Kung Fu Panda 2 (2011) - Quotes

Taglines: Prepare for the return of awesomeness.

Li Shan: [steps out of the shrine and looks down upon a small farming village, which is populated by pandas just like himself. The pandas below catch his gaze] My son is alive.

Mother Pig: What do you mean he's not here? It's my son's birthday. All he wanted was to meet the Dragon Warrior.

Mr. Ping: How about some tofu birthday cake, instead?

Mother Pig: You know what...we'll try again some other time. When do you think he'll be back?

Mr. Ping: [in tears; heartbroken; flings himself across the table; sniffs; the mother pig's son starts laughing; he gets up, turns around and sees Po with two radish baskets. He approaches Po and hugs him] I don't know, okay?! I DON'T KNOW! Maybe never! I mean, I worry, okay, I'm his dad...or at least I was his dad... Why did he have to go and save China...? I know why, but why? He's just one little panda. So, how did it go? Did you save China?

Po: Yep.

Mr. Ping: [pulls out a poster of Po] I knew you would...that's why I had these new posters made... "My son saved China. You too can save, buy one dumpling get one free!

Po: Hey, that's a pretty good deal.

Mr. Ping: Would you like to try one?

Po: [sets down the baskets; Mr. Ping gulps] Maybe later. There's something I should tell you. While I was gone, I found the village where I was born...I found out how I ended up in that radish basket.

Mr. Ping: You did?

Po: I know who I am.

Mr. Ping: [barely speaking] You do?

Po: [the two embrace lovingly] I'm your son. I love you, Dad.

Mr. Ping: I love you too, son.

Shen: [trying to catch his breath] H-How did you...How did you do it?

Po: [shrugs] You know, you just keep your elbows up and keep the shoulders loose-

Shen: Not that! How did you find peace? I took away your parents, everything! I-I-I scarred you for life!

Po: See, that's the thing, Shen. Scars heal.

Shen: No, they don't. Wounds heal.

Po: Oh, yeah. What do scars do? They fade, I guess?

Shen: I don't care what scars do.

Po: You should, Shen. You gotta let go of that stuff from the past, cause it just doesn't matter. The only thing that matters is what you choose to be now.

Shen: [last words before his death] You're right. Then I choose this!

Po: [emerges; looks at the docks next to him] Whew...

Tigress: [appears and helps him up] That...was pretty hardcore.

Shen: Why aren't we firing?!

Wolf Boss: They're taking out our gunners, sir! They're getting close!

Shen: [sees Po marching at him] Fire! FIRE AT THEM!

Wolf Boss: But, sir, we'll kill our own!

Shen: [shouts] I SAID FIRE AT THEM! FIRE!!!!

Wolf Boss: [looks at Shen, then flings down his torch; last word; defiantly] No.

Po: [standing on a rooftop; cut to where Shen is standing, and can barely hear Po; faintly] Shen, a panda stands between you and your... ...Destiny!

Shen: What?!

Po: [cut back to Shen; faintly] Prepare yourself for a hot- serving of Justice! Your reign of terror comes to an end!

Shen: [still not hearing] What...?

Po: [takes his hat off] And now, free the five! Disc of Destruction!

Wolf Boss: [looks at the bridge] Lord Shen, what about the bridge?

Shen: Nothing stands in my way. FIRE!

Tigress: [to Shen; enraged] YOU COWARD!!

Shen: [approaches Tigress and leans closely in her ear; Tigress growls at him; to the wolves] Such sad, sad faces. But now is a time only for joy. You are going to be part of something beautiful. Once we reach the harbor, in front of all the world, you and your precious kung fu will die. And China will know to bow before me. Set sail!

Soothsayer: [realizing the truth in her words, Po remembers all the happy times he's had with his loved ones, meeting Shifu and the Furious Five, learning kung fu, and defeating Tai Lung] Your story may not have such a happy beginning, but that doesn't make you who you are. It is the rest of your story, who you choose to be. So, who are you, panda?

Po: [slowly stands up; determined] I am Po. And I'm gonna need a hat.

Po: [exclaims, groans; Soothsayer sticks a needle in his forehead, making his eyes bulge and his mouth pop wide open, tosses the hot medicine in his mouth and yanks the needle, making him swallow; coughs] Yeah. Like, you could make me drink that... Ew!

Soothsayer: If I wanted you dead, I would have left you in that river.

Po: [removing the needles] Why save me?

