Name: Clueless
Genre: Comedy, Romance
Released: 1995-07-19
Duration: 97 min
Rating: 7.2
Cast: Alicia Silverstone, Stacey Dash, Brittany Murphy, Paul Rudd, Donald Faison

Clueless

Understanding Coolness in Different Universes

Josh Hey! In some parts of the universe, maybe not in ], but in some parts, it's considered cool to know what's going on in the world.

[[w:Contempo Casuals|Contempo Casual]

Cher Thank you, Josh. I so need lessons from you on how to be cool. Tell me that part about ] again?

[[w:Kenny G|Kenny G]

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Clueless

Casual Conversation About Herbal Refreshments

Tai I could really use some sort of a herbal refreshment.

Dionne Oh, well, we do lunch in ten minutes. We don't have any tea, but we have ] and stuff.

[[w:Coca-Cola|Coke]

Tai No shit! You guys got ] here?

[[w:Cocaine|coke]

Dionne Well, yeah.

Cher Yeah, this is America.

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Clueless

Casual School Day Conversations

Mel So, uh, what'd you do at school today?

Cher Well... I broke in my purple clogs.

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Clueless

Tennis Instructor's Note on Training Preferences

Ms. Stoeger Dionne, you're up.

Dionne Uh, no. Ms. Stoeger, I have a note from my tennis instructor, and he would prefer it if I didn't expose myself to any training that might derail his teachings.

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Clueless

Physical Education Critique in Clueless Scene

Cher Ms. Stoeger? I would just like to say that physical education in this school is a disgrace. I mean, standing in line for 40 minutes is hardly aerobically effective. I doubt I've worked off the calories in a stick of Carefree gum.

Ms. Stoeger Well, you certainly exercised your mouth, Cher. Now, hit the ball.

Cher Ms. Stoeger, that machine is just a lawsuit waiting to happen!

Ms. Stoeger Thanks for the legal advice.

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Clueless

Career Choices and Their Consequences

Mel So, Josh, have you given any thought to our little discussion about Corporate Law?

Josh Yeah, you know, but I think I'd really like to check out Environmental Law.

Mel What for? Do you wanna have a miserable, frustrating life?

Cher Oh, Josh will have that no matter what he does.

Mel At least he knows what he wants to do. And he's in a good college. I'd like to see you have a little bit of direction.

Cher I have direction.

Josh Yeah, towards the mall.

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Clueless

Cher's Take on Guys' Fashion Choices

Cher Horowitz So, okay. I don't wanna be a traitor to my generation and all, but I don't get how guys dress today. I mean, c'mon, it looks like they just fell out of bed and put on some baggy pants, and take their greasy hair—ew!—and cover it up with a backwards cap and, like, we're expected to swoon? I don't think so!

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Clueless

Interpreting Body Language in Social Situations

Cher Horowitz Will you look at that body language? Legs crossed towards each other. That's an unequivocal sex invite.

[to Dionne, about Mr. Hall and Miss Geist]

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Clueless

Naming Inspired by Iconic Singers

Cher Horowitz Dionne and I were both named after great singers of the past who now do infomercials.

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Clueless

Searching for Meaning in High School Romance

Cher Horowitz Searching for a boy in high school is as useless as searching for meaning in a ] movie.

[[w:Pauly Shore|Pauly Shore]

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Clueless

Celebrity Contributions and Fashion Donations

Josh We might get ] to plant a celebrity tree.

[[Mark Wahlberg|Marky Mark]

Cher How fabulous. Getting Marky Mark to take time from his busy pants-dropping schedule to plant trees. Josh, why don't you just hire a gardener?

Josh You know, maybe Marky Mark wants to use his popularity for a good cause, make a contribution. In case you've never heard of that, a contribution is the giving of...

Cher Excuse me, but I've donated many expensive Italian outfits to Lucy...

Josh Time... funds...

Cher And as soon as I get my license, I fully intend to brake for animals, and I have contributed many hours to helping two lonely teachers find romance.

Josh Which I'll bet serves your interests more than theirs. You know, if I ever saw you do something that wasn't 90% selfish, I'd die of shock.

Cher Oh, that'd be reason enough for me.

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Clueless

Acknowledging Contributions to Tardiness

Travis I would like to say this. Tardiness is not something you can do all on your own. Many, many people contributed to my tardiness. Uh, I'd like to thank my parents for never giving me a ride to school, the LA city bus driver for taking a chance on an unknown kid, and, uh, last but not least, the wonderful crew at McDonald's for spending hours making those Egg McMuffins, without which I might never be tardy.

Amber She could be a farmer in those clothes.

[about Tai]

Tai Cher, I don't wanna do this anymore. And my buns, they don't feel nothing like steel.

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Clueless

Cher's Humorous Explanation for Absence

Cher Horowitz Mr. Hall, I was surfing the crimson wave. I had to haul ass to the ladies'.

[arguing her way out of a tardy]

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Clueless

Cher's Advice on Managing a Concussion

Cher If it's a concussion, you have to keep her concious, okay? Ask her questions.

