Trick 'r Treat (2007) - Quotes

Taglines: Poison, drowning, claw, or knife - so many ways to take a life.

Sara: [in the quarry] That bus is around here somewhere. I think it's over here.

Schrader: Over where? I can't see shit in this fog. Think I found a dead retard.

Macy: That's me asshole.

Schrader: Like I said.

Macy: Both of you shut up and keep looking.

Schrader: There's something moving by that rock.

Macy: I can't see.

Sara: [screams] Jesus, what is that? Help me!

Macy: Sara! Where's Sara? Run!

Schrader: There's nowhere to go!

Chip: Up! I wanna go back up!

Laurie: [wearing Disney princess costumes] I am not wearing this. It's too small. And my tits keep popping out.

Danielle: That's the idea.

Laurie: I don't know why we drove out here when there are perfectly good guys in the city.

Janet: Fresh meat.

Maria: It's what we do every Halloween, Laurie.

Laurie: Whatever happened to Trick or Treating?

Maria: Puberty.

Janet: Last year we were in Tampa.

Maria: And we went as sexy nurses.

Danielle: No Janet, Tampa was two years ago, I remember because you puked doing a guy in his pickup truck.

Janet: I ate some bad Mexican, and it was a jeep.

Danielle: Last year was San Diego. We dressed as sailors and ended up with sailors.

Janet: Yeah, and Maria's sailor was a girl.

Maria: So what, she had a nice ass, it all tastes the same to me anyway.

Sara: [after Macy tells the story about the School Bus Massacre] You are so full of shit.

Macy: Really? Well, then I guess you won't mind being first.

Sara: First what?

Macy: Eight victims, eight jack-o'-lanterns, each one representing a lost soul. So we're going to leave them by the side of the lake as an offering to those who died.

Chip: Oh.

Schrader: Great, a rock quarry. Nice way to celebrate Halloween, Macy.

Chip: Why are we here?

Macy: To pay our respects to the dead.

Chip: What happened? Did somebody die here?

Sara: Wait. Is this where - ? It is isn't it? This is where that school...

Macy: Shut up, Sara.

Chip: The Halloween School Bus Massacre.

Macy: Just don't call it that.

Schrader: What's she talking about?

Sara: It's this awesome town legend. There's this bus full of...

Macy: Jesus, will you shut up and let me tell the damn story?

Rhonda: You said a bad word.

Macy: [begins narrating the flashback] It happened 30 years ago on a late Halloween afternoon. A school bus was on its usual route. But this wasn't your typical school bus and they weren't your typical kids. There were eight of them and they were different. Troubled. Disturbed. Every day, parents put their dirty secrets on this bus to be driven to a school miles out of town.

Vampire Kid: [in his seat counting the addresses outside] 3260. 3264. 3266.

Macy: But that day... the driver took a different route.

Vampire Kid: Wrong way. Wrong way. Wrong way.

Macy: And instead of taking the students home he drove the bus to an abandoned rock quarry. This rock quarry. What the kids didn't know is that, over the years, their parents had become exhausted, and embarrassed. And they were willing to do anything to ease their burden. So one day, the parents approached the bus driver and made him an offer. With the money collected together, they asked him to do the unthinkable. It almost worked perfectly.

Vampire Kid: [he manages to get out of his chains and gets behind the wheel] Wrong way. Wrong way. Home. Home. I wanna go home. I wanna go home. Home. Home. Home. Home. I wanna go home. Home.

Macy: The driver was never heard from again. As for the bus, some say it sank so deep that it couldn't be found. Others say the town just didn't want it to be found. For all we know, it's still down there and so are those kids.

Mr. Kreeg: [hears a noise] Spike! Spike! Get your ass in here. Are you finished crapping or what? Who the hell is that?

Mr. Kreeg: I've got an NRA membership in my pocket and a shotgun over the fireplace, so get outta here before I...

Steven: It's me, Mr. Kreeg. Steven, Steven Wilkins.

Mr. Kreeg: What in God's name are you doing down there, Wilkins? Hiding Bodies?

Mr. Kreeg: What did you say?

