Will Smith
'Bad Boys: Ride or Die' Digital Release Exclusive Interview
Will Smith

Will Smith Quotes

Actor

Memorable Quotes from Will Smith

60 quotes
Finding Your Lost Swing
Bagger Vance I hear you lost your swing. I guess we got to go find it.
Family Dynamics and Team Decisions in Conflict
Richard Williams Are we a team? We're family.
Oracene Brandy Williams So we're a team? You don't think that that was a decision you should have discussed with me? Discussed with Venus? Richard, my faith dictates that I stand by your side but don't mistake my silence for agreement. You do that again and I won't be quiet.
Richard Williams Now don't do that. Don't do that to me.
Oracene Brandy Williams You don't make a fool out of me!
Richard Williams Who made a fool out of you?
Oracene Brandy Williams You made a fool out of me. Don't make a fool out of me.
Richard Williams Ain't nobody made a fool out of you.
Rediscovering Your Authentic Self
Bagger Vance Yep... Inside each and every one of us is one true authentic swing... Something we was born with... Something that's ours and ours alone... Something that can't be taught to you or learned... Something that got to be remembered... Over time the world can, rob us of that swing... It get buried inside us under all our would haves and could haves and should haves... Some folk even forget what their swing was like...
Confrontation in the Store
Store Clerk Hey, freeze bitch!
Mike Lowrey You freeze, bitch!
Store Clerk Oh, shit! I'm fucked.
Mike Lowrey Now back up, put the gun down, and get me ].
[[w:List of chewing gum brands#B|a pack of Tropical Fruit Bubblicious]
Marcus Burnett And some ].
[[w:skittles|Skittles]
Reflections on Survival and Social De-evolution
Robert Neville Day 1001. Uh, we came in close contact with a hive today. Blood tests confirm that I am immune to both the airborne and contact strains. Canines remain immune to airborne strain only. You can't go running into the dark, dummy. Vaccine trials continue, I'm still unable to transfer my immunity to infected hosts. The Krippen Virus is... elegant. Just fishing in the dark, son. Hm, a behavioral note, um, an infected male exposed himself to sunlight today. Now, it's possible decreased brain function or the growing scarcity of food is causing them to... ignore their basic survival instincts. Social de-evolution appears complete. Typical human behavior is now entirely absent.
[to Sam]
A Plea for Acknowledgment and Connection
Robert Neville I promised my friend I would say hello to you today. Hello. Hello. Please say hello to me. Please say hello to me!
[now completely alone, Neville talks to the department store mannequins; crying]
Encouragement for an Open Stance
Richard Williams Open stance!
Unconventional Shopping Choices and Self-Expression
Robert Clayton Dean I was shopping for some lingerie. That's still legal, isn't it?
David Pratt Were you buying that for your wife?
Dean No, I was picking something up for myself, I do a little cross dressing on the weekends. You know, you'd be surprised how a nice pair of edible panties can make a guy feel sexy.
New Neighbors Introduce Themselves Humorously
Mike Lowrey Hello?
Marcus Burnett We're your new neighbors.
Mike Lowrey Don't be alarmed, we're Negros.
Marcus Burnett Naw man, naw. There's too much bass in your voice. That scares white folks. You got to sound like them. We were wondering if we could borrow some brown sugar?
[''In high pitched voice'']
The Consequences of Ignoring Instructions
Agent J Okay! You know how you're on a airplane and the flight attendant asks you to turn your cell-phone off. And you're like, I ain't turning my cell-phone off, that don't have nothing to do with no damn airplane. Well, this is what we get, that's what happens. It gets up there, bounces around on the satellites, then blam! Just turn your damn cell-phone off. Now you're gonna drive off a cliff tonight because your GPS don't work.
[Showing the crowd a crashed spaceship]
Chasing Dreams and Overcoming Doubts
Chris Gardner Don't ever let someone tell you, you can't do something. Not even me. All right?
Christopher All right.
Chris Gardner You got a dream, you got to protect it. People can’t do something themselves, they want to tell you you can’t do it. You want something, go get it. Period.
Confrontation Over Understanding the Truth
Sara My job is to try to find the truth!
Hitch The truth?! You wouldn't know the truth if it kicked you in the head!
Conflict Between Ambition and Parental Responsibility
Richard Williams I'm trying to look out for my kids.
