Dirty Rotten Scoundrels Quotes

Lawrence Jamieson Freddy, as a younger man, I was a sculptor, a painter, and a musician. There was just one problem: I wasn't very good. As a matter of fact, I was dreadful. I finally came to the frustrating conclusion that I had taste and style, but not talent. I knew my limitations. We all have our limitations, Freddy. Fortunately, I discovered that taste and style were commodities that people desired. Freddy, what I am saying is: know your limitations. You are a moron.

Freddy Benson I've got culture coming out of my ass.

Freddy Benson Excuse me. What about me? What do I get?

Lawrence Jamieson You are the student. You get knowledge.

Freddy Benson I didn't steal any money! She just saw me with another woman! You're French, you understand that!

Inspector Andre To be with another woman, that is French. To be caught, that is American.

Freddy Benson Oh, Lawrence! This is the happiest day of my life! I think my testicles are dropping!

Lawrence Jamieson A poacher who shoots at rabbits may scare big game away.

Freddy Benson I know somebody here! I met him on a train! His name... is... his name is... James. No. His name is... James Josephson. Lor. No, no, no. James Lawrence. LAWRENCE... Lawrence. Lawrence Fells. Lawrence Feings. Forest Lorenston. Low. Lars. LARS. Lawrence. Lawrence. Luch. Lawrence. Tuh. His name is James Jesenthon. Lawrence Fell. Lawrence Jesterton. LAWRENCE JESTERTON.

Inspector Andre ...Lawrence Jamieson?

Freddy Benson I was engaged to a girl back in the States. And we loved to dance... we wanted to be professionals, isn't that silly? And we got an opportunity to compete on television, on Dance USA. So we agreed that if we won, we'd get married. So we went on, and we danced, and we won!

Janet Colgate That's great!

Freddy Benson And in the excitement, we got separated. So I went back to the studio, and there they were. Naked, dancing... and then they stopped, and they made love right there on the dance floor!

Janet Colgate Who was she with?

Freddy Benson ], the host of Dance USA.

Lawrence Jamieson Do you ever have a single thought that originates from above the waist?

Freddy Benson No!

Lawrence Jamieson You've been banging on your pots again, haven't you? I've told you... if you keep on doing it, you won't have any pots left.

Janet Colgate Fellas, last year I made 3 million dollars, but your 50 thousand was the most fun. Are you ready? Then let's go get em.

Freddy Benson Excuse me. May I go to the bathroom first?

Lawrence Jamieson Of course you may.

Freddy Benson Thank you.