Steven: Nothing, its... Uh, septic tank is acting up.

Mr. Kreeg: Is that what that smell is?

Steven: I'm afraid so.

Mr. Kreeg: Then fix it. It stinks like a dead whore out here.

Steven: [kicks the kid; kicks the kid again] I'm... ...trying.

Mr. Kreeg: And keep your kid out of my yard. Goddamn freak.

Steven: Happy Halloween.

Mr. Kreeg: Screw you!

Chip Winslow: You must really like Halloween.

Rhonda Curran: [[w:Samhain|Samhain] You mean ]?

Chip Winslow: What?

Rhonda Curran: [[w:All Hallows' Eve|All Hallows' Eve; [w:Christianity|Christianity; [w:Celtic|Celtic; [w:Holiday|holiday; [w:Autumn|autumn; [w:Winter|winter; pauses awkwardly] Samhain, also known as ], also known as Halloween. Pre-dating ], the ] ] was celebrated on the one night between ] and ] when the barrier between the living and the dead was thinnest, and often involved rituals that included human sacrifice. I like your eye patch.

Chip Winslow: Oh...

Steven: Happy Halloween.

Billy: [shouting from the top floor bedroom window] Daddy! I'm back from Trick-or-Treating!

Steven: Billy. Shh. Please, be quiet.

Billy: [shouts] Why?

Steven: Because you'll bother the neighbors, now go watch Charlie Brown and I'll be in in a minute.

Billy: Charlie's Brown's an asshole!

Steven: Billy Wilkens! Language.

Billy Wilkins: [Steven Wilkins places his hand on his son's head] Let's carve a scary face this time.

Steven Wilkins: [raises a butcher knife above his head; Wilkins stabs down with the knife and grunts, then raises the bloodied knife; whispers] A scary face it is. Wrap it around.

Billy Wilkins: [smiles] But don't forget to help me with the eyes.

Halloween Commercial Man: During the spookiest time of the year there are a few guidelines all ghosts and goblins should follow. Always stay on sidewalks. Never go to a strangers house, and never go out alone.

Emma: [Sarcastically] This was a great idea, honey. Really. It's just magical. It makes me wish every night was Halloween.

Henry: I'm sorry Em. Wait, wait. Not yet.

Emma: What?

Henry: You're supposed to keep it lit.

Emma: Why?

Henry: Ancient tradition?

Emma: Henry, it's Halloween, not Hanukkah. Baby, I'm lit and you're lit.

Henry: But honey...

Emma: But our little friend here? His night's over.

Henry: You know, there are rules, you should be more careful. You might upset someone.

Emma: Oh, please. Who?

Reporter: Werewolves, zombies and demons of every variety. They've all descended on the normally sleepy town of Warren Valley, OH. Where the holiday and all of its strange traditions are taken very seriously. It's only 8:00 and the streets are already packed with costumed visitors. Some to show off, others to blend in, but all to celebrate the magical night of Halloween. The one night a year where we can pretend to be the scariest thing we think of.

Principal Steven Wilkins: [mocking his son] Daddy, I want to carve a pumpkin." "Daddy, I want to go to the festival." "Daddy, I wish mommy was still alive.

Principal Steven Wilkins: [notices Charlie looking nauseous; [w:Root beer|root beer; chuckles; [w:Poisoned candy scare|always check your candy] I didn't do such a good job, did I? What do you think? Hey. You OK? You need a ]? Oh, wait. That's right. There's another tradition, a very important one... ].

Principal Steven Wilkins: [pulls a knife out of his bag; [w:Jack-o'-lantern|jack-o'-lanterns] Here. Help yourself. It's for the pumpkin, not you. Promise. All of mine were dull. Ahh, smashin ]? Stealin candy? It's OK. Believe it or not, I was just like you when I was a kid. Til my dad set me straight, that is. See, my dad taught me tonight is about respecting the dead because this is the one night that the dead and all sorts of other things roam free... and pay us a visit. Sorry. All these traditions... jack-o'-lanterns, putting on costumes, handing out treats... they were started to protect us, but nowadays... no one really cares.