Rick Macci No, you're looking out for yourself. You know, all I hear from you is pressure. Pressure, pressure pressure! But you know what I see? On TV, every day I see the Richard Williams show. A million dollars, number 1! The Greatest of All Time! You don't think that adds pressure?
Richard Williams It adds confidence.
Rick Macci Bullshit! It's about you. Now look, you wanna jerk my chain, go ahead and jerk it but do not do it to those girls.
Richard Williams Rick, all respects, dude, we love you. You're like a member of our family. But you work for us. I wrote this plan.
Rick Macci Plan.
Richard Williams And when I say she's not playing, she is not playing. I call the shots. And I'm sorry if you don't like that.
Rick Macci Richard, screw your frickin plan. You don't know what you're doing. You don't.
A Father's Commitment to Protect His Children
Richard Williams When I was a little boy, I grew up in Shreveport. One day, my father took me to town. He give me this money to pay this White man for something. Back in them days, Black folks weren't allowed to touch White peoples. So I went to give the man this money, and I accidently touched his hand. And he start beating on me. He knocked me down, his friends come over, they all start stomping on me and beating on me. And I look up and I see my father in the crowd, and he took off running. Left me there with these grown men beating on me. Now, I haven't been no great daddy... but I've never done nothing but try to protect you. This next step you about to take, it would... It would be hard for anybody. But for you, you not gonna just be representing you, you gonna be representing every little Black girl on Earth. And you gonna be the one gotta go through that gate. And I just never wanted you to look up... and see your daddy running away.
Marriage and Frustration in a Car
Mike Lowrey Hey-hey, what's this having-a-picnic shit in my car?
Marcus Burnett Please, man. I'm not getting my sex at home. Don't-don't deny me this.
Mike Lowrey What are you talking about? You sleep with a beautiful woman every night.
Marcus Burnett I'm married. That's what married means. It means you sleep together, but you can't get none.
Mike Lowrey Why don't you watch it with all that shit, man?
The Complexity of Surveillance and Oversight
Congressman Sam Albert We knew that we had to monitor our enemies. We've also come to realize that we need to monitor the people who are monitoring them...
[on TV]
Carla Dean Well who's gonna monitor the monitors of the monitors?
Robert Clayton Dean I wouldn't mind doing a little... "monitoring" myself.
Carla Yes, and you've got lots and lots of... "monitoring" to do.
Eric Dean Are you guys talking about sex?
Robert Boy!
[surprised with Carla]
Eric Oh no, it's time for dinner.
Robert Get in there and eat your dinner, no more hanging with Dylan.
Serum 391: Hope in Compound 6
Robert Neville Dr. Robert Neville, September 5th, 2012, GA series, serum 391. Animal trials. Streaming video. GA series results appear typical. Compounds 1, 3, 4, 6, 8, 9, 10, 11, 14, 16, 18 did not kill the virus. Compounds 2, 5, 7, 12, 13, 15, 17 all killed the host. Hold on a second. Compound 6 appears to be showing decreased aggression response. Partial pigmentation return. Slight pupil constriction. GA series, serum 391, Compound 6, next candidate for human trials. You hang in there, #6.
[goes over to a stack of glass cubicles containing KV infected rats; pause]
A Call for Survivors in New York
Robert Neville My name is Robert Neville. I am a survivor living in New York City. I am broadcasting on all AM frequencies. I will be at the South Street Seaport everyday at mid-day, when the sun is highest in the sky. If you are out there... if anyone is out there... I can provide food, I can provide shelter, I can provide security. If there's anybody out there... anybody... please. You are not alone.
Miranda Rights Explained in a Tense Moment
Marcus Burnett You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can, and will be used against you in a court of law.
[''While pursuing Fouchet, who is up ahead in a roadster'']
Mike Lowrey Yo man, what the fuck are you doing?
Marcus Burnett Getting it out the way.
Uncertainty and paranoia in questioning identity
Edward "Brill" Lyle Is this about me? Do they know me?
Robert Clayton Dean Who's them?
Lyle Do they know me??
Dean I don't know what you're talking about!
[emotionally charged]
Lyle You're either very smart or incredibly stupid.
Energy and Frustration in a Conversation
Mike Lowrey What the hell are you doin'?
Marcus Burnett Keepin my shit quick.
Mike Lowrey Oh, I see. You aren't gettin any at home, so you got a lot of extra energy. Go ahead, burn it off.
