Breaking news: "Pretty Little Liars" has returned to our lives, and now we can get back to the important task of wondering why the Rosewood Police Force is so terrible at protecting teenage girls from the middle-aged men who stalk them. Check out Moviefone's recap below and find out if the liars managed to get out of A's lair alive!

Give A Warm Welcome To Pretty Little Liar Number 6

Last time we left the liars, they were locked in a pen after finding out that A is some dude named Charles with a fetish for torturing teens. Just another day in Rosewood! This week, the liars spend most of their time contemplating drinking their own pee while living #ThatPenLyfe, until they wander inside Charles' lair and accidentally get asphyxiated by some gas, as ya do. The ladies wake up naked in a morgue, and then Mona makes a huge mistake: she stages a mini rebellion against A and gets put in The Hole. Because yes, of course Charles is the kind of guy to own a cavernous hole.

And speaking of caverns, there's a mysterious blonde trapped in a cell next to the liars –– and judging from her wall of chalk markings she's been there for years. Good God, someone save small town Pennsylvania from itself.

A Month Later: Ali Is Out of Jail!

Flash-forward a month and not much has changed in Rosewood. Sure, Ali's out of jail and Ezra's growing facial hair (why), but the police department is still its good ol' completely inept self. This useless group of armed and totally un-dangerous cops decide it's probably a good idea to use Ali to lure Andrew Campbell (the prime suspect in the liars' kidnapping), however Ali outsmarts them and teams up with Ezra, Caleb and Toby to find her friends. So basically, a bunch of teens (plus one teen-obsessed "author" [cough, Ezra]) outswit an entire police force. Just saying.

The plan is simple: Ali wanders through the woods while Caleb and Ezra follow her from a distance, and she's eventually led to A's lair. What could go wrong? Other than literally everything.

While Ali struts around the backwoods, the liars realize that A is prepping for her arrival –– which means Mona's as good as dead. Fortunately, Spencer discovers that Charles' last name is DiLaurentis, and she hatches a plan to break into his top-secret vault in the hopes of gaining a little leverage. Once inside, the liars find all kinds of creepy things from their captor's life –– including home movies of Ali as a little girl with two older brothers. That's right, two. Looks like Jason has a completely deranged and sadistic top-secret twin who has a creepy obsession with his sister's BFFs!

The Liars Reunite With The Boyfriends

Don't worry, guys, the liars casually set themselves on fire this week –– but it turned out for the best. Thanks to Spencer deciding she should probably burn all of Charles' belongings to get his attention, this hoodie-clad dude is forced to pull the fire alarm –– giving the liars a great opportunity to escape. And yes, they rescue Mona from her hole.

Meanwhile, Ali, Ezra and Caleb are wandering around the woods because it's literally all they do, and Ezra's like "HARK, I see smoke" (in so many words). This former stalker opens a random door and the liars come pouring out –– straight into their boyfriends arms! What a happy ending. Of course, we can't forget about the other random that A had trapped in his lair –– turns out her name is Sarah Harvey, and she went missing around the same time Ali did!

Burning Questions:
But seriously, who is Charles DiLaurentis and why is he such a lunatic?
What is Sarah Harvey going to reveal about Charles once she's had, like, twenty years of PTSD therapy?
Are the liars going to be mentally stable after being trapped in a lair for a month?
How does Andrew Campbell feature in A's plan? What's the deal with this guy?