Soothsayer: So you can fulfill your destiny.

Po: [notices that they are among the burned remains of a small panda village] What are you talking about? Where am I? What is this place?

Soothsayer: [Po suddenly hears screaming inside his head and cries out in pain. He crawls towards the edge of the house ruin. gazes at him] I am surprised that you remember so little...but then, you were so little when it happened. Perhaps you do remember.

Po: What? It's just a stupid nightmare.

Soothsayer: Nightmare...or memory?

Tigress: [seeing Po fighting Shen] Po, get away from him!

Po: [flings the fork with a wok that it pins Shen's neck to big wooden box] Okay! Here we go! No more running, Shen!

Shen: [pulls the fork off and rubs his throat] So in seems.

Po: Now! Answers!

Shen: Oh, you want to know so badly? You sink knowin will heal you, eh? Fill some...crater in your soul? Well, here's your answer: your parents didn't love you, but here...let me heal you.

Tigress: [shocked] NOOOOO!

Shen: [off-screen] Greetings, panda!

Po: [angrily] Tell me what happened that night!

Shen: [mockingly] What night?

Po: That night!

Shen: Ahh. That night.

Po: [falters] Yes! We're talking about the same night, right?

Shen: [starts to fight with Po] Yes, I was there. Yes, I watched as your parents abandoned you, it's a terrible thing. I believe it went something like THIS!

Shen: [triumphantly; wields sword] You were wrong, Soothsayer! We sail to victory tonight. Your magic panda is clearly a fool!

Soothsayer: [angrily] Are you certain it is the panda that is a fool?! You just destroyed your ancestral home, Shen!

Shen: [sticks the sword's tip into a nearby fire, then pokes the burning tip to a map of China, which bursts into a spreading flame] A trivial sacrifice... when all of China is my reward.

Soothsayer: Then will you finally be satisfied? Will the subjugation of the whole world finally make you feel better?

Shen: [sneers] It's a start. I might also convert the basement into a dungeon.

Soothsayer: [her anger spent; approaches him] The cup you choose to fill has no bottom. It is time to stop this madness.

Shen: [chuckles] Why on Earth would I do that?

Soothsayer: So your parents can rest in peace.

Shen: [bitterly] My parents...hated me. Do you understand? They - They wronged me. And...I will make it right.

Soothsayer: [sadly] They loved you. They loved you so much that having to send you away killed them.

Shen: [pauses; to his gorilla guard] The dead exist in the past. And I must tend to the future. Set the Soothsayer free. She is of no use to me.

Soothsayer: [heartbroken] Goodbye, Shen. I wish you happiness.

Shen: Happiness...must be taken. And I will take mine.

Master Ox: [recognizes them] Oh...You! What did you do?! It's chaos up there! What happened to stopping Shen?!

Monkey: [sarcastically to Po] Yeah.

Po: Yeah...Guys, come on! Give me a little credit. I meant for him to get away. Cause...It was a trick. There's a plot! I was thinking...of figuring out his plot...more.

Mantis: That makes no sense.

Po: What do you mean? Sure it does.

Tigress: Po, the truth! You had Shen. What happened?

Po: What are you talking about? What're you...I don't know, what are you talking about? Uh...Yeah! Ahh...He caught me off guard.

Tigress: [pause] The truth! Fine. They'll keep you far from danger.

Master Croc: Real far.

Po: What?

Tigress: [starts to leaves Po] You're staying here.

Po: [catching up; Tigress angrily whirls round to Po. A loud hush falls over the room, pauses; everyone is terrified and shocked at it.] W-w-wait! I have to go ba--

Tigress: [enraged] YOU'RE STAYING HERE!

Po: [tries to walk past Tigress, but Tigress grabs his arm and twists him around. He turns back to Tigress] I'm going, and you can't stop me! Okay, I wasn't ready that time.

Viper: [worried] Guys, don't.

Tigress: [preparing to fight] Ready.

Po: [attempting to distract her] Look!

Viper: Stay down.

Po: [gets up, hesitates] I have to get to him!

Tigress: Then tell me why!

Po: [pauses as Tigress looks on; prepares to leave] He was there! Okay?! The peacock was there, the last time I saw my parents! He knows what happened. Where I came from. Who I am. Look, I'm going. I have to know. The hard core can't understand.

Viper: Tigress, no!

Tigress: [pulls herself away; to Furious Five] The hard core do understand. But I can't watch my friend be killed. We're going.

