Udo Kier Quotes

Albin Grau What is the most wondrous thing you ever saw?

Henrik Galeen I once saw Greta Schroeder naked.

Albin Grau That beats ectoplasm!

Max Schreck It made me sad.

Albin Grau Why sad?

Max Schreck Because Dracula had no servants.

Albin Grau I think you missed the point of the book, Count Orlock.

Max Schreck Dracula hasn't had servants in 400 years and then a man comes to his ancestral home, and he must convince him that he... that he is like the man. He has to feed him, when he himself hasn't eaten food in centuries. Can he even remember how to buy bread? How to select cheese and wine? And then he remembers the rest of it. How to prepare a meal, how to make a bed. He remembers his first glory, his armies, his retainers, and what he is reduced to. The loneliest part of the book comes... when the man accidentally sees Dracula setting his table.

Albin Grau Count Orlok, the theatre needs you!

Count Dracula Why did you take me on this hopeless... journey? let me go home and die in peace! what good is it to have tea when I can't find the right vegetable to go with it? I guess I have to eat the rest of the Romanian lettuce... with lemon. Ze oil! Zey put zo much oil here on everyting! But there must be some cheese?

Baron Frankenstein Something went wrong.

Otto But what?

Baron Frankenstein Maybe the mixture of the blood wasn't right. You were the only one who knew about it... But maybe someone got into the laboratory?

Otto But who, Baron?

Baron Frankenstein The children? But they wouldn't do it. My sister. My sister! She always was very jealous of me. Always! But, we failed. That beautiful Serbian female. Everybody would have jumped-everyone! But maybe that head of that... creature wasn't any good? His perfect nose, his perfect nose, he has the perfect brain, he was the king I wanted, and we failed! We have to try it again! Otto, we have to try it again! I am going to prove that we can do it! We waited for so long!

Count Dracula It must be tonight. The girls are beautiful, they look so pure... but how can we get at them?

Count Dracula But they don't have ze food I eat. They only have chicken and vegetables I've never seen before. I am sure they have no wirgin meat.

Count Dracula My body can't take this treatment any more.

Count Dracula It's very useful for a woman to practise home-making.

Count Dracula The ] of these ] is ] me.

Otto And now I get into you, I have to get in. Sh... she... she's ruined.

Baron Frankenstein It's not true, no. It can't be true, what are you doing to me? You destroyed my female, you put your dirty hands on her.

Otto But you went into her, Baron...

Baron Frankenstein Bastard! I studied how to do it, I know how to do it. You don't... With your clumsy hands. Everything... I cannot put it back. All the effort and time I put into it to create her!

Baron Frankenstein All her... inside it's out, what do I have to do? To find a new female, when I took her as a student. You know nothing of medicine, I taught you everything! But that happens when you take people who know nothing about medicine. They are too stupid. It's all your fault, you had pleasure with my wife, didn't you? I watched you, you enjoyed yourself. Poor peasant boy.

Ronald Camp Who is he, a friend?

Melissa Robinson No, this is--this is my date. He's a lawyer.

Camp Well, does he have a name, or should I call him "lawyer"?

Robinson No, this is Ace. Um, Tom Ace.

Ventura Tom Ace. Pleasure to meet you Mr. Camp, and congratulations on all your success. You smell terrific. I was just telling Melissa that one of the first things we learned back at Stanford Law was the modern proliferation of food poisoning claims against wealthy private homeowners. In fact, if one were so inclined, one could make quite a lucrative law practice with little else. How is everyone feeling tonight?

Camp Very, very well, thank you.

Ventura Oh. Look, honey, there's the hors d'oeuvres.