Zooey DeschanelQuotes

Cheryl: You didn't bring this into the store with you?

Heavy Set Woman: No.

Cheryl: [[lawsuit] Then I'll go ahead and charge you for it. This is a hand lotion, so don't put it on any other part of your body, even if that part needs lubrication. We try to keep frivolous ]s to a minimum, unless, of course, the customer is at fault.

Cheryl: Sit right down here, ma'am. We're going to make you pretty. Now how do you like your hair?

Big Haired Woman: What? Are you going to do my hair?

Cheryl: No, I just need to know if that's your usual way of wearing it, all big and high. If it is, I'll just put more makeup on your chin to offset it. You're going to want to take a whole bottle of this home with you. It's got quite a lot of ingredients in it, so you're getting a good deal. It's got ginkgo extract in it. Do you know what that is?

Big Haired Woman: No.

Cheryl: It's extract of the ginkgo, and it makes your skin real slick so that any liquid will roll right off you, be it water, or lemon juice, or urine. I'll put it in a bag for you.

Cheryl: Attention, shoppers. There's a Retail Rodeo special on aisle 3. Liquid Drain Cleaner, 2 12-ounce cans for $5.00. Liquid Drain Cleaner has churning power and it will churn right through your pipes. Ladies, you need female plumbing. Shove something clean and new up your filthy pipes. That's Liquid Drain Cleaner on aisle 3. Have a good day and thank you for shopping at Retail Rodeo.

Jenny Herk: Good thing you ran away, Arthur, you might have gotten wet.

Arthur Herk: Shut up!

Officer Monica Romero: Easy...

Arthur Herk: Don't tell me easy, this is my goddamn house!

Officer Monica Romero: And these are my handcuffs, and if you don't take it easy, you'll be wearing my handcuffs in your goddamn house.

Frances: I wanted to say I'm sorry for lying to you. I do the same palm reading on everyone, it's a lie. And I can't get over how mean it was to lie to you, because you're probably the nicest person I ever met, and you're dying, and I took advant...

Jason: Wait a minute, wait a minute — wait — I'm not dying.

Frances: [points to bloodied nose] You're hard on yourself, because a lot of people depend on you, and you're afraid of letting them down. You've got a great deal of unused potential. Something bad has happened to you recently, besides that — Some of your aspirations are pretty unrealistic considering that you live in Nebraska... you care a great deal about a select group of people, and you love this theatre.

Jason: You can tell that by looking at my palm?

Frances: I can tell that by looking at your face.

Jason: I don't know who you think I am, but I don't think I'm him. I don't know you.

Frances: Yes you do, you just don't know you know me.

Frances: [[w:On the Sunny Side of the Street|On the Sunny Side of the Street; [w:Dorothy Fields|Dorothy Fields] * Singing "]", by ] to calm down Gus.

Frances: Grab your coat and get your hat Leave your worries on the doorstep Life can be so sweet On the sunny side of the street

Frances: When you're famous people try to take everything from you, and my husband took it all.

Frances: I don't want to watch, or talk about, anyone else's life anymore. I just want to live ours.

Elliot: [shots are heard firing in the distance] Oh no...

Alma: What "oh no"?

Elliot: The toxin? The toxin's affecting them?

Woman in Group: Are those people killing themselves?

Realtor: You were with the Private, what do we do?

Alma: We need to do something!

Elliot: Just let me think...

Alma: [as shots continually fire in the background] They're dying!

Elliot: I need a second...

Realtor: They released it? We're not near the roads!

Alma: We can't just stand here as uninvolved observers!

Elliot: I need a second, okay? Just give me a second!

Alma: We're not gonna be one of those assholes on the news who watches a crime happen and not do something! We're not assholes!

Elliot: Just a second!

Woman in Group: There were children in that group!

Alma Moore: Elliot, please, tell us what to do!

Elliot: [talks to himself] I need a second, okay?! Why can't anybody give me a goddamn second?! All right, be scientific, douchebag. Identify the variables.. isolate groups.. design the experiment.. that's what we're.. careful observation, measurements, that's what I'm trying to do, interpret the experimental data, interpret... What if it is the plants? That group was larger than ours. This thing's been escalating all day. Smaller and smaller populations have been setting this off. They react to human stimulus. Maybe people are setting off the plants?

Alma: What are you saying? That guy was crazy! We have to save them!

Elliot: They're already dead! What if they're targeting us as threats? This part of the field may not have been set off. Something in this field could be releasing the chemical into the air when there's too many of us together. Let's just stay ahead of the wind!

Alma Moore: [Watching a news report about the airborn toxin, presumed to be the result of a terrorist attack] It makes you kill yourself. Just when you thought there couldn't be any more evil that can be invented.

Dorothy Evans: Why did you kill him?

Robert Ford: Well, he was gonna kill me.

Dorothy Evans: So you were scared and that's the only reason?

Robert Ford: Yeah. And the reward money.

Dorothy Evans: Do you want me to change the subject?

Robert Ford: [laughs to himself] You know what I expected? Applause. I was only 20 years old then. I couldn't see how it would look to people. I was surprised by what happened. They didn't applaud.

Jovie: Hey, you.

Buddy: Me?

Jovie: Come here. I wanna talk to you.

Buddy: What do you wanna talk to me about?

Jovie: How come you were in the women's locker room this morning?

Buddy: I heard you singing.

Jovie: You sure it had nothing to do with the fact that I was naked and in the shower?

Buddy: I didn't know you were naked. Why were you here so early?

Jovie: They shut my water off. What were you doing here so early?