Crane: Hey, maybe you can't watch me be killed?

Tigress: Stop being a wimp.

Monkey: And she's back.

Master Ox: [to Po] Don't worry, kid. You're better off here.

Shen: [angrily kicks Guard Gorilla in the face] You IDIOT!

Guard Gorilla: Ow! My nose!

Shen: Call in the wolves! All of them! I want them ready to move! The Year of the Peacock begins now!

Wolf Boss: [Shen glares furiously and points one of his blades at him] Right now? Cause, it's the middle of the year, so you'd only get like, uh, half the Year of the Peacock. And this is the Year, of course, of the Peacock. Happy New Year, sir.

Shen: [quietly; no pauses; shouts] Get the wolves ready. We're loading the ships now. NOW!!! NOW, NOW, NOW, NOW, NOW!

Po: [after Shen shows off his Feathers, causing Po to have another vision about the Massacre of the Pandas] You-You were there.

Shen: [escapes] Yes. Yes, I was.

Tigress: You just let Shen get away!

Po: [Shen savagely points his knife at him in the face as quick as a flash, getting him to shut up] Okay, enough with these riddles! Would you guys just spill the beans?! First, we come in and the weapon is tiny. Surprise, it's big! And then the lady over here, I think it's a guy, cause he's got a... Whoa!

Shen: The only reason you are still alive is that I find your stupidity mildly amusing.

Po: Well, thank you, but I find your evilness extremely annoying.

Shen: Who do you think you are, panda?

Po: [Shen chuckles; laughs along with Shen, who then bursts into laughter] Who do you think I am, peacock? Why are we laughing?!

Shen: [calms down; to Wolf Boss] Take aim.

Shen: Greetings, panda. At last we meet. No. No, no, no.. We meet at last! Yes! That's it! Greetings, panda. We meet at..

Soothsayer: You are afraid for a reason.

Shen: I'm not afraid. He's coming to me in chains. If anyone should be afraid it's-

Soothsayer: [moves to Shen's robes] You!

Shen: Don't even think about it.

Tigress: That must be Shen's palace, in the other side of the city.

Po: [begins leaping off the roof] Great! We will match in the tower, and proclaim; We are the Dragon Warrior and the Furious Five, and we are here to bring you to justice!

Mantis: [grabs Po's foot, making crash back on the roof, and pulls him back] Hey! What are you doing? This place is crawling with wolves.

Crane: Hey! Isn't that the guy that hammered you in the face?

Po: [spotting Wolf Boss who smacked the pig's head while passing by] I do not like that guy.

Tigress: We need to get to that to tower, without being spotted by those wolves.

Po: [the warriors creep back down from the roof. Later, he attempts to sneak through the streets, stopping to hide behind two thin pillars. He briefly spots the Five stealthily leaping over the rooftops. He picks up a large plant and tries to use it as camouflage, but ends up tripping over the other plant pot. Now on the floor, he slides on his back towards cover...but changes direction when he sees a noodle bowl standing on the very edge of a noodle cart; he tries to reach a dangling noodle strand with his tongue] Got it. Stealth Mode.

Wolf: [off-screen] Hey, get outta the way!

Po: [alerted to the presence of wolves and rolls out of sight behind a market stall. He sneaks along the line of market stalls until he hits himself on something unseen; emerging behind a fruit stall, only to encounter a wolf passing by. The wolf stares; the strands hanging from a kite on his head, coupled with two watermelons sitting in front of his chest, give him the appearance of a woman. He notices this, pulls out a fan, and begins flirting with the wolf in a female voice; headbutts the wolf, knocking him out cold. He quickly makes his way out the stall] Ow! Oh, ho, ho, ho, ho, hello, ho, ho, ho, I couldn't help but- Anyway. Where was I?

Tigress: Where's Po?

Mantis: How can we lose a guy that big?

Po: Guys, guys?

Monkey: [appears behind Po, beneath the costume] He-Hey, Po!

Po: [startled, and accidentally backhanded Monkey as the rest of the Five joined him beneath the costume] Sorry!

Crane: So, that was stealth mode, huh?

Po: To be honest, not one of my stronger modes.

Wolf: [to the sheep] This rice is raw!

Sheep: [scared] You stole all my metal pots for Lord Shen!

Wolf: [flings down the bowl as a threat] Either you cook my rice, or I cook you!

Sheep: My apologies...

Crane: [whispers] Po, do something!

