John C. ReillyQuotes

Sam: [''after Dewey accidentally barges in a room filled with smoke and groupies''] Get outta here, Dewey!

Dewey Cox: What are y'all doin in here?

Sam: We're smoking reefer and you don't want no part of this shit.

Dewey Cox: You're smoking *reefers*?

Sam: Yeah, course we are; can't you smell it?

Dewey Cox: [somberly] No, Sam. I can't.

Girl Groupie: [''takes a hit off a joint''] Come on, Dewey! Join the party!

Sam: No, Dewey, you don't want this. Get outta here!

Dewey Cox: You know what, I don't want no hangover. I can't get no hangover.

Sam: It doesn't give you a hangover!

Dewey Cox: Wha-I get addicted to it or something?

Sam: It's not habit-forming!

Dewey Cox: Oh, okay... well, I don't know... I don't want to overdose on it.

Sam: You can't OD on it!

Dewey Cox: It's not gonna make me wanna have sex, is it?

Sam: It makes sex even better!

Dewey Cox: Sounds kind of expensive.

Sam: It's the cheapest drug there is.

Dewey Cox: [at a loss and out of excuses] Hmm.

Sam: You don't want it!

Dewey Cox: I think I kinda want it.

Sam: Okay, but just this once. Come on in.

Dewey Cox: [''singing''] In my dreams, you're blowing me... some kisses.

Darlene: [''singing''] That's one of my favorite things to do.

Maharishi: Only through meditation can we begin to understand our role...

Paul McCartney: [''eyes closed, waving hands''] We're nothing but...grains of sand.

Dewey Cox: That was freakin transcendental, Paul McCartney. Don't you agree, John Lennon?

John Lennon: [''glances at camera''; [w:Imagine (song)|''imagine''] Yes, Dewey Cox. With meditation there's no limit to what we can......].

Dewey Cox: What do you think, George Harrison, of the Beatles?

George Harrison: Well, you know, when you're speaking of transcendentalism, it's like, you know, is it enlightenment? Where do you go? What sort of path do you take? And I just think we're all just sort of drifting about and when you begin to wonder about it, it's as if it doesn't exist in the first place, but then of course, it does. So there to say, I think it's not really more of answer. It's more of a question.

Ringo Starr: [''flashes peace sign''] And as Ringo Starr, I'm not so interested in meditation. I just like to have fun.

Dewey Cox: [''laughs''] I like the little one.

George Harrison: It's so dark in this tent, y'know, it reminds me of when we, the Beatles, the four Beatles, us...

Paul McCartney: From Liverpool.

John Lennon: We are from Liverpool.

George Harrison: ...used to play those dark clubs in Hamburg. You remember that, Paul?

Paul McCartney: [carefully] Of course I do, I booked em. I'm the leader of the Beatles.

Dewey Cox: But I have to say, I like your stuff. It's pretty good, and most of your records I really enjoy.

Paul McCartney: [[w:Hard Day's Night(album)|"Hard Day's Night"] Well, we're big fans of your records too. We like to think that ] is our "Guilty As Charged".

John Lennon: Great record. Great record.

Theo: Well, we're real big fans of y'all.

Sam: Huge fans.

Dave: [[w:the Monkees|the Monkees] You guys are almost as good as ]. You guys are great.

Ringo Starr: [[w:LSD|LSD] I think I might adjourn to another dimension, take some ]. You care to join me?

Sam: Let's do that.

George Harrison: Care to join us for some LSD, Dewey? It's good for you.

Paul McCartney: Built by scientists, it is.

Ringo Starr: Lysergic.

Dewey Cox: [''points at wedding ring''] Gotta check with headquarters.

John Lennon: Come on, Dewey Cox, I think you might enjoy it...open up your mind, a new experience, a new level of consciousness, like we did, because we are the Beatles.

Paul McCartney: Why don't you just let him decide. If he wants to take LSD he'll take it. He doesn't have to listen to you, you're not the boss of him.

John Lennon: [sulkily] Don't tell me what to say and what not to say, Paul McCartney.

Paul McCartney: I'm sick of you being so dark when I'm so impish and whimsical! I'm sick of it!

John Lennon: [''hums''] Hey look everyone, I've got a brand new mantra! Paul's a big fat cunt.

George Harrison: [[w:While My Guitar Gently Weeps|while me guitar quietly whimpers...] Don't know why you two don't let me write more songs, y'know, I just sit here, ]

Paul McCartney: Well, you are the quiet one, so why don't you shut the fuck up?

Ringo Starr: [whining; [w:Octopus's Garden|a song about an octopus] I've got ].

John Lennon: Jam it up your ass. You're lucky we still let you play the drums.

