The Texas Chainsaw Massacre - Struggle with a difficult decision in crisis
Andy:
Erin, I'm dead. Please finish it. You can do it.
Erin:
I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't.
Andy:
Here's a knife. Erin, do it. Do it!
Erin:
I can't do it.
Andy:
Do it! Do it! Do it!
Erin:
Please forgive me... Please forgive me.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Texas Chainsaw Massacre - Morbid Humor in a Disturbing Situation
Sheriff Hoyt:
I bet she's real unhappy, real sorry that you're getting fuckin her blood all over your goddamn arm. You know, back when I was a young patrolman, I used to love wrapping up these young honies.
Andy:
Yeah, I bet you did.
Sheriff Hoyt:
Yeah, cop me a little bit of a feel every now and then, you know. Oh, look at that. She's kind of wet down there. What you boys been doing with this dead body anyway?
Andy:
Can we please finish this?
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The Texas Chainsaw Massacre - Unexpected Encounters on a Journey
Pepper:
What are the odds of you guys passing through "El Paso", just as I started to hitch? I mean, it's like synchronicity.
Pepper: [frantically.; Pepper turns to Andy and kisses each other.]
It's like I.S.D. It's like this shit does not just happen.
Erin:
Oh, baby, They got to play "free bird.
Kemper:
Oh, they have to. We paid a fortune for these tickets.
Andy:
Hey yo Kemp, can you do something about the A.C. Back here? I'm melting.
Kemper:
No.
Kemper:
But if you or Pepper get too hot, You could always take your clothes off.
Andy:
You'd like that, wouldn't you?
Erin: [turns to Pepper.]
You are such a perv. Don't listen to him, Pepper.
Pepper:
Why not? I think he's funny.
Erin: [turns to Kemper.; turns back to Pepper.]
She's only known you for 19 hours. I've lived with him for 3 years. And trust me, He is not funny!
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The Texas Chainsaw Massacre - Unforeseen Connections and Harsh Realities
Pepper:
Can you believe? We didn't even know each other yesterday.
Andy:
I know. It's just amazing.
Morgan: [Pepper and Andy keeps kissing.]
You know what's even more amazing? Hello? Hello? What are you, like at a pause or half-time?
Morgan:
Okay, The fact that Americans each day are infected with a sexually-transmitted disease, and two-thirds of them are just about your age.
Kemper:
Hey, Morgan. How are you the expert on the dumbest shit?
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Cloverfield - Beauty and Charm Beyond Reach
Jason Hawkins:
Beth McIntire is from a whole nother planet, bro. I mean, she's beautiful, she's charming. As for you, I mean, I love you and all but let's face it; you're kind of a douche-bag.
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Cloverfield - Value Relationships Over the World
Jason Hawkins: [To Rob, immediately prior to the monster's arrival]
You gotta learn to say, Forget the world, and hold on to the people you love most.
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She's Out of My League - Misunderstandings About Relationships and Breakups
Kirk:
Devon, why would you tell her that I broke up with Molly?
Devon:
Cause I thought you had.
Kirk:
No. We're just in a sticky wicket.
Stainer:
A "sticky wicket"?
Kirk:
Yeah. A rough patch. Rough pumpkins.
Stainer:
And how many times have you called her?
Kirk:
Five.
Stainer:
And how many times have you really called her?
Kirk:
Seventeen.
Stainer:
It's done. Tao of Love.
Kirk:
What?
Stainer:
That's what I call it. The Tao of Love. You being with Molly defies, like, forces of nature. It's over man.
Kirk:
No. It's not over. Frankly, I'm sick of all you guys pretending like you know where I'm coming from. None of you know what I'm going through right now.
Stainer:
Tina Jordan does.
Kirk:
Who the hell is Tina Jordan?
Stainer:
She was my Molly.
Kirk:
You never mentioned her.
Stainer:
I didn't want to jinx it. But she was perfect. Yeah, perfect. Freckled shoulders. Anyway, two months into it, bam, she dumps me. I shoulda seen it coming too, cause she was a ten. Like a hard ten. I was a six, possibly a seven. Either way, I couldn't cover the spread. The universe spoke and I was depressed for months.
Kirk:
That's what that was? You said you had mono.
Stainer:
Yeah. Mono of the heart.
Jack:
Oh, my God, how's your vagina?
Stainer:
Shut up, Jack!
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She's Out of My League - Comparing Jack to Yoda in a humorous way
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She's Out of My League - Belief in Possibility and Relationships
Jack:
Dude, forget Stainer. All right? I think you could get her back.
Stainer:
OK, then why don't you look Kirk in the eyes and tell him that you believe he's gonna end up with Molly. Just tell him that.
Jack:
Fine. Kirky, I truly believe that... I mean, I think anything is possible.
Kirk:
Anything is possible"?
Devon:
Come on! Like there's a million examples of guys like Kirky ending up with a beautiful woman.
Stainer:
Such as?
Devon: [[w:Lyle Lovett|Lyle Lovett; [Julia Roberts]
] and ].
Jack: [[Denise Richards]
Right. Richie Sambora and Heather Locklear. Then he went on to ].
Stainer:
All recording artists. Normal rules don't apply to those guys. Kirk, as soon as you record an album and it goes platinum, you can push your meat into any human being you want.
Jack: [[King Kong (2005 film)|King Kong; [Naomi Watts]
OK, OK, OK. ] and ].
Stainer:
They never consummated. Totally platonic relationship.
