Deadpool is no Superman, but Ryan Reynolds continues to be the king of meta marketing, and he's also handy for an insightful analysis of Ernest Hemingway's "The Old Man and the Sea."



The first "Deadpool 2" teaser played before "Logan" in theaters, and a version was posted to Reynolds's own YouTube page.



Here's what he tweeted:






The YouTube video synopsis has its own meta reference to the "Sisterhood" of Reynolds's wife, Blake Lively, as well as "Murder She Wrote": "Wade and the other girls from the Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants plan a trip to Cabot Cove."



Watch the teaser:In theaters, many fans who didn't expect to see Deadpool were thrilled when Wade pulled his hood down, and continued to be thrilled through "St. Elmo's Fire (Man in Motion)," "Zip it, Stan Lee!" the "Firefly" reference, the nod to "True Romance," and the super-fast fine print at the end.



What was in the fine print? Wade Wilson's Cliffs Notes take on "The Old Man and the Sea," ending with a nod to Red Lobster.



Here's the full text, transcribed by Comicbook.com but showcased in its originally format:




The Old Man and the Sea is the story of a fight between an

elderly, accomplished fisherman, Santiago, and a really big

fish. Like... HUGE. The story opens with Santiago suffering

eighty-four days without catching a fish because he's the

unluckiest son-of-a-bitch on planet earth. Honestly, if you

were in a boat for eighty-four days, it'd be hard to NOT catch

a fish... even by accident. Santiago was so unlucky that his

apprentice, Manolin, was forbidden by his Ma and Pa to fish

with him. But as The Fresh Prince used to say, 'Parents Just

Don't Understand'. So the boy visits Santiago's shack anyway.

Ignoring the inherent risks of unsupervised playtime with an

elderly man who talks to himself, Manolin helps out, moving

Santiago's fishing gear, making food and talking about

baseball. Especially Joe DiMaggio; who used to bump fuzzies

with Marilyn Monroe. The next day, Santiago tells Manolin that

he's going way out into the Gulf Stream. WAY OUT north of

Cuba. Lady luck is returning! On the eighty-fifth day of his

crappy luck, Santiago drops his lines, and by noon, gets a bite

from what feels like a big ass fish. He's sure it's a winner. He

fights and fights and fights but can't pull the monster in.

Santiago's leaky old boat is pulled by the fish for two days and

nights as he holds on for dear life. Even though he's bloody

and beat, Santiago begins to appreciate this mighty

adversary. He starts calling him "brother" or maybe even,

"bro." It's sort of a love story if you really think about it. And

like most romantic comedies, the reader pictures a delightful

outfit changing montage, followed by the inevitable

interspecies wedding. But on the third day, Santiago is

freakin' EXHAUSTED, and decides he just wants the fish to do

what he says and not always swim wherever it wants. So he

stabs it. With a f*cking harpoon. It's a mess. Super gross.

Blood everywhere. Because, like many men his age, Santiago

has difficulty expressing his emotions and fears with words -

instead giving in to base desires - and imposing his

gigantically terrible positions on any given subject through

unblinking violence. Typical. Anyway, he straps the marlin to

the side of his skiff and hits the road home, ready to act like

a total show off to everyone and probably gouge people on the

price. But guess what? Pretty soon sharks begin to attack the

bleeding marlin's carcass, because we all know, life is a

tragic opera and just when you think you've finally found

something good and true, sharks come along and rip it all to

f*cking shreds while dry-humping your dignity with their

crazy-weird shark dicks. Sure, Santiago tries killing a few of

them, but drops his harpoon because his hands are just as old

as he is. By nighttime, the sharks have pretty much eaten the

entire marlin. Only a bleach-white skeleton remains, silently

mocking him in the murky darkness. Santiago realizes he's

still unlucky. REALLY unlucky. (Duh!) He calls the sharks

"dream killers". Which isn't really all that fair. I mean, the

sharks were just doing their job and the marlin... Jesus,

don't even get me started on the marlin! It was just hanging out one

day, minding its own business, maybe thinking about ways it

could be a better provider for its family and WHAM! Harpoon

in the brain. Who's the "dream killer" now, f*ckface? The

hypocrisy is pretty much boundless at this point. Eventually

Santiago makes it ashore. Leaving the bones of the marlin and

the boat, he hobbles to his shack. He makes it home and

crashes, like I said - he's super tired. The next morning a

group of fishermen gather around Santiago's boat. One

measures the skeleton and, holy sh*t-shingles! It's over 18

feet! The head of the fish is given to Pedrico (strange that this

is the first mention of him) and the other fishermen ask

Manolin to send their glad tidings to the old man. Manolin

brings Santiago newspapers and coffee when he wakes and

they decide to fish together again. Many years later, there's

a Red Lobster Restaurant in nearly every city in America,

offering a casual dining experience and convenient parking.




Phew! A-plus, Mr. Wilson. Well done for pointing out the hypocrisy and standing up for the sharks and the innocent marlin who probably just wanted to provide for its family.



"Deadpool 2" is expected in theaters in 2018. Or, as they put it in the trailer, "Coming Not Soon Enough."



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