Misunderstandings About Family Christmas Plans
Donkey:
I don't understand why Shrek had to be so mean and cranky. We were tryin what you wanted us to do.
Fiona:
What're you talking about?
Donkey:
What you said this morning. You and Shrek wanted to have a big, noisy family Christmas.
Fiona:
No, I said it was our first Christmas together as a family.
Donkey:
Right. That's me and everybody else. Then he lost his temper like that.
Fiona:
You know, Donkey, none of us really asked Shrek what he wanted.
Puss in Boots: [to Donkey]
I must agree with the Princess. And you, were no Christmas angel.
Donkey:
I don't remember askin you anything!
Fiona:
Donkey.
Donkey:
I'm sorry, Princess. You're right. Even still, Shrek didn't have to be so...
Shrek: [Donkey screaming and Puss shrieking]
What? Pigheaded? Stubborn? Mean? Well, maybe I am all those things, but I'm an ogre, OK? So here's the thing. I'm sorry you took getting kicked out of my house the wrong way. No, wait. What I meant to say is I know you're just trying to be helpful in your irritating fashion...
Puss in Boots:
Ay, caramba!
Shrek:
Some people can't help being annoying.
Fiona:
Shrek!
Shrek:
Look, I shouldn't have lost my temper back there.
Wolf:
Apology accepted. Let's eat.
Donkey:
Wait a minute. There's somethin more to this. Come on, what's goin on?
Shrek:
Look, all I wanted was to make this perfect for my family, but I don't even know what Christmas means. The thing is, this is my first Christmas too.
Donkey:
Hold up, Shrek! You mean that you never had...
Shrek:
No.
Puss in Boots:
Not even one?
Shrek:
No!
Donkey:
You mean no chestnuts, no Santa, no presents, no stockings? No nut cakes?!
Shrek:
Donkey! No, none of that. Ogres don't celebrate Christmas. Ogres don't celebrate anything.
Donkey:
Oh, man, now I'm all emotional. Come here, gimme a hug!
Shrek:
All right, that's close enough.
Donkey:
OK, all right, I just... guess I got... a little excited about Christmas and all the presents and mistletoe and everything, and I forgot that it's... It's about us all bein together, and I'm... I'm sorry, Shrek.
Shrek:
I know, Donkey, and... and I'm sorry it ended up in a great big fight.
Donkey:
Christmas is all about big fights. My mama used to say, "Christmas ain't Christmas till somebody cries." Usually that someone's me.
Puss in Boots:
There is no right way to do Christmas. You just do it.
Pigs:
Ja, with schnitzel!
Pinocchio:
And eggnog!
Mices:
And cheese!
Fiona:
And family.
Shrek:
Yeah. And family. So despite the fact that you drive me crazy at times... Yes, Donkey, I'm lookin at you. ...it would mean a lot to me if you'd all come back and join us.
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Conflict Over Christmas Guests
Shrek:
OUT! I want everybody out of my house, RIGHT NOW!
Donkey: [screams as he's thrown out the door]
Yeah, well, that's a real nice way to treat your guests on Christmas! And if you think I am gonna give you a present now, you are SADLY mistaken!
Shrek:
You want to give me a present? Then go away! That's all I wanted!
Donkey:
Fine! I'm going!
Shrek:
Good! Then go!
Donkey: [runs away then comes back; runs away again]
You go and have yourself a Merry Christmas! Ebenezer Shrek!
Shrek:
And a "bah, humbug" to you, too!
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Christmas Teasing Among Friends
Gingy: [his story unfolds; Suzie shrieks and he laughs]
Twas the night before Christmas, and the prettiest sights were my sweetheart beside me in the bright Christmas lights. ...until they got home, when they looked at the car door handle and they found...A HOOK!
Suzie: [her first words]
Gingy, cut it out! You're really givin me the creeps!
Gingy:
Oh, come on, I was just teasin'. Come here, you.
Suzie: [giggles]
Oh, Gingy, I couldn't stay mad at you.
Gingy: [hears rustling noise]
What was that?
Suzie:
Oh, no, you don't. I'm not fallin for that again.
Gingy: [turns on headlights and sees a giant Santa Claus]
No, I'm really, really seriously not kidding. Whoa!
Suzie: [her last words]
Oh, Gingy!
Gingy: [watches Suzie getting devoured]
Oh! Suzie! No! NO! NOOOOOO!!!
