Set It Up Quotes

Harper Are you okay?

Charlie I'm fine.

Harper No, I'm talking to my pizza.

Charlie I wanna fuck this pizza.

Harper I get it. You should never say that to anyone. But I get it.

Harper I'm so sorry. I got here so early that I thought had time to dick around then I went to that gift shop, then I lost track of time and suddenly I was late.

Charlie That is the dumbest thing I've ever heard. That is not a real thing.

Harper Yes, it is. It's the over-dick-around thing. I over-dicked it.

Harper Guys think that they like girls who like sports. What they actually like is a girl in a very tight sports jersey, serving them wings and getting the terminology wrong. Guys like girls who like guys who like sports.

Harper Why are you dressed like that?

Charlie I don't work here anymore. I quit working for Rick. Starting over. At 28. Actually, I'm a temp, which is technically lower on the totem pole than an assistant, which is kind of a kick in the nuts. But it's, um, kind of cool. I get to see a bunch of different jobs. Find out what I actually like. I like you. So, so much. You're not hard to get at all. You're hard to earn. It's so much better.

Harper Hard-to-get makes no sense. It's evolutionarily unsound. Why would a caveman want a cave woman who was like Go get me food, and when you come back maybe there will be a cave for you, maybe there won't be. Men should want women that are gonna keep the coziest, warmest caves. Men need shelter. I am guaranteeing shelter.

Harper It's just like, I worked so hard at being this great assistant and making sure she was happy that... I don't know, feels like I might have lost any writing skill I ever had.

Charlie Well, that is definitely not true. You're a terrible assistant.

Harper One is a stunningly beautiful woman with dark hair and a fierceness that's both scary and inspiring.

Harper The other's a guy.

Harper When my mom was my age, she had me. I've never even had a boyfriend.

Charlie But you're, like, a grown up.

Harper Take that back.