Dewey Cox: Wow. Seems like there's a rift happening between the Beatles.

John Lennon: [''to Paul''; [w:When I'm Sixty-Four|when I'm sixty-four] I wonder if your songs will still be shit ].

Dewey Cox: Maybe you don't believe in me at all.

Edith: I do believe in you... I just know you're gonna fail.

John: [on the phone] Thanks for everything, Syd.

Sydney: There's something I need to tell you. It's something you need to know. It's important. I need to tell you. I love you, John. I love you like you were my own son.

John: Thank you, Syd. I love you too.

Sydney: Where did this thing go wrong?

Clementine: Because he thought that he was smart and I was stupid...and I'm not stupid.

Sydney: Well, this is a pretty stupid situation, isn't it?

Clementine: We'll see how fucking stupid I am when we get my money, won't we?

Sydney: You know the first thing they should have taught you at hooker school? You get the money up front.

Clementine: Fuck you.

John: Syd, don't talk to her like that.

Sydney: I'm having a conversation.

John: Don't talk to her like that.

Sydney: Shut the fuck up.

John: I'm warning you, Syd! Don't fucking talk to her like that! She's my wife! We got married this afternoon.

Sydney: [John has called Sydney to his hotel room asking for help. Sydney knocks, John answers from behind the closed door] John?

John: Sid?

Sydney: Yeah. Open up.

John: Everything cool?

Sydney: What? Yeah, everything's cool. Are you alright?

John: I'm fine.

Sydney: You gonna open the door?

John: I said on the phone, you know... it's kinda screwed up.

Sydney: Yeah, so? Open the door, let's see what's going on.

John: You promise you'll help me?

Sydney: [growing exasperated] John, it's cold out here, open the door.

John: Is everything cool?

Sydney: John, open the goddamn door, will ya?

Sydney: Now what's going on, John?

John: Just - shut the door.

Sydney: Why are the lights out?

John: Okay, Sid?

Sydney: Okay I'm not gonna...

John: Let's just leave them off for a second...

Sydney: I'm not gonna stand here with the lights out.

John: Okay now, you promised you'd help me.

Sydney: What is this, John?

John: I'm sorry, Sid.

Sydney: John, what is this? Who is this man?

John: He's uh... he's a hostage.

Sydney: I have a friend in Los Angeles. Someone... maybe someone who can help. I can make a call for you, tell him you're a friend, so on and so forth, and we can work this thing out here. I think if you need help paying for your mother's funeral, we can work it out. I want you to see that my reasons for doing this are not selfish, only this: I'd hope that you would do the same for me.

John: I would. Thank you.

Sydney: [shakes John's hand] It's always good to meet a new friend. I'll see you later.

Michael Longstreet: Penelope, what happened to your sense of humor?

Penelope Longstreet: I don't have a sense of humor, and I don't want one!

Nancy Cowan: [reaching for the scotch bottle] Let's get out of here, Alan. These people are monsters.

Alan Cowan: Stop it, Nancy.

Nancy Cowan: No, no, no. I want to drink some more. I- I wanna get drunk off my ass! This- this bitch throws my bag against the ceiling, nobody lifts a finger. I wanna be blind drunk.

Alan Cowan: You're drunk enough.

Nancy Cowan: How can you let her call our son a criminal? We come over here to work things out with them and they, they insult us, they browbeat us, they lecture us about being good citizens of the world! I am glad our son kicked the shit out of your son and I wipe my ass with your human rights!

Michael Longstreet: Wow! Get a couple of drinks in her and BAM!, her true self comes out.

Michael Longstreet: I was wondering — and I know this is isn't important — but do you know what they were arguing about? Ethan won't say a word.

Nancy Cowan: Ethan wouldn't let Zachary be a part of his gang.

Penelope Longstreet: [horrified] Ethan has a gang?

Alec Cowan: And he called him a snitch.

Penelope Longstreet: [to Michael] Did you know Ethan had a gang?

Michael Longstreet: No, but I'm thrilled to hear it!

Mr. Murray: Why was the door open?

Veeck: It was locked! Someone else must've opened it!

Mr. Murray: The bathroom's pretty much self-explanatory.

Larten Crepsley: You want to stay alive? You haven't been drinking blood yet; I doubt you'd be much good in a fight.

Darren Shan: Well, what if they hurt someone?

Larten Crepsley: People can look out for themselves.

Darren Shan: You've been looking out for me. Why?

Larten Crepsley: Why? Because I'm an idiot, that's why. Only an idiot would spit in the eye of Mr. Tiny. Because he doesn't just kill people; he brings them back, as well. And when I finally die, I plan on staying dead. Life might be meaningless, but death I still have hope for.

