Jiri StanekQuotes

Chris: We go in, fast, we split up, and as soon as we find Liv and this janitor dude, we’re out.

Aaron: Hmm.

Chris: What, Aaron?

Aaron: [[w:Batman|Batman] We just don’t need any more ] bullshit, all right?

Chris: Okay. Thank you. Yeah, I know. It’s only going to make it less safe for everyone else.

Dan: You mean kinda like Liv just did?

Chris: Excuse me?

Aaron: Say what you gotta say.

Bob: Speak up. Now’s the time, Dan. You ain’t gonna say it?

Chris: Do you guys have something in mind?

Bob: Hell, yeah, we do. Everything you telling us not to do, that’s exactly what your dream girl got us up here doing. And now we probably all getting fucked up because of it.

Kathy: Bobby.

Bob: What? Am I lying? No, I’m not. It’s the truth.

Chris: Fine. I’ll just go myself.

Bob: [to Kathy; to Chris; to Kathy] Oh, whatever, Chris. When are you getting it through your thick-ass skull, huh? Kissing that ass ain’t gonna get you that ass, playboy. It’ll more than likely get you killed, and ain’t nobody, except for you, baby, worth none of this bullshit you got us up here doing. So you know what? I’m out this bitch. Baby, let’s go.

Aaron: No, Chris! Chris!

Bob: Oh, shit!

Kathy: Bobby!

Bob: God damn!

Chris: Everybody okay?

Aaron: Yeah.

Chris: Nice of you guys to join us.

Liv: [enters the dining area] Wait, what are you guys doing here?

Chris: Oh, my God. Liv, you’re alive.

Liv: I thought we all agreed you were supposed to stay outside and help us find a way out.

Chris: Yeah, uh…

Liv: Now, how the hell are we supposed to get out of here?

Chris: I tried to keep ’em on the roof, but they wouldn’t listen.

Bob: It’s your fault we were on the roof.

Chris: It’s my fault?

Bob: It was your fault.

Willy Weasel: [singing with other animatronics] We’re all friends. We like to play.

Liv: [walking up to Siren Sara] Guys, guys, it’s happening. It’s happening now. Oh, that’s the nasty bitch that tried to kill me.

Chris: Liv.

Willy Weasel: [singing with other animatronics] Play, play, play every night and day.

Liv: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. What are you doing?

Chris: Hey, what the hell, man?

Liv: What are you… dude!

Willy Weasel: [singing with other animatronics] We’re all Friends. We like to sing.

Chris: Put her down, okay?

Liv: I’m trying to help you, you dumbass! Seriously? I’m trying to help him understand that he’s gonna die in here, but he won’t listen to me.

Willy Weasel: [singing with other animatronics] Sing, sing, sing. It’s a wonderful thing!

Aaron: Wait a second. Wasn’t there eight of them?

Willy Weasel: [singing with other animatronics] We’re all friends. We like to run.

Aaron: Oh, that’s badass.

Jed: [to the Janitor; laughs] You want God to laugh, you tell him your plans.

Tex: [to the Janitor] Howdy there, partner. My name is Tex, same as the state. Got the handle Macadoo. Welcome to Willy’s Wonderland.

Jed: Yeah, he don’t talk much.

Tex: [Janitor looks at the graffiti; The Janitor stares at the "Willy's Wonderland" sign; Tex chuckles; He chuckles] And I respect that. I enjoy a man of few words. Well, business is not what it used to be, but I am fixing to reopen and make Willy’s better than ever. Anyway, enough horseshit. Here’s my offer. You spend the night cleaning Willy’s Wonderland and I will pay to have your car fixed. I go on in tomorrow, you come out of there, and your ride will be ready for you right there. Deal? If not, I got places to be. All right. All right. Let’s go inside.

Jed: [to The Janitor] Good luck, mister.

Tex: [He turns on the T.V.] Watch your step. Check this out.

Willy Weasel: [in a commercial; singing with other animatronics] Hey, kids, it’s Willy the Weasel. Welcome to my wonderland. Come on down and meet the gang. We’ve got Arty the Alligator, Siren Sara, Cammy the Chameleon, Gus Gorilla, Knighty Knight, Ozzie the Ostrich, and Tito the Turtle. It’s your birthday, so let’s party, everyone. It’s your birthday and we want you to have fun. It’s your birthday, so let’s party, everyone.

