Back to School - Father and Son Discuss Academic Challenges
Jason Melon: [[Kurt Vonnegut]
Dad, why don't join me on a little reality break, ok? Just cuz you're in love with Dr. Turner, that does NOT mean you're gonna pass her course. Now, you got a major paper comin up on ]. You haven't even read any of the books.
Thornton Melon:
I tried...
Thornton Melon:
I don't understand a word of it.
Jason Melon:
So, how you gonna write the paper then, huh?
Kurt Vonnegut Jr.: [removing his hat]
Hi, I'm Kurt Vonnegut. I'm looking for Thornton Melon.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Back to School - Identifying the Right Person in a Crowd
Player #1:
Hey, Lutz! You know who I am?
Derek: [the football player picks up Derek by his shirt]
Um, let me see. Uh, protruding supra-orbital ridges. Small cranium. Uh, 1300 cc brain. Hmmm. Neanderthal Man!
Player #1: [to Jason]
You. I want you to call his mother. You tell her he's never coming home.
Jason Melon:
Whoah. Hold it, hold it. You sure you even got the right guy? I mean, look how many people got blue hair these days. You know?
Player #1:
Shut up, meat-head!
Thornton Melon:
Hey, take it easy, will ya? I mean, the war's over. Get new parts for your head.
Player #1:
Yeah? Wanna make something of it?
Thornton Melon:
Oh, no, no. I never get physical. I just get upset. And when I get upset...
Thornton Melon: [points at Lou]
HE gets physical.
Lou: [stepping up to the player]
You got a problem?
Player #1:
No. I haven't got a problem.
Lou:
Well, now you do.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Back to School - Class Schedule Conflicts with Personal Appointments
Thornton Melon:
When's our first class?
Jason Melon:
Uh, we got Economics tomorrow at 11 o'clock.
Thornton Melon:
11 o'clock? No good. I got a massage 11 o'clock. Tell em to make it 2 o'clock.
Jason Melon:
No, dad. Uh, you don't get it. They're not gonna re-schedule the classes around your massage.
Thornton Melon:
All right, 11 o'clock, but I'm gonna talk to that Dean. I mean, these classes could be a REAL inconvenience.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Back to School - Dreams of College in High School
Thornton Melon:
Boy, what a great-looking place. When I used to dream about going to college, this is the way I always pictured it.
Jason Melon:
Wait a minute. When did you dream about going to college?
Thornton Melon:
When I used to fall asleep in high school.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Legend of Billie Jean - Embracing Chaos in Uncertain Times
Billie Jean:
Everything's just crazy now.
Lloyd:
Sure it is. That's why you gotta be crazier than they are.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Legend of Billie Jean - Desperation in a Dangerous Situation
Lloyd:
Tapes are not going to be enough.
Billie Jean:
What do you mean?
Lloyd:
I mean they don't have to give you the money, they'll just hunt you down and catch you. Cops don't have to bargain with you, you don't have anything they want. Unless you offer them a trade.
Ophelia:
Whatever is that boy doing?
Putter:
It's a trick, I saw it on TV.
Billie Jean:
What kind of trade?
Lloyd:
I'm going to be your hostage, then they have to reason with you. I'm your guarantee.
Putter:
Like when you buy a car.
Ophelia:
That's a warranty.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Legend of Billie Jean - Discussion on Video Creation and Copies
Billie Jean:
Lloyd, do you make videos?
Lloyd:
All the time.
Billie Jean:
What about copies?
Lloyd:
I can make as many as you want... You are absolutely right!
Ophelia:
What's she talking about?
Lloyd:
She's gonna answer their call!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Legend of Billie Jean - Joan of Arc: Victory and Tragedy
Putter:
Is that a boy or a girl?
Lloyd:
Girl, Joan of Arc. She dressed up as a man and led the French in fighting the English. She heard voices, stop being a peasant', France needs you', the truth needs you'. And she won, she beat the English, but then...
Putter:
Then what?
Lloyd:
The French, burnt her, alive!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Legend of Billie Jean - Perceptions of Billie Jean's Impact
Ophelia: [Billie Jean steps out with her hair cut]
Oh my God! Billie Jean, you look...
Binx:
Famous!
Lloyd:
Saint Joan.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Christine - A Request for Demonstration
Arnie Cunningham:
OK. Show me.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Christine - Parental Responsibility and Its Dark Side
Arnie Cunningham:
Has it ever occurred to you that part of being a parent is trying to kill your kids?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Christine - Defending a Beloved Car's Feelings
Arnie Cunningham:
Whoa, whoa. You better watch what you say about my car. She's really sensitive.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Dressed to Kill - A Conversation About Safety and Companionship
Peter Miller:
Look, Liz, I've got to get home and get to work.
Liz Blake:
Gee, I'm gonna miss having you on my tail. You made me feel kind of safe.
Peter Miller:
Want to come home with me? I'd love the company.
Liz Blake:
Wouldn't Mike mind?
Peter Miller:
Mike's out of town on a business trip. We've got plenty of room.
Liz Blake:
Great. I could sure use the vacation.
Peter Miller:
Good, good. I'll get the check.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.