22 Kids Movies That Really Messed Up Your Childhood
by Jesse Schedeen
Animals dying? Fur coats made of adorable puppies? Peel-off faces? These and even crazier things happen in some of our favorite “kids” movies. Some of you might still be in therapy because you watched some of these effed-up movies as a kid.
'Pinocchio' (1940)
Long before the disobedient kids on Willy Wonka's tour met with unfortunate endings, a whole generation was scarred by Pinocchio and his human friends turned into donkeys and sold into a lifetime of slavery -- all because they unwisely sampled a few vices like cigarettes. Harsh!
'Dumbo' (1941)
We're not sure what's worse with this early Disney classic -- the psychedelic freak-out that is the "Elephants on Parade" sequence, or the trauma of seeing young Dumbo ripped away from his mother. And that's not even counting those ridiculously racist crows...
'Willy Wonka & The Chocolate Factory' (1971)
For 95% of its runtime, the original "Willy Wonka" is a perfectly charming and very family friendly adventure. But then that terrifying tunnel sequence comes along, and Mr. Wonka suddenly morphs from kindly candyman to dispenser of nightmare fuel.
'Watership Down' (1978)
"Watership Down" scarred an entire generation of young minds in the late '70s. If you want your children to watch scenes of realistically-animated rabbits being killed in a horrifically gruesome fashion, then by all means pop in this DVD.
'The Dark Crystal' (1982)
We love puppets, but they tend to be a little creepy-looking. Then there are the horrific monstrosities on display in "The Dark Crystal." When even your hero characters look like demonic hellspawn, maybe you've taken your fantasy movie a little too far.
'The Secret of NIMH' (1982)
Outside of "Ratatouille," it's pretty rare to see rats cast as the heroes in animated movies. But "The Secret of NIMH" did a bang-up job of showcasing just how horrific life can be for innocent rodents in a world full of killer farm machinery and twisted laboratories.
'Something Wicked This Way Comes' (1983)
Look at that image. In what way, shape, or form does this grisly horror movie qualify as being kid appropriate?
'Cloak & Dagger' (1984)
So let's see if we can get this straight. This movie involves innocent people being shot and killed over a video game cartridge, and also armed government agents trying to kill a the kid from "E.T."? That's not a kid's movie; that's a glimpse into a fascist dystopia.
'Gremlins' (1984)
For a family-oriented movie with a heavy Christmas motif, "Gremlins" sure can be pretty dark and violent when it sets its mind to it. Along with "Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom," this film was responsible for sparking the creation of the PG-13 rating.
'The Neverending Story ' (1984)
We're still not over the traumatic death of Artex the horse in the Swamp of Sadness. The creepy Gmork wolf did nothing to help us sleep at night, either. And can you imagine those large-boobed Sphinx statues being in a kids' movie today?
'The Black Cauldron' (1985)
Disney's animation department was in pretty rough shape in the '80s, and apparently their strategy here was to follow the example of dark, disturbing fantasy movies like "The Secret of NIMH." Needless to say, Disney fanatics weren't pleased.
'The Goonies' (1985)
We'd be screaming our lungs out too if we were stuck in a freezer with a stiff. No amount of ice cream is going to make up for that kind of childhood trauma!
'Pee-wee's Big Adventure' (1985)
Perhaps it's a good thing that trucker "Large Marge" transformed into whatever the hell that eye-popping monster was: It probably discouraged many kids from ever hitchhiking.
'Labyrinth' (1986)
Jim Henson's terrifying puppets struck again in this dark fantasy adventure. One of them even urinated in a fountain for some reason. Couple that with a middle-aged David Bowie gyrating at and obsessing over a 15-year-old, and you have one very NSFW kids movie.
'Who Framed Roger Rabbit' (1988)
Jessica Rabbit's ultra-sexy dance number was (let's face it) just a tad too steamy for the youngsters. Not to mention the revelation of evil, Toon-torturing villain Judge Doom (Christopher Lloyd) as the scariest Toon of them all!
'All Dogs Go to Heaven' (1989)
Sometimes we think Don Bluth's great mission in life is to traumatize young moviegoers. Here, Bluth forced children to confront their own mortality -- and that of their pets -- as he explored the saga of a heroic dog who just couldn't seem to stay dead. Yep, that sentence just happened.
'The Witches' (1990)
If children weren't terrified by the prospect of witches hiding among them before this Roald Dahl adaptation hit theaters, they certainly were after seeing these unsightly crones turn a heroic young boy into a mouse. The bright side? At least the movie changed the book's bleak and depressing ending.
'The Hunchback of Notre Dame' (1996)
Disney flirted with darkness once again in this dark adaptation of Victor Hugo's classic novel. The results were great, story-wise, but we can't say younger viewers took a shine to the twisted, lecherous villain Frollo.
'101 Dalmatians' (1996)
In hindsight, it's pretty bizarre that audiences ever wanted to see a movie about a woman whose life's ambition is to slaughter dozens of puppies and stitch a coat out of their skins. But between this remake, its 2000 sequel, and the 1961 original, apparently puppy slaughter is a hot topic.
'Spirited Away' (2001)
A lot of strange things happen in this Oscar-winning anime classic, but the most disturbing is when our 10-year-old heroine sees her parents transformed into pigs before her eyes.
'Coraline' (2009)
Fact: Moving sucks when you're a kid. But at least we never moved to a remote house that contained a portal to another world where an evil doppelganger of our mother kidnaps children and sews buttons over their eye sockets.
15. 'Miss Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children' (2016)
After a string of underwhelming releases, Burton had the good sense to tackle something very much in his wheelhouse for this 2016 release. Sort of an X-Men movie by way of YA fantasy, "Miss Peregrine's" mostly makes up for its undercooked story with a strong sense of visual style.
