Road Trip Quotes

E.L. Did I say two fingers? Better make that three.

E.L. You're already cheating! Anytime you pass up sex, you're cheating on yourself. Think about it Josh, you're in college. The window of opportunity to drink and do drugs and take advantage of young girls is getting smaller by the day.

E.L. Barry, fast forward to the horny stuff.

E.L. Is this the kind of shit you've been sending Tiffany?

Barry Unleash the fury!

Barry Can we please feed Mitch now?

Rubin No. If he overeats, he could die.

Barry So? It would be worth it.

E.L. Barry, hit the lights. It's boner time!

Kyle Well, we had a few drinks, danced a little, and... y'know.

E.L. No, we don't know. Why don't you tell us?

E.L. What the hell is that?! Did you kill a cheetah?

Kyle What? No, these are her underwear! She gave them to me! I boinked her!

E.L. ... "boinked"?

Josh Well, Kyle, I certainly hope you got all the "boinking" out of your system, because we got a lot of driving to do today, guys.

E.L. Did you kill a cheetah?

Barry Austin? Austin, Massachusetts?

Barry Tiny salmon swimming in a stream / Tiny salmon chasing that impossible dream / The mynah bird says, "Caw. Ca-Caw" / The chimpanzee says, "EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE" / The friendly owl says, "Hoo, hoo-hoo" / But the salmon can only say, "Bloobloobloobloo. Blooboloobloobloo. Blooboloobolooooo-Blooblooo-Bloobloobloo." / And it's sad.

E.L. Yep. I'd give us about 20 minutes before our first ass-raping.

E.L. Hey, it's 10 feet. Bob Hope could jump this in his golf cart. See, watch, I can spit across it.