Zombies on Broadway - Miscommunication About Research Focus on Blight
Jerry Miles:
You see, we're doing some research work on zombies, and he said you could help us.
Prof. Paul Renault:
The fool! I know nothing about zombies. I came here to study a strange coconut blight.
Mike Streger:
Coconut blight? He said it was a banana blight.
Prof. Paul Renault:
Oh, Joseph is color blind.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Zombies on Broadway - Searching for Dr. Renault on San Sebastian
Prof. Hopkins:
His name was Dr. Renault, Dr. Paul Renault. Over twenty-five years ago, he went to the only place where zombies were known to exist - on the island of San Sebastian, one of the smaller Virgin Islands, but I haven't heard from him since.
Mike Streger:
Oh, we don't want to disturb him, do we Jerry?
Prof. Hopkins:
I don't know if he's alive or dead, but if he's alive, he can tell you what you want to know. Go to San Sebastian - Paul can help you.
Jerry Miles:
What's this Paul like... if he's alive?
Prof. Hopkins:
A great scientist. Yes, some people say he is crazy. I don't think he is crazy... well, ah, not very crazy, anyway.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World - Confusion Over Locked Basement Situation
Dispatcher:
Attention, all units. The Crumps are locked in a hardware store basement. Shall I let them out?
Culpeper:
How the hell could they get themselves locked in a basement?! We've got to let them out!
Police Sergeant:
That ain't fair.
Culpeper:
It ain't fair? What ain't fair?
Police Sergeant:
They got themselves in there, they ought to be able to get themselves out. Uhh. After all, if you help them, you aren't being fair to the others.
Culpeper:
But the moment anybody gets to where they're going, we're going to pick them up. So what difference does it make who gets there first?
Police Sergeant:
Ah. It's a race, ain't it? Why do you want to help that dentist for? Me, I've been pullin all the while for that other guy Pike, with the furniture van. The rules ought to be the same for everybody, otherwise it just ain't fair.
Culpeper: [over the speaker; to Police Sergeant]
Ummm. Central to F7: No. We'll leave them where they are. See what happens. Watch all the exits, but render no assistance. Over. Are you happy?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.