Tex: [opens the janitor's closet; sighs, turning on the light; presents a Willy's Wonderland shirt; sighs; chuckles] We had some great times. Kids laughing, smiling, eating hot dogs, opening presents. You know the story, right? Well, some of these little bastards start crawling over the characters, they get hurt. A couple of lawsuits later from Mommy Safety Organizations and wham, bam, thank you, ma’am, we’re out of business. Shut us right down. Damn thing always gets jammed. Yeah. This stuff oughta do the trick. Broom, mop, bucket, drain snake, Windex, rags, whatever you need, we got it. Oh, lookee here. Congratulations. You are officially on staff. Well, pal, it’s gonna be dark soon. I’ll be back in the morning with that car of yours dapper and ready to drive or my name is not Tex Macadoo. Help yourself to whatever you can find in the kitchen. It’s on the house. And be sure to take breaks. Always good to pace yourself. That’s it. Good luck.

Willy Weasel: [in a commercial; singing with other animatronics; offscreen, as Carl Hawthorne and Judy Hawthorne are in the hallway, listening for Willy Weasel's growls; offscreen, speaking; offscreen, singing with other animatronics, as Carl and Judy run in the hallway, listening for Willy Weasel's snarls. Willy Weasel growls] Hey, kids! You know what time it is? It's birthday time! It's your birthday, and we want you to have fun. It's your birthday, so let's party everyone. It's your birthday, and we want you to have fun. It's your birthday, so let's party everyone. Okay now, kids. Clap your hands like there's no tomorrow. We welcome you to Willy's, where everyone's your friend.

Judy: [She runs into the dining area. Willy Weasel fights her while little Liv watches from the janitor's closet] Carl!

Willy Weasel: [in a commercial, singing with other animatronics; speaking; singing with other animatronics] It's your birthday, and we want you to have fun. It's your birthday, so let's party everyone. It's your birthday, and we want you to have fun. It's your birthday, so let's party everyone. Okay now, kids. Clap your hands like there's no tomorrow. We welcome you to Willy's, where everyone's your friend.

Willy Weasel: [At the end of the movie, popping out of a gray screen as a cartoon version of himself, to the audience; offscreen, singing with other animatronics] And remember, friends, the party never ends! At Willy's Wonderland!

Willy Weasel: [singing with other animatronics; Their voices distort] Look at all these naughty birthday boys and birthday girls. I think it’s time for them to go nightie night. It’s your birthday and we want you to have fun. It’s your birthday, so let’s kill everyone...

Willy Weasel: [singing with other animatronics; speaking; singing with other animatronics] We’re All Friends. We Like to Play. Play, play, play every night and day. We’re All Friends. We Like to Sing. Sing, sing, sing; it’s a wonderful thing! We’re All Friends. We Like to Run. Run, run, run to the beat of the drum. We’re All Friends. We Like to Dance. Dance, dance, dance like there’s ants in our pants. Have you been to my Super Happy Fun Room yet? Well, what are you waiting for? The Super Happy Fun Room is super happy fun. Join us in the Fun Room, where you’ll be number one. Popcorn, cake, and hot dogs, soda and candy too. The Super Happy Fun Room.

Willy Weasel: [in a commercial; singing with other animatronics; speaking; singing with other animatronics; speaking; singing with other animatronics; speaking; singing with other animatronics; speaking] Hey, kids! You know what time it is? It's birthday time! It's your birthday, and we want you to have fun. It's your birthday, so let's party everyone. It's your birthday, and we want you to have fun. It's your birthday, so let's party everyone. Okay now, kids. Clap your hands like there's no tomorrow. We welcome you to Willy's, where everyone's your friend. That's right. Here at Willy's Wonderland, the good times never end. Birthday fun for everyone, how old are you today? Everyone at Willy's is hoping you will stay. Forever! It's birthday time, it's birthday time, it's birthday time. Let's cheer at Willy's Wonderland! Proudly serving families since 1984.