Po: [whispers] How am I supposed to help her cook rice without getting caught?! Wait, I have a better idea!

Wolf: Three, Two, One!

Po: [taps the wolf on the shoulder with the costume's tongue] Hey.

Wolf: [does a double-take, and turns back as Po punches him, knocking him out] Hey.

Po: We're here to liberate the city, and bring Shen to justice.

Sheep: You will need help!

Po: Thank you brave sheep, but it's too dangerous...I can't let you.

Sheep: Oh...No, not me. It's not safe to speak here.

Po: [thinks for a moment, and then picks the sheep up into the dragon's mouth in front of the young bunny, who screams and runs off] Right.

Sheep: I'm talking about Masters Ox and Croc. They are in Gongmen Jail, on Black Dragon alley.

Po: [puts her down] What? They're still alive?! They must be in that jail gathering intelligence, hatching a plot to use their awesomeness to defeat the weapon! Okay, let's go! Thanks, sheep.

Wolf Boss: [spots the beaten soldier and the warriors; rushing in] Hey! Stop that costume!

Viper: Take That!

Wolf Boss: [the wolves impale the costume; yanks off the costume. only to find that the warriors have been replaced by cabbage crates with swords sticking out of them] Now! Got you! Huh?! Split up! Search everywhere!

Wolf: What about over there?

Wolf Boss: Is there a part of everywhere?

Wolf: I...I guess.

Wolf Boss: Then search there!

Po: They must be close. I can feel a Kung Fu chill riding up my spine.

Viper: [sliding out the barrel] Sorry, Po. It's just me.

Tigress: [standing up and spots a hanging sign on the alley corner] Look. Gongmen Jail.

Wolf: Aw, it's cute.

Mantis: [explodes out of the barrel; swinging the wolves around before knocking them senseless and tossing two barrels over the unconscious bodies] CUTE?! Huh?!

Tigress: Nice work, Po.

Monkey: At the first sight of trouble, I'll give you a signal. Ka-kaw! Kee-kee!

Po: You mean like Crane does?

Monkey: Yeah!

Crane: [stepping up to Monkey] Excuse me, when have I ever made that noise?

Po: [spotting a melancholy Master Croc leaning on a cell door in a dark corner of the room. He excitedly runs over to him; spotting Master Ox inside and his happiness doubles; begins pulling the bars; Tigress breaks the door off its hinges; excitedly running off; turns and falters; walks back to the two masters, who have made no move to leave their cell] Master Ox? Master... The ferocious Master Croc! And Master Storming Ox! I can't believe, we're rescuing actual legends of Kung Fu. We're gonna free you from those bonds of injustice, no problem! Gotta be a key around here...no they wouldn't leave a key around here... Oh great, you found it! Alright, let's go! We're coming for you, Shen! Woo-hooo! Wahohohohoooo... ...woo? Guys, are we going or not? Do you want to meet us there later? I mean, you do wanna take back your city, right?

Master Ox: [he and Croc pick up the broken door; they push the door back in its place] Of course we do. But if we stand up against Shen, he will turn the weapon on the city!

Po: [stunned; stepping forward] Listen to yourself. You're protecting Gongmen city, by not protecting Gongmen city? If we all fight together...

Master Ox: [pushing the door, shoving Po back] Then the weapon would kill everyone!

Po: [Ox swings the door as he dodges and sidelines into the cell] Oh, would it? Then we use a sneak attack. We'll get inside, and then...

Master Croc: [they shove Po back outside with the door. Ox cuts through the central bar and forces the 2 halves into the door frame, fixes the door in place] And then you'll be stopped! By the unstoppable weapon.

Po: [leaps at the door, which swings horizontally, bring him inside and knocking Croc outside. Croc and Tigress look at each other silently- Croc begins sheepishly tapping on the door. Inside the cell, he and Ox face each other] Nothing is unstoppable except for me when I'm stopping you from telling me something unstoppable. Master Ox, I'm not let you stay in this cell!

Master Ox: [grabbing Croc's tail, yanking Croc inside while catapulting Po outside with the swinging door. Tigress catches him upside down, coolly turns him the right way up, and spins him around to face the cell] I like to see you get me out!

Po: [pointing at her with an awed expression; leaping back inside the cell. A minor scuffle ensues between the three warriors] You guys see that? It's called being awesome! Come on! Whatever happened to being heroes?

Master Croc: The only hero in this town is a dead 1.