Darren Shan: Life isn't meaningless.

Larten Crepsley: Tell me that after two hundred years of it, kid.

Larten Crepsley: Now, are you mentally unfit? Didn't you hear me threaten you at the show?

Steve: I did. It was awesome. You see, I want this. I want you to make me into a vampire. Vampires- they don't take crap from anybody. They live by their own set of rules.

Larten Crepsley: It's true; they do have their own rules. We wrote some of them.

Gavner Purl: And one of those rules is: "Children can't become vampires.

Steve: [Holds out a small cut on his hand] Look- blood!

Larten Crepsley: [Wide-eyed; Crepsley drops the act and gives Steve a deadpan expression.] Blood! You see Gavner! Blood... Look. If you become a vampire, you have to leave your friends, and your family; it's deeply depressing. Trust me. Now get out of here!

Steve: I haven't seen my dad in years. My mom's drunk all the time. I absolutely hate my life! I've never actually said it before, but it's the truth. This is what I was meant for.

Larten Crepsley: What you were meant for? Well, if that's the case, let's test your blood.

Gavner Purl: Larten...

Larten Crepsley: Who sent you here? Your blood tastes of evil. You can never be a vampire.

Steve: [''In disbelief, then anger''] What, I have... bad blood? I'm never gonna forget this. One day, I promise you, I will hunt you down-

Larten Crepsley: And what? Kill me? You know how easily I could kill you. I could do it tonight. I could knock you out, and lay you in front of a bus, and no one would ever know!

Gavner Purl: [''Quietly, looking at Steve''] Calm down; save that stuff for the enemy! He's just an idiot kid! Who should be leaving, right now, while he still can.

Larten Crepsley: [''After Darren enters his room and turns on the light''] Nice room. Some excellent reading material you have here. Thought this was on the internet now.

Larten Crepsley: Now boys, vampires don't exist, but if one did, and he thought someone knew, he might smother them in their sleep.

Larten Crepsley: [''Introducing himself at the show''; ''Awkward silence in the audience''] Thank you ladies and gentlemen. I am so excited to be here in an anonymous small town that used to have character but is now just a bland suburb filled with chain stores and surrounded by slum. It really is a pleasure to be here. And I am SO honoured that bla bla bla and so on and so forth and excetera adnosium.

Cal Naughton, Jr.: [to Ricky, in the hospital; [w:Playgirl|Playgirl] There's somethin I want to get off my chest. It's about that summer, when you went away to community college. I got an offer to do ] Magazine, and I did it. I did a full spread for Playgirl Magazine. I mean spread, man, I pulled my butt apart and stuff...I was totally nude...it was weird. I mean, you probably didn't hear about it cause I went under the name of Mike Honcho. But I just wanted you to know that. If you can hear me, if it got into your brain somehow...that I spread my buttcheeks as Mike Honcho.

Cal Naughton, Jr.: [after Girard breaks Ricky's arm] Hold on a second, Mr. Fancy-Pants Foreigner. You just broke my bro's arm. Now you're bout to get tasered. Say hello to Dr. Watts!

Cal Naughton, Jr.: Now, I've got a message for all the other drivers out there. If you smell a delicious, crispy smell after the race, it's not your tailpipe. It's just a little of Shake...and Bake!

Cal Naughton, Jr.: I like to picture my Jesus in a tuxedo T-shirt. Cause it says like, I wanna be formal but I’m here to party too. I like to party, so I like my Jesus to party.

Frank: You may be directing this movie, Howard. But what you're asking- we can't do it!

Howard: Don't tell me I can't do it; don't tell me it can't be done!

Frank: The gyro forces are too much here. You send these planes into simultaneous barrel rolls they won't make it!

Howard: It's the goddamn climax of the picture Frank, all right, you make it work! Look, decrease the vertical trajectory if you have to, a Le Rhône rotary won't stall at 60 degrees- I've done it!

Advisor: Howard, we need to cut that sequence down, we don't have enough cameras.

Howard: No, no we're not cuttin anything! I'll get those extra cameras, set up for rehearsal's in five!

Noah Dietrich: Mr. Hughes, I'm Noah Dietrich. Your office said I'd find you here.

Howard: Dietrich. You're a man on the come! I read your resume and talked to your references. You know what I'm lookin for?!

Noah: Well as I understand it you're looking for a second-in-command at Hughes Tools; someone to oversee the financial aspects of the business-

Howard: Yeah, I'm lookin for somebody to run it and do a damn good job. Look, there's really only one thing you gotta know! My folks... they're gone now! So it's my money! Now what I choose to do with that money may seem crazy to those sons-a-bitches in Houston — and I'm sure as hell it does — but it all makes good sense to me, you got that?

