she's legit insane in the membrane. However, before Victoria's "brush with death" brings David rushing to her side like a faithful lap dog, he mentions that he didn't actually snap the photos of Amanda that were found in his safety deposit box. The plot thickens!

Despite Victoria's best efforts to keep him on a leash, David finally finds more time to chat with Emily (who's been lurking around the hospital for lord knows how long), and they have yet another cagey conversation about feelings and murder (in other words, the usual). This time, Emily reveals that she knows David killed Conrad, and that she covered his tracks by planting the murder weapon on Charlotte's stalker. Sadly, David doesn't seem thrilled that Emily's so obsessed with fighting his battles, insists that Victoria's the bomb dot com, and isn't even mad at his paramour when she admits to knowing Emily's real identity! What does she have over him?

Jack Nabs A Promotion, Might Join Cast of Criminal Minds (In His Dreams)
Now that Jack's discovered the random stalker whom Charlotte accidentally-on-purpose killed, he's more into sleuthing than ever. So much so that it's almost as though he thinks he's on CSI Northampton. Jack gets the full story about this John Doe from Nolan before he can point fingers at Emily, but he's thrown for a major loop when a FBI agent asks him to join Conrad's murder case. Naturally, Agent Kate Taylor is way smarter than Jack and immediately finds out that the John Doe had previously tried to run down David Clarke. She and PoPo Porter head down to the hospital to interview David, and their chat offers David an opportunity to flashback to the moon-tattooed man in question taking the pictures of Amanda that Emily found hidden at the bank. Also, does anyone want to place bets that Jack un-ironically ends all his tweets with #boysinblue? He's so passionate, bless his heart.

In other news, Nolan seems to spend most of his time tweeting, drinking, and feeling sorry for himself –– and to make matters worse, Margaux LeMarchal threatens even more bad press unless he hacks into Louise's police file. He initially says no, but after finding a bunch of creepy photos of Victoria on Louise's iPad, he barters her a hack job for some positive publicity. Is this the beginning of a beautiful new friendship based on lies and passive aggression? Probably.

Daniel and Louise Get Wet and Wild, We Remain Terrified
Speaking of Louise, she's definitely still crazy –– and not in a lovable Victoria Grayson way. In an "OMG she might come out of the TV and kill us" way. This week, the voices in Louise's head (aka her mom) convince her to get pregnant with Daniel's love child, and she puts her plan into motion by conning Daniel into getting naked in the shower and then attempting to seduce him. Fortunately, Daniel refrains from rebounding with "Revenge's" resident psychopath, and instead heads over to Emily's for a surprisingly honest conversation about her daddy issues. Daniel even convinces Emily to try harder with David, and after their chat she wanders back to the hospital only to find him being kidnapped. Sigh, it's like the poor guy can't catch a break. Emily quickly saves her dad's life, which impresses him enough to inspire some real talk: turns out David was broken out of prison by a mysterious man who asked him to "do terrible things," which he refused –– until Amanda's life was threatened. He only managed to make his escape when he heard of Amanda's death, and the rest is history!

Of course Emily's is pleased to learn about her dad's past, but David begs her to stop interfering in his life –– which she happily agrees to. Not! Instead, she turns off her security system and tortures one of her dad's would-be kidnappers in a terrifying chamber. Do you, Emily!

Oh, and it should probably be noted that Jack and Kate are already dating. And also, his police partner Ben is suuuuuper jealous about it. With that in mind, let's get to this week's questions!

1. Who was holding David hostage, and what "terrible things" was he forced to do? Other than grow that beard.

2. Does Jack no longer have feelings for Emily because he seemed pretty chummy with his FBI partner-in-solving-crime....

3. David says there's more to Victoria than meets the eye –– are we missing something? Last time we checked, she sold David out, but is there a part of her past that "Revenge" fans don't know about?

4. Will Margaux join Team Revenge? She's a major power player, and she and Nolan are already working together....

5. When will Emily get a love interest? She's gone the entire season boyfriend-free (probably because her fiance was murdered in cold blood), and we're wondering who she'll rebound with. So far, no one is looking all that great.