Irving Bacon Quotes

Tom How about a lift, Mister?

Driver Can't you see that sticker?

Tom Sure, I see it. But a good guy don't pay no attention to what some heel makes him stick on his truck.

Driver Well, scrunch down on the running board til we get around the bend.

John Hey, stop worryin', Colonel, fifty bucks ain't gonna ruin me.

The Colonel I've seen plenty of fellas start out with fifty bucks and wind up with a bank account!

Beany Hey, what's wrong with a bank account, anyway?

The Colonel And let me tell you, Long John, when you become a guy with a bank account, they gotcha! Yes sir, they gotcha! When they got ya, you've got no more chance than a road rabbit.

Beany Who's got him?

The Colonel The helots!

Beany What's a helot?

The Colonel You've ever been broke, sonny?

Beany Sure, mostly often.

The Colonel All right. You're walking along, not a nickel in your jeans, your free as the wind, nobody bothers ya. Hundreds of people pass you by in every line of business: shoes, hats, automobiles, radios, everything, and there all nice lovable people and they lets you alone, is that right? Then you get a hold of some dough and what happens, all those nice sweet lovable people become helots, a lotta heels. They begin to creep up on ya, trying to sell ya something: they get long claws and they get a stranglehold on ya, and you squirm and you duck and you holler and you try to push them away but you haven't got the chance. They gots ya. First thing ya know you own things, a car for instance, now your whole life is messed up with alot more stuff: you get license fees and number plates and gas and oil and taxes and insurance and identification cards and letters and bills and flat tires and dents and traffic tickets and motorcycle cops and tickets and courtrooms and lawers and fines and... a million and one other things. What happens? You're not the free and happy guy you used to be. You need to have money to pay for all those things, so you go after what the other fellas got. There you are, you're a helot yourself.