It doesn't matter if you loved, hated, never watched, never cared about, or never even heard of "Fifty Shades Darker": You will laugh out loud at least once at Screen Junkies's' Honest Trailer for it. The "Fifty Shades of Grey" sequel may not have been that sexy, but damn is it funny to watch "another horrifying reminder that your aunt probably gets off to this."
Voice-over: "You marveled at the first movie's total lack of sex appeal. Now the steamiest story you can buy at Target is back, and it's cranking the naughty down from room temp to ice cold, in this two hour movie that only has about 10 minutes of actual sex in it. Where they scale back the bondage and amp up the normal boring couple stuff."
Anastasia Steele (Dakota Johnson): "You want a vanilla relationship?'"
Voice-over: "No! That is not why I wore an overcoat to the theater. The big voice guy doesn't want vanilla. He wants some rocky road!"
That's just the start of the video, and it gets better from there, mocking Ana for her lack of emotion and only personality trait -- confusion about what should and should not be put in her butt -- and calling out "walking red flag" Christian Grey (Jamie Dornan) for his creepy mommy issues:
Maybe there is only a "Fifty Fifty" chance they won't get through the next one, but "Fifty Shades Freed" is coming out February 9, 2018, and you know fans will want to see another Honest Trailer for it. Meanwhile, "Fifty Shades Darker" just came out on DVD and Blu-ray, in case you want to see what all of the room temp fuss is about.
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When a wounded Christian Grey (Jamie Dornan) tries to entice a cautious Anastasia Steele (Dakota Johnson) back into his life, she demands a new arrangement before she will give him another chance. As the two begin to build trust and find stability, shadowy figures from Christian's past start to circle them, determined to destroy their hopes for a future together. Read More