Of course, everything goes to hell, in the most spectacularly violent and least plausible way possible. And the movie, which has the logline of one of those action movies that premieres on Cinemax on Friday night, is surprisingly handsome (British cinematographer David Tattersall, known for his longstanding relationship with George Lucas, shot it) and gleefully entertaining. It was produced by Jerry Bruckheimer, who, in 1997, had his hand so firmly on the pulse of the American people that he could have probably been elected to office.
"Con Air" is crazy. That much we know. But what's pretty certifiable is that Disney (who produced the movie -- more on that in a minute) will never make another movie as crazy ever again.
When Bob Iger took over the company following Michael Eisner's tenure, he began cutting away at what he felt were unnecessary lines of business. Iger wanted to streamline everything and centralize it under a single brand; Walt Disney Pictures wasn't even used anymore. Everything was simply Disney. It's easy to see why he did it, he wanted to easily establish what Disney meant and reinforce that meaning through the product. There wouldn't be confusion over Touchstone versus Hollywood versus Miramax versus Disney, there'd just be Disney. And you'd know what you got when you showed up for a Disney movie, just like you'd know what to expect from a Disney Park or a Disney Cruise.
That meant Touchstone, Miramax and Hollywood all went away, only resurrected for certain individual movies (like when Disney was releasing DreamWorks' live-action slate) but without a continuous development slate. These shingles were supposed to be where Disney could release riskier movies and develop filmmakers who didn't fit within the core Disney brand but that all went away. There'd be no more R-rated releases, only films that appealed to all "four quadrants" of moviegoers. That meant a violent, profanity-filled action-thriller would never be developed, let alone green lit and produced.
Even more problematic is the character of Ramon "Sally-Can't Dance" Martinez, played by Renoly Santiago. If you can't tell by the colorful nickname, this is a character who is flamboyantly gay and a cross-dresser, and if the other characters are cartoons, then he's something that's doodled on a cocktail napkin -- barely recognizable as a character at all. It could be argued that the character works in the context of the super-sized world of the film, but it would also be something that would prevent the film from being made today.
So yes, "Con Air," that towering achievement of insanity, is the rare cultural relic that will never be able to be duplicated or improved upon. It is of its time, for sure, and was only able to exist because a few key factors came together to make it so. These days, Disney is about appealing to everyone and "Con Air," while conventionally mainstream, would never achieve liftoff.
