12 quotes
Misunderstanding About Luxury Cars in Manhattan
John Ammer
Well, the interesting thing, Prince Habeeboo, is that the building codes in Manhattan will allow us to- Michael.
Michael Newman
Sorry I'm late, sir. Some moron in a red Lamborghini parked in my spot, so-
Prince Habeeboo
Prince Habeeboo drive red Lamborghini.
Michael
Ehh, red Lamborghini? I meant blue Ferrari.
Prince Habeeboo
Is this one of your partners?
John Ammer
Actually, Michael is just an associate. But he is one of our brightest young architects.
Michael
Thank you.
John Ammer
Walk His Majesty through our design concept.
Michael
With pleasure. Prince Haboobee...
Prince Habeeboo
Habeeboo! Prince Habeeboo.
Michael
Habeeboo. I thought I said that. When Mr. Ammer explained to me the type of man you are- a visionary who prides himself on originality- I said to myself, "Let's smash the mould and redefine elegance." So I present to you your restaurant.
[unveils a scale model of the planned restaurant interior]
Prince Habeeboo
Where is...? Where is bar?
Michael
Bar is... Here's the bar. Now, the waterfall...
Prince Habeeboo
Make bar longer.
Michael
Okay. We could cut into the atrium a little bit.
Prince Habeeboo
No atrium. Just make bar longer for Prince Habeeboo.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Moment of Harsh Realization
Michael Newman
You're pathetic.
[after seeing his non-auto-pilot self yell at his father]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Importance of Family in Relationships
Michael
Ben, Ben. Family. Family. Family.
[to Ben]
Ben
What?
Michael
Family. Family.... Family comes first.
Ben
Family comes first.
[sobbing]
Michael
Honeymoon. Honeymoon.
Ben
Honeymoon. I love you.
[to his wife; consoles with her]
Michael
Samantha. Samantha. I didn't make 200, but I love you.
Samantha
I love you.
Michael
Bill, Bill, Bill. I'm sorry.
[flips him off but he signifies an okay sign, indicating he's made peace with him. He holds Donna's hand]
Morty
Michael. The note you wrote her, in your pocket.
[shows note stating "Will you still love me in the morning?"]
Donna
Forever and ever, babe.
[sadly]
Morty
It's time to go.
[kneels; Michael dies peacefully with Donna holding his hand, and Ben sobbing over Michael's dead body]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Invitation for a Barbeque Gathering
Child #1
Mike, go long!
Michael
Touchdown!
Gertrude
Michael! Dinner is ready! You can invite your friends if you like.
Michael
If you want to come over to my tent to have a barbeque, you are welcome.
Child #2
Or, we could go over to my family's camper where we have a TV antenna and can watch ].
[[Three's Company; Kids elect to go to the RV, running off screen.]
Children
Three's Company! Three's Company!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Expression of Frustration
Michael Newman
You bastard.
[Morty reveals to Michael that he is an "angel of death" and that it was his father's time; loses control of his rage and tries to attack him, only to grab nothing and fall]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Casual Conversation About Stereo Systems
Kevin
Mr. Newman.
Michael
Kevin O'Doyle. Yeah. Always a pleasure.
Kevin
What kind of stereo you got in that blue piece of shit?
Michael
You know what? I never checked, Kevin.
Kevin
Yeah, well, my father's stereo is a BOSE.
Michael
Your father's stereo blows? That's too bad.
Kevin
No! I said- That's not what I said!
Michael
His father's stereo blows! Whee!
[drives off]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Humorous Remarks from Michael Newman
Michael Newman
You look like pale there, pal. Let me fix that. You're all yellow from the scurvy. Arr, captain. Grr.. Don't get the Hulk angry. You won't like him when he's angry. Raaaahrrr! Oh, there's Barney. ] theme] I love you, you love me. The jogger had giant boobies.
[tinkers with the remote while looking at the rearview mirror; changes his skin color to yellow; picks green; to purple; spoof [[Barney & Friends|Barney]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Celebrating a Newborn's Gender Surprise
Doctor
Congratulations Mr. and Mrs. Newman, you have a baby girl!
Gertrude
A girl? No wait, this is a baby boy!
Theodore
A boy? I have a son!
Gertrude
I can see why you made a mistake doctor, it has such a tiny schmeckel!
Morty
She must have some kind of super vision. Neither the doctor nor I could have identified something that small.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Controlling Your Universe with a Remote
Taglines
What If You Had A Universal Remote... That Controlled Your Universe?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Protecting Family in Unexpected Situations
Michael
Wowie! That's a looker. Blondie, big lips. Chesty. Is that your girl?
Ben
No, that's your daughter Samantha.
Michael
Of course it is. And you better always take care of her... ...and make sure nobody touches her except you.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Good Guys Deserve a Break
Michael Newman
Like I said, "Good guys need a break". I know you'll do the right thing this time. Love Morty. P.S.: Your wife's rocking body still drives me crazy. Okay, Morty.
[having seen that what happened was just a dream, he makes amends with his family and prepares for their Fourth of July vacation, but sees the remote in the kitchen and reads an attached letter; disposes of the universal remote in the trash bin, and this time it does not reappear]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Value of a Robo-Dog Debate
Ben
Hey, Dad! Look at Kevin's new Robo-Dog!
Michael
That's nice.
[not listening]
Kevin
Nice"? This thing's worth more than your car!
Michael
Not anymore it ain't!
[runs over Robo-Dog]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.