Donkey: [cuts off Gingy's story]
That's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard! Now, you know that's not how it goes!
Gingy:
You weren't there!
Shrek:
Alright, everyone, I've had just about enough. All I wanted was a nice Christmas, with MY family!
Donkey:
And that's exactly why we're all here! Now, come on, let's finish telling my story!
Shrek: [Accidentally drops Christmas for Village Idiots.]
Oh, no, Donkey, that's not what I meant. And get out of my chair!
Donkey:
Hey, what's this?
Shrek:
Donkey! Let go of the book!
Donkey:
Why are you whispering?
Shrek: [Accidentally throws Christmas for Village Idiots.]
I'm not kidding Donkey, GIVE ME THE BOOK!!!
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Unexpected Moments of Humor in Shrek the Halls
Gingy:
Excuse me. Excuse me!
Shrek:
Excuse you for what?
Gingy: [pukes a chocolate chip; runs away]
I don't feel very good. Ah, I feel better now.
Donkey: [eats off the floor]
Ooh, a chocolate chip! Mm!
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A Festive Gathering of Unlikely Friends
Pinocchio:
C'mon, everybody, let's DANCE!
Big Bad Wolf:
Apology accepted. Let's go eat.
3 Little Pigs:
Ja, with schnitzel.
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Gingy's Surprising Reaction to Santa
Gingy: [slams the door]
Santa?! AAAAAAHH!!!
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Gingy's Advice to Shrek on Safety
Gingy:
Stop, drop, and roll, Shrek!
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Gingy's Unexpected Discovery at Home
Gingy:
...until they got home, when they looked at the car door handle and they found...A HOOK!
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Christmas Is a Nightmare for Gingy
Gingy:
Aw, phooey with all your sunshine and lollipops! Where I come from, Christmas is a nightmare!
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Gingy's Playful Question About Falling from Heaven
Gingy: [talking to an angel-shaped cookie]
Did you hurt yourself when you fell out of heaven?
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Celebrating Christmas in Your Own Way
Puss in Boots:
Boss, there's no right way to do Christmas, you just do it.
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Puss in Boots Expresses Regret
Puss in Boots: [jumps off the chair]
I have shamed myself.
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Puss in Boots on Santa Nicholas Variations
Puss in Boots:
In my homeland, we tell a very different tale of the Santa Nicholas. He's not made of waffles.
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Puss in Boots Accepts His Role
Puss in Boots: [gets himself tortured by the ogre babies]
Okay, I will assume the position.
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Fiona's Decision to Apologize to Friends
Princess Fiona: [walks away with the babies in her arms]
I have to go. I need to apologize to our friends.
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Understanding Friends and Their Intentions
Princess Fiona:
They're our friends, Shrek. They all mean well.
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Celebrating Christmas Together with Joy
Princess Fiona: [pulls Shrek's arm]
This is gonna be the best Christmas ever. And we're going to do it together, so come on.
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Donkey Reacts to Shrek's Situation
Donkey: [laughs; snow dumps on him]
They got you good, Shrek! Hey! That wasn't even funny. Who did that?
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Christmas and the Inevitable Tears
Donkey: [sniffles]
My mom used to always say: "Christmas ain't Christmas till somebody cries". Usually, that someone's me
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The Importance of Family at Christmas
Donkey:
How are you gonna have Christmas without your family?
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Donkey Wishes Shrek a Merry Christmas
Donkey:
Merry Christmas, Shrek!
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A Unique Holiday Wish from Shrek
Shrek:
Smelly Christmas to all, and to all a gross night!
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Shrek's Invitation for Togetherness and Understanding
Shrek:
So, despite the fact that you drive me crazy at times,-- Yes, Donkey, I'm looking at you. --it would mean a lot to me if you'd all come back and join us.
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Shrek's Advice on Holiday Traffic
Shrek:
Alright, everybody, if you leave now, you can beat the holiday traffic!
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Shrek's Disappointment with Puss in Boots
Shrek:
Oh, Puss, not you too.
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Shrek Questions an Unexpected Situation
Shrek: [turns to Gingy]
Excuse you for what?
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Confusion About Decorating for Christmas
Shrek:
The tree goes inside the house?
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Shrek's Struggle with Christmas Preparations
Shrek:
I have to make a Christmas, and I have no idea what it is or how to do it.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