Jack:
Stephen Hawking and his lady nurse.
Stainer:
He's the master of space and time! He knows about black holes and shit.
Devon: [[Mick Jagger]
What about the President of France and that girl that went out with ]?
Stainer:
He knows about wine. And he has a French accent. He could probably French kiss like a motherfucker.
Devon:
Wait a second... The Beast.
Stainer:
Who?
Devon: [[Beauty and the Beast (1991 film)|Beauty and the Beast]
The Beast from ]. Beast won Beauty's love and he wasn't rich or a recording artist. Though, he did have an amazing voice.
Stainer:
OK, Devon, that's a cartoon. But yes, that's one. One out of a million.
Devon:
You know what, Stainer? All it takes is one. Man, you... You guys sit here and talk about relationships but the truth is, I'm the only one here that's married. Yeah, and I'm tired of you guys busting my nuggets cause I've only been with one girl. It's cause she was the right girl! That's why I married her! So, Kirky, let me tell you something, if Molly is the right girl, that's all that matters. You just, you stand up. You stand up. You get in front of her. You get right in front of her and you say, "Hey, I am Kirk Kettner, and I am right here, standing in front of you... right here. Here I am." Something like that.
Stainer:
Power of love.
Jack:
Very... perfect.
Kirk:
Beautiful.
Devon:
Thank you. I was in debate, junior/senior year. I don't know if you guys remember that.
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She's Out of My League - Debating Kirk's Attractiveness Among Friends
Stainer:
I love Kirky, but let's face it, the guy's a five.
Devon:
Stainer, that's just a dirty pool. He's at least a six.
Stainer:
A six? Alright you go ahead and pump rainbows into his asshole. I'm just being honest.
Jack:
Come on, cut him some slack. Look. Half a point because he's a nice guy. Right? And he's funny, so that's half a point each. That brings him to six. Devon's right.
Stainer:
But he drives a shitbox, deduct a point. Take a point off.
Kirk:
Wait, what's wrong with my Neon?
Stainer:
Oh, I don't know. Except the people who make that car don't even like it. So, we're back to a five.
Jack:
Five.
Stainer:
Meanwhile, this Molly, is a hard ten. And that five point disparity, that's a chasm. Chasm? Chasm. You can't jump more than two points.
Kirk:
Where do you get this shit?
Stainer:
Trust me, Kirk. I can't even get a ten.
Jack: [chuckles]
Oh, not even you, huh?
Stainer:
I'm a six, okay?
Jack:
Bullshit, you're a six. Then what am I?
Stainer:
You're an eight.
Jack:
Okay, you're a six then.
Stainer:
But I get a one point bump because I'm in a band.
Kirk:
Stainer, you're in a Hall and Oates cover band. I'm pretty sure that's a deducation.
Stainer:
Adult Education is a tribute band. So that puts me back at seven. On a good day, the best I can bag is a nine.
Kirk:
What about your crappy car?
Stainer:
Artist's exemption. I'm expected to have a shitty car.
Jack:
Is there an artist exemption for talking out your ass?
Stainer:
Yeah, it's called being a rock star, Jack! Look it up in the dictionary. It's there. It's right next to "fuck you"!
Devon:
I think this system's ridiculous. All right? If someone really loves you, then you are a ten.
Jack: [[Hannah Montana]
My God. What are you, ]? Because nothing you are saying right now is of any help to Kirk.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
She's Out of My League - A Conversation About Time and Relationships
Kirk: [pulls out earring box; to his friends]
Marnie, I know that we agreed to take some time off and I think that was a great idea. My God. Gave us both a chance to experiment, if you will, and meet all sorts of new and interesting, different people. You did quite a bit more experimenting than I did. A lot more experimenting. You are like a scientist. Beakers... But obviously I'm cool with that, because the thing is, I think, we're stronger as a result. But here's the thing, Marnie... it's been two years. That's a lot of time off. And I'm ready for some time on. I miss you. I miss us. I got something for you. What do you think?
Stainer:
Aww, man. It's depressing. I mean, it's really depressing. It's horrible to watch you like this.
Devon: [opens box]
I think it's really pretty. How's it work? Oh...
Jack:
What the hell is that?
Kirk:
I got it for Valentine's Day, right before she broke up with me. Stainer, I know you don't like her very much.
Stainer:
No, no. I hate her. In fact, the day that you broke up with her, I marked that down in my calender as a day of rejoicement. I'm going to celebrate it with a cake with her face on it, but instead of eating it, we smash it. Okay? You can do a lot better. You deserve a lot better, Kirky.
Kirk:
I thank you, but I've seen what's out there and I don't think it gets any better.
Jack:
When have you been out there? When have you left the apartment?
Kirk:
I went out on four different dates, with three girls and that guy. I don't know what his intentions were, but it's fine. We had a great conversation. I think he was just looking for a friend.
Jack:
Do you know what your problem is, Kirk?
Kirk:
What?
Jack:
You're a moodle.
Kirk:
A moodle?
Jack:
A man poodle. Girls, they want to take you out on a walk. They want to feed you, they want to cuddle you, but make no mistake, no girl wants to do the moodle.
Stainer:
No one would ever fuck a moodle.
Jack:
No, he's right. I'm telling you, if you want to get Marnie back, she has got to believe that from the second she broke up with you, your life has been a non-stop snatch parade.
Devon:
Or... you could just be who you are. Why can't that be good enough?
Stainer: [holding earring box]
Why don't you just put your fucking balls in here?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.