Master Ox: [he and Croc notice that they're outside the cell] Like I said; You are not getting me out of this cell! Oh, no.

Po: [getting to his feet and stepping out of the cell, triumphantly; his triumph fades when Ox and Croc walk into the opposite cell and shut the door behind them] Yes! Alright. Let's go!

Master Croc: I get the top bunk.

Master Ox: It's time to surrender, panda. Kung Fu is dead.

Po: I...You...You...Kung Fu is a dea..aa.ad?! Fine! You stay in your prison of fear! With bars made of hopelessness. And all you get is 3 square meals a day of shame!

Master Croc: With despair for dessert.

Po: We'll take on Shen and prove to all those who hunger for justice and honor that Kung Fu still lives!

Boar Prisoner: Yeah!

Po: [annoyed] Monkey?!

Monkey: [peering over the rail, sheepishly] Ka-caw...

Po: [turns to Wolf Boss] You! You're MINE!

Boss Wolf: [Monkey and Crane take out the two guards; flees] I'll tell you what's gonna be yours: My fist in your plush cuddly, super-soft face! ...Uh-oh.

Po: [he and the Five take off after him] Get him!

Boss Wolf: [jumps onto a rickshaw cart] Get me outta here!

Antelope Driver: [frightened; speedily pulls Boss Wolf up the street as the Five emerge and chase him] Yes, sir!

Monkey: Go, Po, go!

Boss Wolf: Lose him!

Antelope Driver: Yes, sir!

Po: Viper!

Viper: [wraps herself round a pole as Po grabs her tail] Hang on!

Boss Wolf: [flings the innocent antelope into Po's path. Po barely manages to swerve round the driver] Watch out!

Po: Very uncool!

Boss Wolf: [knocking over several citizens and crates. Po is barely able to dodge the crates, and the 5 manage to pull all the citizens out the way, though they fall behind in the process. Po laughs and continues his pursuit. The chase takes them out of the market place and into a small street] Try this!

Boss Wolf: [picks up a pram full of baby bunnies] How about something small?!

Po: [horrified; the bunnies are flung into his face. Blinded, Po ends up rolling off the street and into a scaffolding as Boss Wolf laughs at him; manages to see enough to spot that their cart is about to go over the end of the scaffold. He screams before slamming his foot on the left wheel, swerving the cart onto the rooftop next to the scaffold] No, no! Cute bunnies off the face!

Bunnies: [Po sees that his foot is on green fire. Down below, the Five continue their pursuit] Fire!

Tigress: [hears Po scream and looks up. On the rooftop, Po sees that they are again about to go over the edge. With nowhere to go, they indeed go over, but Po manages to balance the cart on two ropes stretching over the street, depositing the bunnies safely in the seat. Po spots that they're about to crash into the building opposite] We lost him!

Po: [swinging beneath the cart and tosses the bunnies into the air, all of which are caught by Crane. He crashes into the building, shattering the cart, and falls back into the street. Back on street level, he's left balancing on a wheel and a stick. Far ahead, Boss Wolf laughs tauntingly and continues on] Crane, catch! Guys, guys, guys, guys! Give me a shove!

Tigress: [Mantis flings Tigress forward. Tigress flies through the air, prepares a double-fisted punch an strikes Po directly in the rear...and he goes tearing up the street, leaving a trail of fire in his wake. Boss Wolf barely has time to turn and yell in surprise before Po crashes into him. The two are now sparring on the still-moving cart, passing watching citizens as they speed down the street] Mantis, now!

Wolf Boss: Is that the best you've got?! Cause it feels like I'm fighting a big old fluffy cloud!

Po: [pushing Boss Wolf up with his foot, causing Boss Wolf to get hit in the back repeatedly by the hanging signs. Boss Wolf eventually retaliates by grabs his foot and leaning backwards, forcing him into a upwards position on the cart. Boss Wolf laughs as Po suffers the same treatment, in the face; whack; whack; whack; whack; whack; a large gate sign approaches; ducks just in time. The cart goes through the gate and begins bouncing down the stairs. The motion gives him an idea. He sticks his fist out and Boss Wolf's face gets bounced into it each time the cart bumps on a step. The cart reaches the bottom of the stairs and goes down another street before riding up a ramp, sending Po and Boss Wolf flying into the air. They scream and clutch at each other as they soar over the city. As gravity begins to take effect, he grabs Boss Wolf and forces him beneath him; CRASH! Boss Wolf takes the worst of the impact as they crash into the ground outside the palace gates. The Five rush onto the scene as he staggers off the stunned wolf. Tigress catches him as he falls backwards] Well, this cloud is about to bring the thunder! Ow! Why... are... there... so... many... signs?! WAAAAAH!!!!!! Come here! Alaka-squasho! Yes! Taste of the defeat. Let me tell you something. Next time you miss with a panda, you better bring a whole...lotta...

