If you're like us and value your sleep, you probably nodded off into your Ambien dreamland before the party started on post-prime time TV. Don't worry; we've got you covered. Here's the best of what happened last night on late night.

Joaquin Phoenix was on "Late Show with David Letterman" Monday night, sharing a really odd story - not that there's any other kind with him - about starting yoga, and getting tangled up in some positions, like "Harness of the Hog." He and Dave took the story to the middle of the stage so Joaquin could demonstrate. But it turns out he started dating his yoga instructor and they recently got engaged. This guy. Who knows what to think with him. Remember when Joaquin was on this show a while back and Dave said it's a shame he couldn't be there that night? Good times! Joaquin talked about that weird appearance and how it was part of an attempt at an art project. That project hurt his career a bit, since people had trouble taking him seriously. Cristela Alonzo was also on Dave's show, talking about how she used to live in an abandoned diner. She and her family were squatters in South Texas for a good part of her childhood. Aaron Paul was on "Jimmy Kimmel Live" - smelling of sandalwood, apparently. Aaron used to have pet snakes, so he talked about that and why he got rid of them. The poor snakes. Hopefully no one actually makes that a trend. On a happier note, it was Lauren's birthday - Paul's wife - so they did a big surprise b-day thing for her, with Jimmy sharing some interesting gifts. They said it was a surprise, but she had a mic pack on, so it couldn't have been that shocking. But Paul's love for his wife is so adorable. And she did seem pretty surprised by Jeffrey Ross dressed as Diana Ross. Aaron also talked about his South African safari with Lauren. He's living a good life! Krysten Ritter was on JKL as well, and she also smelled good because, as she put it, "I had Aaron on me." She saw him backstage and they hugged (he was her old boyfriend on "Breaking Bad"), so his cologne was still on her. Jimmy said there's also a huge cloud of marijuana in the building. Krysten's birthday is next week and she's going to be promoting "Big Eyes" but also taking a pottery class with friends. Martin Freeman was on "Late Night" with Seth Meyers talking about how he spent about 2.5 years in New Zealand making "The Hobbit" movies. He talked about the mix of real mountains and real set and digital things like dragons and acting opposite tennis balls. He won't miss wearing the hobbit feet.
Eliza Coupe was on "Late Night" too (love her sexy glasses) talking about how she was a hostess for an after party for SNL, so she met Seth before. She always wanted to be on SNL. Her dad tried to get her an SNL audition when she was 11. She was also an ice hockey player growing up in New Hampshire, and she was pretty good. Carrie Fisher was on "The Late Late Show" with Craig Ferguson, and she brought Craig some penis gifts from her recent trip to Myanmar. They show close-ups of the gifts. Wonderful stuff. This is why Craig's show is the best. Carrie also talked about life after "Star Wars" and how every day she gets comments from people, including one from a guy who didn't recognize her since he had only seen the "Star Wars" movies with Harrison Ford. Facepalm! Watch the second video to see what makes Carrie stomp off the set in mock anger. Eddie Izzard was also on "The Late Late Show" saying he didn't have anything to plug, he was just there to congratulate Craig and say he had done well and he'll be missed. True! Stay with us, Craig! Evangeline Lilly was on "Conan" and she looked amazing - no more costume to promote her children's book. Conan O'Brien told her he felt like she was communicating directly to him when she made the decision to have red hair in "The Hobbit." She likes red hair on women ... which offended Conan a bit, although he added that he is a bit feminine. Evangeline picked her own ears in the movie, and she went for the largest ones. Apparently Evangeline has a bit of an ear fetish in real life. She plays with her ears a lot when she's tired, nervous, or stressed out. She played with Andy Richter's ears and gushed that they were so "juicy and big." Conan got so jealous. Must-watch. Evangeline also talked about "Ant Man" and Conan asked if she was into comics growing up. She was into the Archie comics, especially Betty and Veronica and their boobs. "I was obsessed with the shape of their breasts." So she loves red-haired women and boobs.
Chris Rock and Carrie Underwood were both on "The Tonight Show" with Jimmy Fallon. Chris talked about how he was a professional DJ and was offered a rap deal. He also offered Jimmy some advice on raising two kids. It's hard to get past the idea that Chris is 49 years old. He looks like he's still in his 20s. Carrie talked about how she has a new fitness line and a baby on the way. Carrie sings to the baby, and hopes he likes it.