Understanding Probability and Its Implications
Chris Gardner Probably means there's a good chance. Possibly means we might or we might not.
Christopher Okay.
Chris Gardner So, what does probably mean?
Christopher It means we have a good chance.
Chris Gardner And what does possibly mean?
Christopher I know what it means! It means we're not going to the game.
The Grip on Life and Control
Bagger Vance Yeah, I always felt a man's grip on his club just like a man's grip on his world...
Shaking Up the World of Tennis
Richard Williams Venus and Serena gon shake up this world.
Perceptions of Slurs and Identity
Robert Clayton Dean Actually, I believe the slur "shyster" is generally reserved for Jewish attorneys. I believe the proper slur for someone like myself would be "eggplant".
[explaining himself to Mr Pintero's lieutenant when a new article tags him and Pintero]
Agent J's Unique Perspective on Gendered Letters
Agent J No, I call ladies "O." To me O is feminine, K is masculine. Y'know, I see a couple, I'm like... OK.
Agent J's Observation on Appearance
Agent J Ooh, man, you look like you come from the planet... Damn.
[looking at an ugly alien fish]
The Meaning of Happiness and Language
Chris Gardner It's not "H-A-P-P-Y-N-E-S-S" Happiness is spelled with an "I" instead of a "Y
[about the spelling mistakes in the graffiti of a building]
Christopher Oh, okay. Is "Fuck" spelled right?
Chris Gardner Um, yes. "Fuck" is spelled right but you shouldn't use that word.
Christopher Why? What's it mean?
Chris Gardner It's, um, an adult word used to express anger and, uh, other things. But it's an adult word. It's spelled right, but don't use it.
Confrontation and Loyalty Among Friends
Mike Lowrey You know what man? I'm so sick of this bull-shit. What, I'm supposed to apologize for my family leaving me money? All I ever wanted to be was a cop. I go out there and take it to the max everyday. I'm the first guy through the door and I'm always the last one to leave the crime scene. So you know what? Fuck you, and fuck them, and fuck everybody that's got a problem with Mike Lowrey.
Marcus Burnett I love you, man.
Mike Lowrey Fuck you, Marcus.
Marcus Burnett I do. You're cool. You're my boy.
Mike Lowrey Shut up, shut up, Marcus. Slow-ass driver. Drivin like a bitch. Slow-ass.
Marcus Burnett Why I gotta be all that? I'll take you and me off this fuckin cliff if you keep fuckin with me. Then it'll be, what, two bitches in the sea? Huh, is that it? Is that what you want?
Mike Lowrey Shut up, Marcus.
Marcus Burnett My wife knows I ain't no bitch. I'm a bad boy.
Mike Lowrey and Marcus Burnett Bad Boys, Bad Boys, whatcha gonna do? Whatcha gonna do when they come for you?
[''singing'']
A New Opportunity Awaits Chris Gardner
Chris Gardner I thought I'd wear a shirt today, um, you know, being the last day and all.
Martin Frohm Well, thank you. Thank you. We appreciate that. But... wear one tomorrow though, okay? Because tomorrow's going to be your first day... if you'd like to work here as a broker. Would you like that, Chris?
Gardner Yes, sir.
Frohm Good. We couldn't be happier. So welcome. Was it as easy as it looked?
Gardner No, sir. No, sir, it wasn't.
Frohm Good luck, Chris.
Gardner Thank you. Thank you.
[shakes hands with Jay Twistle and the other partners, and prepares to leave]
Frohm Oh, Chris. I almost forgot. Thank you.
[gives him back five dollars for an earlier cab ride]
A Conversation on Sanity and Acceptance
Hitch You are flat out, out of your mind, you know that?
Albert I know.
Hitch That's good!
Albert It is?
Hitch Yeah. You ever heard of Michelangelo? The Sistine Chapel?
Albert Yeah.
Hitch Michelangelo. The Sistine Chapel.
[Gestures towards himself; Gestures towards Albert]
Albert Does this mean you can do this?
Hitch My name's Alex Hitchens. Let's go paint that ceiling.
Tensions Rise Over a Botched Operation
Captain Howard Ho! What did I say? Did you hear what I said? I heard what I said cause I was standing there when I said it. I told you. I told you to secure a witness. Not to shoot up a neighborhood! Not to do another dead body! Just get the dope back, and do it quietly.