Wolf Boss: [gets to his feet; punches Po in the gut as he doubles over, winded] Guess nobody told you, if you mess with the wolf, you get the fangs! Now I've hit ya twice, what are you gonna do now?!

Po: [glaring at Boss Wolf, then an idea came to him] WE SURRENDER!!!

Crane: [a wolf cuffs his Crane's neck, muffled/muzzled his voice] You could chain my body, but you will never chain my... warrior spirit.

Po: They don't forget the little guy!

Mantis: [Po grabs and stuffs him in a little cage which he carries from that point on] Did you just called...?!

Tigress: [whispering in confusion] Po, what are you doing?!

Po: [cries out in pain as a pair of cuffs is slapped around his own wrists; a gorilla hooks his cuffs on a pole and yanks him off his feet. drags forward] Trust me, I gotta a pla- Oww! No way! 8-point acupressure cuffs! Just like the one that held Tai Lung, the more you move the tighter they get... These are the best cuffs. D'oh!

Shen: [smiling fondly; the throne is tossed out of a window seconds later. The cannon is moved in it's place] My father's throne. He used to let me play here, beside him. Promising with someday this throne would be mine. A little to the left.

Gorilla: But it's so heavy, Master.

Shen: [the gorillas adjust the cannon; the gorillas adjust the cannon one last time] Every thing must be exactly how I envisioned it, and I envisioned it a little to the left. Perfect! With the weapon, by my si - a little bit more. With the weapon, by my side, all China will bow before me! We move out in 3 days, when the moon is full and the tide is high. Well, you old goat, why don't you tell me my-?

Soothsayer: Fortune?

Shen: Future. I was going to say future. Look into your bowl and tell me what glory awaits.

Soothsayer: [peers into her bowl; Shen looks down and is annoyed to see he has indeed reached the bottom of the stairs leading to his throne; Shen comes closer; plucking out one of his feathers] If you continue on your current path, you will find yourself...at the bottom of the stairs. I see...I see... I see...pain.

Shen: OW! Hey! What did you do that for?!

Soothsayer: [chewing on the hem of his robe] And anger.

Shen: How dare you! This is the finest silk in the province!

Soothsayer: Followed by denial.

Shen: This is not fortune-telling! You're just saying what's happening right-!

Soothsayer: Now? The most important time is now. But if you really want to see the future...

Shen: What do you see?

Soothsayer: [burns a powder in a dish, creating a vision in swirling smoke] A peacock...is defeated by a warrior, of black and white. Nothing has changed.

Shen: [throwing a dagger, shattering the bowl; chuckling] That's impossible, and you know it.

Soothsayer: It is not impossible, and he knows it.

Shen: Who?

Wolf Boss: [running in] Lord Shen! I saw a panda!

Shen: [knocks him to the ground, gripping him by the throat] A panda?!

Wolf Boss: [nervously] A Kung Fu warrior. He fought like a demon! Big and furry, soft and squishy...uh, kinda plush and cuddly...

Shen: There are no more pandas.

Soothsayer: [taps the Boss's missing eye] Even with his poor eyesight, he can see the truth. Why is it that you cannot?

Shen: [to the Wolf Boss, angrily; pushing him away] Find this panda, and bring him to me!

Wolf Boss: [hurries away downstairs] Yes, sir!

Shen: [chuckles] So, one panda lives. That does not make you right!

Soothsayer: You're right. Being right makes me right.

Shen: [He hears a crunching sound, so turns and sees Soothsayer chewing the hem of his robe again.] Then I will kill him, and make you wrong! WILL YOU STOP THAT?!

Po: [having a dream, chuckling] Momma?

Dream Po: [running after them excitedly] Mom? Dad? Is that you? Mom, Dad!

Dream Dad Panda: [unenthusiastically] Oh. Hey-Hey, son, you're back.

Dream Po: [stops running] Huh?

Dream Mom Panda: Honey, what are you doing here?

Dream Po: But I thought...

