Rat Quotes

Uncle Matt What you've got to appreciate is that turnin into a rat causes severe contraction of the ecephalogical muscles, and blockage of the nuerolaptical tubes.

Hubert Flynn You know, I think I like the black rats best of all. They have this wonderful sense of rhythm.

Uncle Matt There's nothin worse than a drowned rat in the toilet, whether it's a close relation or not.

Conchita Flynn He was just in from the pub, lying down with a paper, as was his wont, picking out the horses for tomorrow. And I was goin round the room, and collectin up the dirty clothes, and making a few gentle remarks on the subject of personal hygiene. And he was lying there, lettin on like he didn't hear me. So I was quietly rippin the newspaper out of his hands, in order to gain his attention, when...

Mr. Reilly A plum pudding is for Christmas, but a rat is for life.

Father Geraldo Nothin vexes me more than to give a man the last rites, and then he doesn't die at all.

Uncle Matt A rat is not particular where he dies, Conchita. The animal you have in mind is the elephant.

Hubert This Felix, what do you think if him?

Marietta Flynn I don't know. He spends a lot of time in the toilet.

Marietta Flynn How's he gonna get exercise?

Conchita Flynn He can jump up and down.

Taglines From the Director of ] and ].

Conchita I don't care how low he is doctor, that was no place to stick your thermometer.

The Doctor Well obviously he doesn't have a proper tongue - or an armpit, come to that...

Taglines He might eat maggots and live in a cage but he's still our Dad.

Hubert Flynn Seventy years ago, me grandfather, Hubert Flynn Foster, set out from his home in the County Wexford, and joining north over the hills and valleys of Whitlock, until he came to Dublin City. I remember once, when I was a chiseler, he caught me widdlin up against the wall. And he told me if I behaved like a dog, I might turn into a dog. And then he was off on one of his old yarns about people he knew that turned into goats and weasels. Of course we ran afoul, he said, of more than his prayers. But sometimes, in and among the ramblings, there'd be a grain of truth.