Dick - Misunderstanding a White House Role
Betsy Jobs:
Are you, like, the President's Dog Walker?
John Dean:
I'm John Dean. Chief White House Counsel.
Betsy Jobs:
Oh, That's too bad.
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Half Baked - Negotiating the Price of a Record
Brian:
Lady, you want seven bucks for a used Kenny Loggins record? I'll give you five.
Woman:
Uh-uh. He autographed it himself...
Brian:
Okay, I'll give you four.
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Half Baked - Cultural Identity and Substance Use Humor
Brian:
I'll pretend I'm Jamaican man! Yeah!
Thurgood:
You have smoked yourself retarded!
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Half Baked - Embracing a Carefree Attitude Towards Ideas
Brian:
I just wanna say that that was a great idea, Thurgood. I mean how do you come up with...
Scarface:
Just smoke it, yo.
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Half Baked - Cannabis Use and Personal Loss Discussion
Brian:
You smoke?
Mary Jane:
No my grandmother died from lung cancer.
Brian:
That's all the more reason to toke up man! It'll ease the pain!
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Half Baked - Struggles and Humor in Everyday Life
Nasty Nate:
So the next time I come for you, I'm gonna want some cocktail...FRUIT!
Sir-Smoke-Alot:
I want to talk to Samson! Fly me to the moon like that bitch Alice Kramden! Cause it's hard being black and gifted. Sometimes I just wanna throw it all down and get lifted!
Sir-Smoke-Alot:
I'm impotent, man! Get away from me, bitch!
Kenny:
Ya hear that? I'm somebody's bitch!
Brian:
Get some...sour cream and onion chips, with some dip, man. Some beef jerkey, some peanut butter. Get some Hagen-Dagz ice-cream bars. A whole lotta of chocolate. Gotta have chocolate, man. Some popcorn, pink popcorn. GRAHAM CRACKERS!!! Graham crackers with the marshmallows. Little marshmallows with little chocolate bars and we'll make some s'mores man. Celery, grape jelly, Captain Crunch with the little crunch berries, pizzas, we need two big pizzas, man, everything on em, water, a whole lotta water and.......Funyuns.
Brian:
Don't worry. Don't worry. l'm not gonna do what everyone thinks l'm gonna do: Flip out, man! All l wanna know is: who's comin with me? Who's comin', man? Who's comin with me?
Enhancement Smoker:
You ever see the back of a twenty dollar bill... on weed? Oh, there's some weird shit in there, man. There's a dude sittin in the bushes, man, does he have a gun? I dunno, man, I dunno! Wha, wha? RED TEAM GO, RED TEAM GO. It's just some weird shit, man!
Sir-Smoke-Alot:
Doctor says I need a back-iotomy!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.