Dream Mom Panda: [showing him a radish in a bundle] We replaced you, dear, with this lovely radish.

Dream Po: Radish?

Dream Dad Panda: It's quiet, polite, and frankly, it does better kung fu.

Dream Po: No...No, no, no! Wait!

Po: [mumbling to himself on deck; punching the mast; Plip! A water drop falls on his head. Looking up, he sees that water is dripping from the mast above. He begins making tai chi movements similar to Shifu's...; plip! Another drop hits his head. He scowls and tries again; plip! He keeps trying, getting angry as the water drops continue to interrupt him. Plip! Plip! Plip! Plip...; furiously punches the mast repeatedly; briefly stops...and a large amount of water drenches him; looking up, angered; begins headbutting the mast] Radish, radish, radish! YAH! Inner pea... pea... AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGHHHHH!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!!!!!!!!!!!! INNER PEACE! INNER PEACE! INNERPEACEINNERPEACEINNERPEACEINNERPEAPEPAPAPAH-!!!!

Tigress: Ahem.

Po: [looks up; realizing Tigress is standing on top of the cabin; feeling embarrassed] I'm...Training.

Tigress: [leaps over Po's head and lands opposite him; holding out her arm, palm faced towards him] The mast is not a worthy opponent. I'm ready.

Po: [raising his fist and punching her paw as hard as he can. POW! Then clutching his fist in pain] Okay. So serious... HA-HA-HA-OW!!!!! I think I prefer the mast.

Tigress: Apologies. I used to punch the ironwood trees by the palace to train. Now, I feel nothing.

Po: That's...severely cool!

Tigress: [smiles slightly, then holds her arm out again] Again!

Po: [getting up and begins punching her fist repeatedly] So, um, this punching ironwood trees, how long did you have to do that?

Tigress: 20 years.

Po: [stops punching; resumes punching] Oh! 20-20 years? Is there any...you know, a faster way? You know, until you'll, you know, don't feel anything?

Tigress: [twists Po's fist, spins him in the air and lands on the floor; then smiles, watching Po's belly bounces to stop] No. Besides... I don't think hard style is...your thing.

Po: [sits up straight] Oh.

Tigress: [kneels beside him] Po, why are you really out here?

Po: I just found out that my dad...isn't really my dad.

Tigress: [Po nods; deadpan] Your dad, the goose? That must have been quite a shock, and this bothers you?

Po: [punching her arm, but retracts his fist in pain] Are you kidding me? We're warriors, right? Nerves of steel, souls of Platinum. Like you. So hard core, you don't feel anything!

Tigress: [surprised] I was...

Mantis: So, what you guys talking about?

Po: Nothing. Nothing!

Viper: Po's having daddy issues.

Mantis: I'm so lucky, I don't have any problems with my dad. Maybe it's cause Mom ate his head before I was born. I don't know!

Viper: Mantis, this isn't about you! Po is the one freaking out.

Po: I'm not freaking out.

Tigress: [eyes widen and calling out to him] Po...

Po: I'm freaking in.

Tigress: Po!

Po: What?

Tigress: [the warriors turn to see Gongmen City in the distance, as the sun is rising] We're here. Gongmen city!

Shifu: [to Po and the Furious Five, reading from a scroll] Are you familiar with the master of Gongmen City?

Po: Master Thundering Rhino?

Shifu: Yes.

Po: Son of the legendary Flying Rhino?

Shifu: [hands Po the scroll] Yes.

Po: Slayer of the 10,000 serpents in the Valley of Woe?

Shifu: [sadly] He's dead.

Po: Whoa.

Crane: But-But-But that's impossible!

Tigress: Rhino's horn defense is impervious to any technique!

Shifu: It was no technique! Lord Shen has created a weapon - one that breathes fire and spits metal! Unless he is stopped, this could mean the end of Kung Fu.

Po: But I just got Kung Fu!

Shifu: [points out with his staff] And now, you must save it! Go! Destroy this weapon and bring Lord Shen to justice!

Po: [starts running with the Five; as the Five leave, he turns back to Shifu] Okay, here we go, here we- Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait...How can I do this? I mean, how can Kung Fu stop something that stops Kung Fu?

Shifu: Remember, Dragon Warrior, anything is possible when you have inner peace.

Shen: [enters the courtyard of his family palace] Good afternoon, gentlemen! Now that we've got the pleasantries out of the way, please leave my house.

Master Ox: Your house?

