A Change in the Old Gent's Behavior
Bunny Wigglesworth:
… I ought to freshen up and say "Hi-ho!" to the old gent. Tell me, is he still as loud as ever?
Don Diego:
No. The last month, he's been very… quiet.
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The Navy's Influence on Identity
Bunny Wigglesworth:
They say the Navy makes men. Well, I'm living proof — they made me.
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Unexpected Connections Between Old Friends
Don Diego:
I know you?
Bunny Wigglesworth:
Know me? Sink me! We were once… womb-mates!
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A Question of Perception in Conversation
Don Diego:
Are jou jelling at me?
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Struggling with Legacy and Destiny
Don Diego:
My father would be very ashamed of me now. To come all this distance, and miss my destiny by… a foot.
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Relief Amidst Uncertainty
Don Diego:
Florinda, you're not hurt!
Florinda:
Thank God for small favors!
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Captain Esteban's Unconventional Performance Instructions
Captain Esteban:
Now, lisp like a sissy
Captain Esteban:
That's right! Now, swing your hips …
Captain Esteban:
Excellent! Now flap your wrists …
Captain Esteban: [Esteban speaks in a greatly exaggerated ''sissy'' voice; laughs hysterically]
And repeat after me "You naughty, naughty, evil Alcalde! I am going to do … many terrible things … TO YOU!
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Repetitive Movements Lead to Frustration
Captain Esteban:
Now walking and running and jumping in place, and…
Esteban, Diego: [in unison]
… now walking and running and jumping in place, and now walking and jumping and running in place—
Captain Esteban:
STOP!
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A Night of Unusual Romantic Expectations
Florinda:
Do you realize… that we only make love 12 times a year?
Don Diego:
Once a month is not too bad!
Florinda:
I mean, 12 times in one night! And then, for the rest of the year — nothing!
Don Diego:
Tell me… on that one night… does he eat anything especial? Oysters? Raw eggs?
Florinda:
Garlic. A lot of garlic.
Don Diego:
Ah!
Florinda:
Diego, darling! Why didn't I marry you instead of him?
Don Diego:
Perhaps because he asked you and I did not.
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Mocking Esteban's Foolishness
Florinda:
He made a complete fool out of Esteban. Ha ha!
Don Diego:
Well, with Esteban, there is so much material to work with!
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Wit and Blades: A Sharp Exchange
Captain Esteban:
Is your blade as sharp as your tongue?
Zorro:
Is yours as dull as your wit?
Captain Esteban:
You're a little clumsy, are you not, my friend?
Zorro:
To be your friend, I would have to be more than clumsy — I would have to be estupid!
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Misunderstandings in Identity and Relationships
Captain Esteban:
That man in the black sombrero — this is Zero?
Old Man:
I am certain of it!
Captain Esteban:
Then the hideous dog you refer to must be my wife, yeah?
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The Duality of Public and Private Roles
Florinda:
You know, as the Alcalde's wife, I must play many, many, many roles, but the people only see the part I play in public. Only a few select friends know my private parts.
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Mysterious Figure and His Unpleasant Companion
Velasquez:
He said his name was, uh… "Zero". He was dressed all in black, and was accompanied by a… hideous dog.
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Guard Inquires About Invitation from Señor Beaver
Guard:
Where is your invitation, Señor Beaver?
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Zorro's Return Announcement for Justice
Diego Zorro:
Spread the news… that he is back! To help the helpless! To befriend the friendless! And to defeat… the feetless!
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Misunderstanding a Symbol: Z vs. 2
Diego Zorro:
You recognize that famous sign, eh?
Old Man:
Oh, yes, Señor. It is a number "2".
Diego Zorro:
That is not a "2". That is a "Z"!
Old Man:
Oh, if you say so, Señor! But in the school, that is how they teach my granddaughter to draw a "2"!
Diego Zorro:
Well, I say it is a "Z" — for "El Zorro"!
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A Tax Collector's Plea for Mercy
Tax Collector:
I beg your mercy from- from your flashing blade, and—
Tax Collector:
Ooooh! Oh my God! — also from your hideous dog!
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Animal Comparisons in Zorro's Dialogue
Don Diego:
What're you supposed to be, eh, a… duck? A bear? Don't be silly — bears don't have ears like that. I will allow you that you are a… a pig, but that is as far as I will go. That's all.