Marcus Burnett Look, Captain, this whole situation is getting out of control.
Captain Howard You're goddamn right it's getting out of control!
Marcus Burnett Look, man, I damn near had to pass a pop quiz before she believed I was him.
Captain Howard Going, it's going... Shit. A little off.
[''Shoots the ball''; ''Missed shot'']
Mike Lowrey I haven't killed anybody yet today, Captain.
Captain Howard Hey, do you want me to yell at you? Cause I can do that. Let me tell you something. This witness—is my only good news I got, okay? The only good news. You guys are bad news. So what does that mean? It means if you have to be Mike Lowrey, Santa Claus, FD Hutton—I don't give a shit, that's what you're gonna be!
Mike Lowrey Wait a minute, what the hell is going on here?
Captain Howard I was getting them all in before you showed up.
[''Missed another shot'']
Mike Lowrey Can somebody talk to me, please? Can I know what's going on?
Marcus Burnett Captain, these fools could have gotten a look at my license plate last night.
Captain Howard So where's the girl now?
Marcus Burnett ...His place.
[''Points to Mike'']
Mike Lowrey What!?
Captain Howard You left her by herself? Our only fucking witness?!
Mike Lowrey You left a strange hooker alone in my apartment?!
Marcus Burnett The girl is not a hooker, as far as I know. See, I had to stash her someplace. Her and her dogs, Luke and Dukie.
Mike Lowrey Oh, so y-you left dogs in my house? There's dogs and a hooker in my house? How about you add some chimps, we can have a carnival.
Marcus Burnett I said she isn't a hooker. Can you please—
[''Talking over Mike'']
Mike Lowrey Respect my stuff—
[''Talking over Marcus'']
Captain Howard Shut up!! For years, Sinclair has been up my ass, trying to pin something on me. I'm always taking it for you. Do it for me! Now, if we can get this witness to IDs our shooters, maybe we catch our bad guys. But until then—until then— ] YOU are Mike Lowrey, you be him, that's what you are, you're him—
[''To Marcus]
Marcus Burnett But I—
[''Talking over Howard'']
Captain Howard You're him—I don't wanna hear it! You're him! And you, you're you, you be you, but...not in front of her. You're him! You're you! Fuck!
[''Talking over Marcus''; ''to Mike''; ''To Marcus''; ''To Mike''; ''Takes another shot and misses'']
Mike Lowrey Can we get a time-out, Captain? What am I, the designated homeless?
Captain Howard Does it look like I care? Whatever it takes, all right? Whatever it takes. What did she say to you? The shooters are making their drop in four days? So we got four days.
Marcus Burnett Captain! What kind of plan is that, man? I can't be shacked up with that woman. I have a family to look after. My wife will kill my ass!
Captain Howard You don't like your job? Quit. Damn!
[''Missed another shot'']
Mike Lowrey Look, I'll stay at the house with Theresa and the kids.
Marcus Burnett Thank you—Thank you, but no thank you. You wouldn't last five minutes with my family.
Mike Lowrey Please, married life is easy. You only got one woman to satisfy.
[''Picks up a basketball'']
Marcus Burnett Yo, man, we ain't the ].
[[The Cosby Show|Cosbys]
Mike Lowrey Let's go, I got this.
[''In position to shoot'']
Mike Lowrey Everybody wants to ].
[''Posing''; [w:Be Like Mike|be like Mike]
Captain Howard Yeah, and you're going to be ], too.
[[w:Michael_Jordan#First_retirement_and_stint_in_Minor_League_Baseball_(1993–1994)|retired like him]
Marcus Burnett I'd have dunked it on your ass...
[''Walks off from the court'']
A Commitment to One True Love
Robert Clayton Dean You're the only woman for me. You and ].
[talking to wife on the way back from work; [w:Janet Jackson|Janet Jackson]
Questions About Purpose and Method
Chris Gardner I just have two questions for you: What do you do, and how do you do it?
[To a man with a sports car]
The Nature of Happiness and Its Pursuit
Chris Gardner It was right then that I started thinking about ], the ] and the part about our right to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. And I remember thinking: How did he know to put the pursuit part in there? That maybe happiness is something that we can only pursue. And maybe we can actually never have it, no matter what. How did he know that?