Shen: [spots the Soothsayer] Yes, didn't you see the peacock on the front door? Ah, there you are, Soothsayer. It seems your fortune-telling skills are not as good as you thought.

Soothsayer: We shall see, Shen.

Shen: [under his breath; aloud, to the Council] No, you shall see, old goat. Where were we?

Master Rhino: What do you want, Shen?

Shen: What is rightfully mine...Gongmen City!

Master Rhino: Gongmen is under the stewardship of the Masters Council and we will protect it, even from you.

Shen: [laughs; indicating his wolf army dragging a rather large box on a cart] I'm so glad you feel that way! Otherwise, I'd have dragged that here for nothing.

Master Ox: What's in the box, Shen?

Shen: You want to see? It's a gift. It's your parting gift, in that it'll part you; part of you here, part of you there, and part of you waaay over there, staining the wall!

Master Ox: [attacks, but is quickly brought down] You insolent fool!

Shen: [sneering] Show-off.

Master Rhino: That is a warning. You are no match for our Kung Fu.

Shen: [grins wickedly; flips backwards onto the box, revealing a massive cannon] I agree, but this is.

Shifu: [meditating; the splash sound is heard; groans] Inner peace. Inner peace. Inner peace.

Po: [runs up] Master Shifu! Master Shifu, what do we got? Pirates? Vandals of Volcano Mountain? Whatever it is, I will take them down! Cause I'm in a mood. I need to get something done. You know what I mean?

Shifu: [still meditating] Inner peace.

Po: Ahh...What are you doing?

Shifu: [performs the "Inner Peace" technique] One of Master Oogway's final teachings.

Po: Whoa! Awesome! How'd you do that?

Shifu: [smiles] Inner peace.

Po: Inner piece. That's cool. Inner piece of what?

Shifu: It's the next phase of your training. Every master must find his path to inner peace. Some chose to meditate for 50 years, in a cave just like this! Without the slimmest taste of food. Or water.

Po: Or...?

Shifu: Some find it in torture and suffering. As I did. Po, the day you were chosen as Dragon Warrior...was the worst day of my life. By far, nothing else came close. It was the worst, most painful, mind-destroying horrible moment...

Po: Okay.

Shifu: [shudders at the thought] ...I have ever experienced. But once I realized the problem was not you, but within me, I found inner peace and was able to harness the flow of the universe.

Po: So that's it? I just need inner peace? My innards are already super, super peaceful...So, all I need to do, is just get this thing going. Inner peace, you're going down! Now show me what were you doing that with your feet. I saw just sort of fancy foot...

Tigress: Po! Bandits, approaching the Musician's village

Po: Danger! Tell those musicians to start playing some action music, because it is on! Don't worry, Shifu. I'll master inner peace, as soon as I get back.

Tigress: No snack stops this time.

Po: [laughs; beat] Snack stops! Wait, you serious?

Wolf Boss: It's almost done, Lord Shen. But we're running out of metal.

Shen: [behind the smoke] Search for the farthest villages! Find more metal! China will be mine.

Crane: [gets his neck cuffed; muffled voice] You can chain my body, but you will never chain my... Warrior spirit!

Shen: [to Po] The only reason you are still alive is that I find your stupidity mildly amusing.

Li Shan: [to his wife] Take our son and run away! Go!

Tigress: [lividly to Shen for his actions] You COWARD!

Master Ox: [showing up at the boat battle with Master Croc; gestures to Shifu appearing in the fight] Your friend there is very persuasive.

Po: [in slow-motion] I love you guys!

Shen: [?; to Wolf Boss; '''Wolf Boss''': Uhhhh, did.] Fire. Well, lighten...thing!

Mantis: [kicks the Wolf Boss, when lighting the cannon] FEAR THE BUG!

Soothsayer: [first lines; voiceover] Long ago, in ancient China, the peacocks ruled over Gongmen City. They brought great joy and prosperity to the city, for they had invented fireworks. But their son, Lord Shen, saw darker power in the fireworks. What had brought color and joy could also bring darkness and destruction. Shen's troubled parents consulted a soothsayer. She foretold that if Shen continued down this dark path, he would be defeated by a warrior of black and white. The young lord set out to change his fate, but what he did next...only sealed it. Shen returned to his parents full of pride, but in their faces, he saw only horror. He was banished from the city forever. But Shen swore revenge. Someday, he would return, and all of China would bow at his feet.