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The Tools of Justice and Deception
Vega Sr.:
The sword, with which to fight injustice. This mask, with which to deceive tyranny. And this hat, which needs… reblocking.
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Inquiring About Accommodations and Perceptions
Charlotte Taylor Wilson:
Could you tell me where I might find a decent inn?
Don Diego:
An inn?! With all your talk about the people, I see you like decent inns! And you wear expensive clothes, not the rags. And you smell of the sultry perfumes, not the… ship oil.
Charlotte Taylor Wilson: [pauses in puzzlement]
Ship oil? You mean the oil from boats?
Don Diego:
No, ship oil, from the ships in the field.
Charlotte Taylor Wilson: [slowly]
What ships… in the field?
Don Diego:
Jou have never heard of the ships in the field? The little, uh… baa-baa-baas?
Charlotte Taylor Wilson:
Oh, you mean "sheep"!
Don Diego:
Jes, that is what I said.
Charlotte Taylor Wilson:
No, you said "ship"! Forgive me, but you have a very pronounced accent.
Don Diego:
Jou're trying to change the subject from the fact that jou are actually… very wealthy.
Charlotte Taylor Wilson:
I am not… very wealthy!
Don Diego: [counting off on his fingers]
After all, what poor woman can afford three names? Answer me that if you can, Señorita Charlotte… Taylor… Wilson.
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Debate on Happiness and Power Dynamics
Don Diego:
The peoples are quite happy working the land for the caballeros!
Charlotte Taylor Wilson:
You don't really believe the people are happy!
Don Diego: [quietly]
All I know is the soldiers are very happy shooting the peoples who say the peoples are not happy.
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Voices of Defiance in the Village Square
Captain Esteban:
Arrest that woman! Now!
Charlotte Taylor Wilson:
No, wait! Isn't this the village square, where according to law, everyone is allowed to speak his or her mind?
Captain Esteban: [yelling to the crowd]
You're right, Señorita. The woman is allowed to speak! But arrest anyone who listens.
Charlotte Taylor Wilson: [to the crowd]
Let your voices be heard! Oppose the… greedy bloodsuckers!
Charlotte Taylor Wilson:
Thank you. I'm Charlotte Taylor Wilson. I'm with the People's Independence Committee.
Don Diego:
Don Diego Vega. I'm with the… greedy bloodsuckers.
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Tax Consequences and Personal Accountability
Captain Esteban:
That man was three pesos short in paying his taxes. I can assure you that he will never be short again.
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Introductions Among Notable Characters
Captain Esteban:
Caballeros! I believe you all know each other?
Don Diego:
Don Diego from San Fernando.
Don Francisco:
Don Francisco from San Jose.
Don Fernando:
Don Fernando from San Diego.
Don Jose:
Don Jose from San Bernardino.
Luis Obispo:
Luis Obispo from Bakersfield.
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The Turtle's Role in a Tragic Accident
Captain Esteban:
Your father, I'm sorry to say, had a terrible accident.
Don Diego:
Accident?
Captain Esteban:
Sí. He was out riding when his horse was frightened by a turtle.
Captain Esteban:
My friend — I want you to know that the turtle who caused this has been executed.
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A Mute Servant Sparks Humor and Irony
Don Diego:
That is, uh, my servant, Paco. He is a mute. He cannot speak.
Captain Esteban:
Oh, excellent! Perhaps he can give lessons to my wife.
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Birthplace of Identity in California
Don Diego:
Los Angeles de California. The birthplace… of me.
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Overconfidence Meets Unexpected Challenge
Don Diego:
I do not wish to insult you, my dear Garcia, but I could fight four men such as you!
Don Garcia:
You are quite right, Don Diego.
Don Diego:
You see?
Don Garcia:
That is why I brought my FIVE BROTHERS!
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A Question of Worth in Marriage
Veronica:
Tell me the truth. Do you think I'm a good wife?
Don Diego:
Veronica… you are more exciting than Venus herself.
Veronica:
Then why doesn't my husband ever say that?
Don Diego:
Because he's not intelligent. He is not intuitive. He is not insightful.
Don Garcia:
And he is not in Barcelona!
Don Diego:
Don Garcia, I am astonished you would enter my house without my permission!
Don Garcia:
I might say the same thing about you with my wife!
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