[[Thomas Jefferson; [United States Declaration of Independence|Declaration of Independence]
Agent J Suggests a Pedicure Reminder
Agent J You might wanna get a pedicure if you get a second.
[To Boris]
Confidence vs. Reality in Action Dialogue
Marcus Burnett I got this!
Mike Lowrey But you don't though!
Light Up the Darkness
Robert Neville He had this idea. It was kind of a virologist idea. He believed that you could cure ] and ]... literally cure it, by injecting ] and ] into people's ]. When he was scheduled to perform at a ] rally, a gunman came to his house and shot him down. Two days later he walked out on that stage and sang. When they asked him why — He said, "The people who are trying to make this world worse are not taking a day off. How can I? Light up the darkness.
[telling Anna about [[Bob Marley; [racism; [hate; [music; [love; [lives; [peace]
Debate on Windshield Wiper Fluid Safety
Mike Lowrey Windshield wiper fluid is inflammable!
Marcus Burnett I ain't no damn scientist!
[''The car is on fire and crashes'']
Reflections on a Strange Conversation
Agent J Crazy, right? Two grown men, talking to the wall, wall talking back, it's a mess. But hey. Don't even worry about it.
[from trailer, talking to Marco, a graffiti alien, and a graffiti artist]
Agent J Asserts His Identity
Agent J First of all, my name is J. Okay? It's not Son, it's not Slick, and it damn sure ain't no Cochise.
The Cost of Protecting One's Life
Edward "Brill" Lyle You're the threat now. Just like I was.
Robert Clayton Dean Threat to whom? To them?
Lyle No. To your family, your friends, everybody you know, everybody you meet. That's why I went away and didn't come back. You've got to go away, Robert.
Dean No, I don't think so. This is my life, I worked hard for it and I want it back. I grew up without a father, I know what that is. And I will not allow my family to go through that.
Kid at Nearby Table Mommy, I want to go home.
Lyle Want to take a poke at me? Come on.
Dean I don't hit senior citizens.
Lyle Come here, Babe. Come here, come on. In ] they taught us to use our weaknesses as strengths.
[cat cuddles up; [w:guerrilla warfare|guerrilla warfare]
Dean Such as?
Lyle Well, if they're big and you're small, then you're mobile and they're slow. You're hidden and they're exposed. You only fight battles you know you can win. That's the way the Vietcong did it. You capture their weapons and you use them against them the next time. That way they're supplying you. You grow stronger as they grow weaker.
A Family's Ambition Beyond Their Circumstances
Richard Williams Now, I know what you thinking. This family is from the ghetto. How they gonna pay old me? Well, don't you worry about that. We're not here to rob ya. We here to make you rich.
Focus on the swing, not the outcome.
Bagger Vance Don't worry about hitting the ball or where it goes, just swing the club, feel the club.
The Consequences of Lying to Children
Agent J May I have your attention please... Okay. You know how your kid won the goldfish in that little baggy from the school fair, but you didn't want that nasty thing in your house so you told your kid it ran away but what you really did was flush it down the toilet? Well, this what happens. Okay, see what I'm talking about? Don't lie to your kids!
[Neuralyzes a crowd; Points to an alien fish being towed away]
Misunderstandings in a Speed Dating Encounter
Sara Why don't you go hit a titty bar with your buddy, Vance?
Hitch ...Wow, I don't believe this... That's your source?
Sara You buried yourself, Alex.
Hitch Then you weren't listening.
Sara I heard every word. You're a scam artist. You trick women into getting...
Hitch ... Into getting out of their own way so great guys like Albert Brennaman have a fighting chance.
Speed Dating Host Ok...
Hitch No, no, I want -— I want everybody to take a look at this right now! Because this — this right here — this is exactly why falling in love is so goddamn hard!
[gestures at speed-dating scene]
Speed Dating Host Sir, let's go. Now.
Hitch And Vance Munson is a pig! And I refused to work with him. You need to get your facts right. It's because of jerks like him that I even have a job! Had a job.
[while leaving]
Confrontation Between Cops and Carjackers
Mike Lowrey Let me tell you how bad a day you're having: right now you're jacking a couple of cops.
[''To the White Carjacker holding a gun to his head'']
White Carjacker Oh, yeah? Well, I'm a stand-up comedian. And I suck! That's why I need your car.