Buddy: Building this.

Jovie: You built this? They're kinda pissed about this.

Buddy: Really?

Gimbel's Manager: [''Ạpproạċhes''; ''To Jovie''] Hey, guys. Have you seen the place? It's pretty good. It's a little "too good". Corporate must have sent in a professional. I don't know why somebody's gunning for my job. But look, let's remain a team, okay? Cause if I go, we all go. If you get wind of anything, call me on my radio. Channel three. Code word is "Santa's got a brand new bag." Okay? Six inch ribbon curls, honey.

Jovie: [''Rolls her eyes''] But that's impossible.

Gimbel's Manager: [''Interrupting''; ''Storms away''] SIX... inches!

Buddy: By the way, you have the most beautiful singing voice in the whole wide world.

Jovie: Are you enjoying the view?

Buddy: You are very good at decorating that tree.

Jovie: Why are you messing with me? Did Krumpet put you up to this?

Buddy: I'm not messing with you. It's just nice to meet another human who shares my affinity for, elf culture.

Jovie: I'm just trying to get through the holidays.

Buddy: Get through? Christmas is the greatest day in the whole wide world!

Jovie: Please stop talking to me.

Buddy: Uh-oh. Sounds like somebody needs to sing a Christmas carol.

Jovie: No way.

Buddy: The best way to spread Christmas cheer is singing loud for all to hear.

Jovie: Thanks, but I don't sing.

Buddy: Oh, well, it's just like talking, except longer and louder, and you move your voice up and down.

Jovie: I can sing, I just choose not to sing. Especially in front of other people.

Buddy: If you can sing alone, you sing in front of other people. There's no difference.

Jovie: Actually, there's a BIG difference.

Buddy: [''starts singing loud and off-key''; ''adeptly''] No... no... no, there isn't. Wait... I'm singing I'm in a store and I'm singing I'm in a store and I'm singing!

Gimbel's Manager: HEY! There's no singin in the North Pole!

Buddy: Yes, there is!

Gimbel's Manager: No, there's not.

Buddy: We sing all the time!

Gimbel's Manager: No, there's not!

Buddy: [''To Jovie''] Especially when we make toys! See?

Jovie: [''After Ḅuddy does [[w:All Nighter|an all-nighter; [w:Baby, It's Cold Outside|singing "Baby, It's Cold Outside"; ''Buddy sustains a note and Jovie realizes the presence of Buddy in the room and turns the water off; ''Buddy covers his eyes and runs into a locker and knocks himself out''] ] of hyper decorating the store, he hears Jovie ] in the staff room shower, walks in and sits on the sink shelf and sings along] I really can't stay, I've got to go way, this evening has been, so very nice, my mother will start to worry, and father will be pacing the floor, So, really, I'd better scurry, well, may be just a half a drink more, the neighbors might think baby, it's bad out there, say, what's in this drink? No cabs to be had out there I wish I knew how to break the spell, I'll take your hat, your hair looks swell, I ought to say no, no, no, sir, mind if I move in closer? At least I'm gonna say that I tried, what's the sense of hurting? my pride? I really can't stay, ah, but it's cold outside baby, it's cold outside! Get out! Don't look at me! Get out!

Summer: Colour my life with the chaos of trouble. -quoted from Belle & Sebastian in Summer's high school yearbook.

Summer: There's no such thing as love. It's a fantasy.

Summer: I just kept thinking..."Tom was right". It just wasn't me you were right about.

Samantha Harper: I'll have a double order of escape fantasy and a side order of running away.

Samantha Harper: They want Vietnamese orphans... and engineers. God, why wasn't I born a Vietnamese orphan?

Elaine Miller: Anita?

Anita Miller: Hi, Mom.

Elaine Miller: You hungry? I made soy cutlets.

Anita Miller: No thanks, I already ate.

Elaine Miller: You've been kissing.

Anita Miller: No I haven’t.

Elaine Miller: Yes you have, I can tell.

Anita Miller: You can’t tell.

Elaine Miller: Not only can I tell I know who it is.

Elaine Miller: Whatcha’ got under your coat?

Anita Miller: It’s unfair we can’t listen to our own music.

Elaine Miller: That is because it is about drugs and promiscuous sex.

Anita Miller: Simon and Garfunkel is poetry.

Elaine Miller: Yes, it is poetry about drugs and promiscuous sex. Honey, they’re on pot.

Anita Miller: First it was butter, then sugar, white flour, bacon, eggs, bologna; then it was celebrating Christmas, on a day in September, when you knew it wouldn’t be commercialized. What else are you gonna ban?

Elaine Miller: I am trying to give you the cliff notes on how to live life in this world.

Anita Miller: We’re like nobody else I know!

Elaine Miller: [to herself] I’m a college professor, why can’t I teach my own kids. Use me.

Anita Miller: Darrell says that you use knowledge to keep me down. He says that I’m a yes person and you are trying to raise us in a no environment!

Elaine Miller: Well, clearly no is a word Darrell doesn’t hear often.

Anita Miller: [Frustrated and yelling] I can’t live here! I hate you, even William hates you!

William Miller: I don’t hate her.

Anita Miller: You do hate her; you don’t even know the truth.

Elaine Miller: Honey, don’t be a drama queen.

Anita Miller: Feck you!!

Elaine Miller: Hey!!

Anita Miller: [Storms off to her bedroom.] This is a house of lies!

Elaine Miller: There it is. Your sister used the F word.

William Miller: I think she said feck.

Elaine Miller: What’s the difference?

William Miller: The letter U.