[after Tai is hit in the head by a flying clog]

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Clueless

Cher's Reflection on Her Mother's Tragic Death

Cher Horowitz Wasn't my mom a Betty? She died when I was just a baby. A fluke accident during a routine liposuction.

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Clueless

Cher's Appreciation for Classic Architecture

Cher Horowitz Isn't my house classic? The columns date all the way back to 1972.

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Clueless

Cher's Disappointment Over Debate Grade

Cher Horowitz Suddenly, a dark cloud settled over first period. I got a C in Debate?!

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Clueless

Debate on Fashion Choices and Ethics

Cher Shopping with ]?

[looking at Dionne's hat; [Dr. Seuss]

Dionne Well, at least I wouldn't skin a collie to make my backpack.

[picks up Cher's backpack]

Cher It's faux!

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Clueless

A Teenager's Perspective on Normalcy

Cher Horowitz So, okay, you're probably going, "Is this, like, a ] commercial or what?" But seriously, I actually have a way normal life for a teenage girl.

[[w:Noxzema|Noxzema]

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Clueless

A Discussion on Humanity and Sterilization

Cher I wanna do something good for humanity.

Josh How about sterilization?

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Clueless

The Thrill of a Makeover

Cher I've got an idea. Let's do a makeover!

Tai No. No.

Dionne Oh, c'mon! Let us! Cher's main thrill in life is a makeover. Okay, it gives her a sense of control on a world full of chaos.

Cher Please?

Tai Sure. Why not? Shit, you guys! I've never had straight friends before.

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Clueless

California Dreaming at Sixteen

Cher Horowitz Well, you can guess what happened next. As if! I am only 16, and this is California, not Kentucky.

[after she and Josh kiss; scene changes to Mr. Hall and Miss Geist's wedding]

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Clueless

The Art of Attracting Attention

Cher Horowitz Anything you can do to draw attention to your mouth is good. Also, sometimes you have to show a little skin. This reminds guys of being naked, and then they think of sex.

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Clueless

Cher's Garden Party Analogy on Immigration

Cher So. Okay. Like, right now, for example, the Haitians need to come to America. But some people are all, "What about the strain on our resources?" But it's like, when I had this garden party for my father's birthday, right? I said RSVP because it was a sit-down dinner. But people came that, like, did not RSVP, so I was, like, totally buggin'. I had to haul ass to the kitchen, redistribute the food, squish in extra place settings. But by the end of the day, it was, like, the more the merrier. And so, if the government could just get to the kitchen, rearrange some things, we could certainly party with the Haitians. And in conclusion, may I please remind you that it does not say RSVP on the Statue of Liberty?

Cher Thank you very much.

Mr. Hall Uh, Amber? Replying?

Amber Mr. Hall, how can I answer that? The topic is Haiti and she's talking about some little party.

Cher Hello?! It was his 50th birthday!

Amber Whatever. If she doesn't do the assignment, I can't do mine.

Clueless

Critique of Snobbery in Clueless

Cher Horowitz You are a snob and a half.

[to Elton]

Clueless

Laundry Mix-Up Among Friends

Tai Cher, ain't that the same dress that you was wearing yesterday?

[pointing at Amber]

Cher Say, Ambular.

Amber Hi!

Cher Was that you going through my laundry?

Amber As if! Like I would really wear something from Judy's.

Cher Do you prefer "fashion victim" or "ensemble-y challenged"?

Clueless

The Inevitability of Violence in Entertainment

Cher Horowitz So, okay. The Attorney General says there's too much violence on TV, and that should stop. Even if you took out all the violent shows, you could still see the news. So until mankind is peaceful enough not to have violence on the news, there's no point in taking it out of shows that need it for entertainment value.

Clueless

Consequences of Cosmetic Surgery in Social Situations

Amber Ms. Stoeger, my plastic surgeon doesn't want me doing any activity where balls fly at my nose.

Dionne Well, there goes your social life.

Clueless

Driving Differences in America

Josh Hey, James Bond, in America we drive on the right side of the road.

Cher I am. You try driving in platforms.

Clueless

A Question of Selfishness Among Friends

Cher Would you call me selfish?

Dionne No. Not to your face.

Clueless

Respectful Address in Conversations

Murray Woman, lend me five dollars.

Dionne Murray, I have asked you repeatedly not to call me "woman"!

Murray Excuse me, Miss Dionne.

Dionne Thank you.

Murray Okay, but street slang is an increasingly valid form of expression. Most of the feminine pronouns do have mocking but not necessarily misogynistic undertone.

[hops away]

Tai Wow! You guys talk like grown-ups.

Cher Oh, well, this is a really good school.

Clueless

Famous Quote Discussion in Clueless

Dionne ]" Phat! Did you write that?

[[w:Shakespeare's sonnets|Rough winds do shake the darling buds of May, but thy eternal summer shall not fade.]

Cher Duh, it's, like, a famous quote.

Dionne From where?

Cher ].

[[w:CliffsNotes|Cliff's Notes]

Clueless Quotes