Marcus Burnett Look, now I ain't no ]! I just hang out with stupid-ass friends, that drive stupid-ass cars, that attract a lot of motherfuckin attention!
[''To the Black Carjacker''; [Wesley Snipes]
Mike Lowrey You know what? I need to jump over this car and smack you in your peasy-ass head. That's what I need to do.
Marcus Burnett Well, you know what? You're arguin over a motherfuckin french fry.
Mike Lowrey It's not about the french fry, it's about your lack of respect for other people's property!
White Carjacker Hey-hey-hey-hey-hey!
Black Carjacker Shut the fuck up!
Mike Lowrey That shit is stupid!
White Carjacker Shut up, shut up!
Marcus Burnett Hold-- Hold the fuck on!
[''To the Black Carjacker'']
Black Carjacker Forget this!
Marcus Burnett Alright, now, you want some bad enough? Come get some!
[''To Mike'']
Marcus Burnett You like that shit? ] Now gimme a motherfuckin Handy Wipe!
[''Pointing gun at the Black Carjacker, who is on the ground''; [w:Passenger 57|Wesley Snipes, "Passenger 57"!]
Mike Lowrey Now let's hear one of those jokes, bitch.
[''Pointing gun at the White Carjacker, who is on the ground'']
Unexpected Response to a Hit Question
Mike Lowrey You got hit?
Marcus Burnett No, black jelly bean! Nobody likes that shit!
Claiming Responsibility for the Crisis
Robert Neville This is Ground Zero. This is my site. I can still fix this.
A Child's Curious Questions About the World
Chris Gardner How many planets are there?
Christopher Um... seven?
Chris Gardner Seven? Nine! OK, who's the king of the jungle?
Christopher The gorilla?
Chris Gardner Gorilla? Nope. Lion.
Christopher Yeah, lion, lion. You wanna hear something funny?
Christopher Knock knock.
Chris Gardner Who's there?
Christopher Shelby.
Chris Gardner Shelby who?
Christopher Shelby comin round the mountain when she comes, Shelby comin round the mountain when she comes!
Chris Gardner Hey, that's good.
Christopher Knock knock.
Chris Gardner Who's there?
Christopher Nobody.
Chris Gardner Nobody who?
Chris Gardner Nobody who?
Chris Gardner A-ha-ha, that's a good one, I like that!
Empowered Women Can Achieve Anything
Richard Williams The most strongest, the most powerful, the most dangerous creature on this whole earth is a woman who knows how to think. Ain't nothing she can't do.
Aging and Its Challenges in Agent J's Perspective
Agent J Man, I am getting too old for this. I can only imagine how you feel.
[talking to K at Wu’s restaurant]
Consequences of a Simple Phone Call
Robert Clayton Dean What the hell just happened?
Edward "Brill" Lyle I blew up the building.
Dean Why?
Lyle Because you made a phone call!
Surveillance and Technology in Modern Society
Edward "Brill" Lyle The government's been in bed with the entire telecommunications industry since the forties. They've infected everything. They get into your bank statements, computer files, email, listen to your phone calls...
Robert Clayton Dean My wife's been saying that for years.
Lyle Every wire, every airwave. The more technology used, the easier it is for them to keep tabs on you. It's a brave new world out there. At least it'd better be. There it goes. It's some kind of simple encryption.
[analyzes disk]
Dean Oh, conspiracy theorists of the world, unite.
Lyle It's more than a theory with me. I'm a former conspirer. I used to work for the NSA. I was a communication analyst. Listen to international calls, calls from foreign nationalists. That GPS tracking device we found in your cellular telephone? I designed one of the first models in that series. ] has 18 acres of mainframe computers underground. You're talking on the phone and you use the word, "bomb," "president," "Allah," any of a hundred keywords, the computer recognizes it, automatically records it, red flags it for analysis; that was twenty years ago. You know the Hubble Telescope that looks up to the stars? They've got over a hundred spy satellites looking down at us. That's classified. In the old days, we actually had to tap a wire into your phone line. Now calls bouncin around on satellite, they snatch right out of the air.
[[w:Fort George G. Meade|Fort Meade]
Contrasting Perspectives on Romantic Preferences
Hitch Allegra? As in "Allegra Cole"?
Albert I realize I'm not her usual kinda guy.
Hitch Well her last boyfriend like... owned Sweden, or something!
Albert Yeah, and he was a bum.... I mean he didn't seem like a very nice person... to me.