Noah: Got it.

Howard: Good. Now you made what uh... five thousand dollars a year your last job; I'll pay you ten thousand!

Noah: Guess I'll be working twice as hard!

Howard: You'll be workin four times as hard; I just got you half price, Mr. Dietrich. Welcome aboard. You're my voice now, make em understand that- look, some of those fine folks down there still callin me Junior. You tell em its Mister Hughes now!

Noah: [[Houston] So when do we go to ]?

Howard: [[W:Cholera|Cholera; [W:Typhus|Typhus; [malaria; [W:yellow fever|yellow fever; gestures to the fleet] We don't. ] epidemic in 1913, two thousand dead; whole place is nothin but pestilential swamp. ], ], cholera, ], you name it they got it. You see that, Mr. Dietrich? You are lookin at the largest private air force in the entire world. What do you think of that, now?

Noah: Well... It's your money.

Howard: START EM UP!!!

Noah Dietrich: You just placed the largest order for planes in the history of the damned planet, Howard!

Noah Dietrich: Now I'm glad Jack is feeling so sunny about this, but I've seen the books. Now, I'm not just crying wolf this time; we're in serious trouble! You've gotta make a choice. You want to be bankrupted by the big plane or by the big airline?

Noah Dietrich: Now, it's been a great ride. We've had a hell of a lot of fun. But you're losing $25,000 a day doing this. Every day.

Dirk Diggler: Look, man, all we need is the tapes, alright?

Record Producer: No. You don't get the tapes until you've paid.

Dirk Diggler: In our situation, that doesn't make any fucking sense.

Reed Rothchild: Look, we cannot pay for the tapes unless we take the tapes to the record company and get paid.

Dirk Diggler: Hello? Exactly.

Record Producer: That's not an MP, that's a YP, your problem. Come up with the money, or forget it.

Reed Rothchild: Okay, now you're talking above my head. I don't know all of this industry jargon, YP, MP, whatever. All I know is that I can't get a record contract, we cannot get a record contract unless we take those tapes to the record company. And granted, the tapes themselves are a uh um oh, you own them, all right, but the magic that is on those tapes. That fucking heart and soul that we put onto those tapes, that is ours and you don't own that. Now I need to take that magic and get it over the record company. And they're waiting for us, we were supposed to be there a half hour ago. We look like assholes, man.

Dirk Diggler: Let me explain to him in simple arithmetic. One, two three! Because you don't fuckin get it, Burt! You give us the tapes, we get the record contract, we come back and give you your fuckin money. Have you heard the tapes? Have you even heard them? We're guaranteed a record deal. Our stuff is that good!

Record Producer: Now I get it. Now I understand. You want it to happen...but it's not going to happen. Because it's a Catch-22.

Dirk Diggler: What the fuck does that mean? What is a Catch-22, Burt?

Record Producer: Catch-22, gentlemen. Think about it.

Dirk Diggler: You know what I'm thinking about, man? I'm thinking about kicking some fuckin ass!

Reed Rothchild: Want to hear a poem I wrote? "I love you, you love me. Going down the sugar tree. We'll go down the sugar tree, and see lots of bees. Playing. Playing. But the bees won't sting, because you love me." That's it.

Reed Rothchild: [as Chest Rockwell] Let's go get some of that Saturday night beaver.

Amos Hart: (after singing Mr. Cellophane) Hope I didn't take up too much of your time.

Amos Hart: (Singing) Cellophane, Mr. Cellophane should'a been my name; Mr Cellophane. Cause you can look right through me, walk right by me, and never know I'm there.

Amos Hart: (Singing) A human being's made of more than air? With all that bulk you're bound to see em there! ...Unless that human bein next to you, is unimpressive, undistingushed, you... know... who.

Amos Hart: Boy, what a sap I was!

Gus Sinski: How ya doing, ace?

Billy Chapel: Anybody been on base?

Gus Sinksi: [Shakes his head] No way.

Billy Chapel: [Surprised] Nobody?

Gus Sinksi: This, I ain't seen much of.

Billy Chapel: Me neither.

Gus Sinski: [Billy hangs his head] Chappie...I never have. What's the matter?

Billy Chapel: I don't know if I have anything left.

Gus Sinski: [sees the home plate umpire coming to the mound and waves him off before turning back to Billy] Chappie, you just throw whatever you got. Whatever's left. The boys are all here for you, we'll back you up, we'll be there. Cause Billy...we don't stink right now. We're the best team in baseball, right now, right this minute, because of you. You're the reason. We're not gonna screw that up, we're gonna be awesome for you right now. Just. Throw. Alright?