Hitch You... you swing for the fence!
Desperation in a Fractured Reality
Robert Neville What the hell are you doing out here, Fred? What the hell-No! NO! What the hell... Fred, if you're real, you better tell me right now! Dammit Fred... IF YOU'RE REAL, YOU BETTER TELL ME RIGHT NOW! DAMN IT, FRED!! DAMN IT!
[sees the department store dummy, Fred, outside of the store; grabs his assault rifle; guns the dummy down]
The Inevitability of Death
Agent J Where there's ], there will always be death.
[After seeing 1969 K shoot 1969 Boris; [death]
Managing Finances After Losing a Car
Christopher What are you doing?
Chris Gardner Just filling out a check, paying some bills and a parking ticket.
Christopher We don't have a car anymore.
Chris Gardner Yeah, I know...
The Importance of First Impressions in Romance
Hitch So, tell me about her.
Vance Have you ever met someone, and you knew right away she was gonna be important to you? Not just because of her looks, but that X factor?
Hitch How'd you meet her?
Vance Actually, I was in a shop buying pajamas for my mom-
Hitch And by that, of course, you mean you were buying lingerie for another woman.
Vance Yes. You can't help where you meet somebody. And the lingerie is for a woman I'm no longer seeing... But anyway, the girl I met, the one I was talking about... She's so sweet, funny, Southern. She gives me her number... Now she won't return my phone calls. I don't know what it is about her. I just can't get her out of my mind. You know? Food has lost its taste. Colors, they seem dull. Things that used to matter... I don't know, they just no longer do. I think things aren't gonna snap back unless I... Unless I bang her.
Hitch ...Excuse me?
Vance You know, bang her. Clear my head. Get in, get off, get out.
Hitch ...I think you may have misunderstood what I do, exactly.
Vance No, I was told that you help guys get in there!
[taken back]
Hitch Right, but see, here's the thing - my clients actually like women. "Hit it and quit it" is not my thing.
Vance Let me make one thing clear to you, rabbi, I need professional help.
Hitch Well, that is for damn certain. And I'm glad you can admit it because generally, that's the hardest part.
Vance You see what I'm doing? This is what I'm about - power suit, power tie, power steering. People can wince, cry, beg, but eventually they do what I want.
[grabs Hitch by the wrist]
Hitch Oh! So that's, like, a metaphor?
[not intimidated]
Vance Oh, yeah.
Hitch Right. Well, see, I'm more of a literal kind of guy. So when I do this... This is more like me saying that I will literally break your shit off if you ever touch me again. Mmkay, pumpkin?
[he reverses the grip, twists Vance's arm back and slams him on the table]
Understanding Signals in Romantic Encounters
Hitch Now, on the one hand, it is very difficult for a man to even speak to someone who looks like you. But, on the other hand, should that be your problem?
Sara So life's kind of hard all around.
Hitch Not if you pay attention. I mean, you're sending all the right signals - no earrings, heels under two inches, your hair is pulled back, you're wearing reading glasses with no book, drinking a Grey Goose martini, which means you had a hell of a week and a beer just wouldn't do it. And if that wasn't clear enough, there's always the "fuck off" that you have stamped on your forehead. because who is going to believe there is a man out there that can sit down beside a woman he doesn't know and genuinely be interested in who she is, what she does, without his own personal agenda?
Sara Yeah, I wouldn't even know what that would look like. So what would a guy like that say?
Hitch Well, he'd say, "My name is Alex Hitchens and I'm a consultant," but she wouldn't be interested in that because she would be just counting the seconds until he left...
Sara ... Thinking he was like every other guy...
Hitch ... Which life experience has taught her is a virtual certainty... but then he'd ask her name, and what she did for a living and she might blow him off, or she might say... ?
Sara I'm Sara Melas and I run the gossip column at The Standard." Then he would ask all these penetrating questions about it because he's sincerely, if atypically, interested...
Hitch No.
Sara No?
Hitch He'd be interested... but he would see that there was no way of possibly making her realize, that he was for real.
Sara Ah...He could be funny, and charming, and refreshingly original.
Hitch Wouldn't help.
Sara Don't ya hate it when that happens?
Hitch Not really... they'd probably both lead the lives they were headed toward, and my guess is... they'd do just fine. It's a pleasure to have met you, Sara Melas.